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[Linda]

Check out this

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid...

Linda W

[Lola]

Hi All,

I got an email that Debbie Macomber has put out a coloring book . I will have to get it lol. Hugs Lola

[Brandi]

If you ladies had time, i posted a pic for a friend. Her son's class is trying to get postcards from all 50 states. If you would lile to help, check out the pic.

Brandi

[Lola]

Hi All,
I read this days Word and thought we could all use it here, hope no
one minds.Hugs Lola



Joy
I am joyful. I am free!






Sunday, April 17, 2016



Jesus spoke of joy as an inner quality, divine in nature. “I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” Joy is my essence, a fundamental part of my being.

Joy allows me to approach any circumstance with a lightness of spirit and a sense of humor. I love life! When I look at situations with optimism, the world around me reveals wonder for all it offers. My bliss does not depend on outer conditions; rather happiness becomes my innate response, welling up from within. One joyful thought starts a chain reaction, just as a ready smile invites others to smile too.

I am cocreator with God, developing the life I want. I am joyful. I am free!


Consider it nothing but joy … that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.—James 1:2, 4

[[deleted user]]

Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful passage. xo

[Lesley]

Hi, Has anyone heard anything from Jina, is she ok? as she hasn't posted for a while. I know she is really busy with the girls & doctors' appointments etc.

[Jina]

Lesley wrote: "Hi, Has anyone heard anything from Jina, is she ok? as she hasn't posted for a while. I know she is really busy with the girls & doctors' appointments etc."

Hi Lesley,
Thank you so much for checking on me. I just happened to get caught up enough to get online today. I haven't even been on Facebook much as I try to make sure to check that at least once a day since that is my lifeline to my parents, sister and brothers and countless other relatives. I haven't been on as I have been studying for my CNA (certified nursing assistant) exam when I haven't been helping the girls with their appointments and health. Two weeks ago we had 13 appointments in 5 days and this last week we had 9. This week is a slow week with only 5. Samantha Dawn had her 25th birthday on the 15th and we always let the birthday girl choose what she wants for supper, she chose Chinese food so she had General Taos chicken and Crab Ragoons, Sarah had fried scallops and 2 egg rolls and Michael had a Happy Family with Shrimp fried rice and I had 2 egg rolls and stir fry veggies. Since Sam doesnt really like cake we got Turtle brownies and the no bake jello cheesecake with the strawberry topping. Heather made her a card and gave Sam a nightgown. Sarah gave Sam a pair of jeans and some underwear with funny sayings on them (only a sister or her "panty aunty" could get away with something like that. Michael and I gave her cash. Sam has had a couple near fainting spells this last month so I got a blood sugar monitor and a journal so we can try to find a pattern. I am not trying to be mean or rude but it will sound like I am but my daughter Sam is severely overweight. We have had her thyroid checked and other tests that came back between normal or borderline. Sam can diet and gain weight, she doesn't overeat but she has 3 things against her1, a VERY slow metabolism, two she is highly sensitive /borderline allergic to many things including the sun so getting outside for any amount of time to walk or ride a bike etc... is hard to do and now #3 her Fabrys.. its basically she and her sisters lack the enzyme that breaks down fat to usable parts so it builds up in her tissues and bloodstream and organs. So hopefully when the enzyme treatmemts start, Sams access fat that has built up will over time go away. So please pray that when treatments start this fall it helps Sam in so many ways.
This last week it was my turn with the psychologist. Her name is Caroline and she is very sweet. Two weeks ago my girls told her they were worried about me and how much I hold in, that they knew I cried in the shower and when I would be by myself sometimes. So at their request I said I would see Caroline alone. I told them I tell friends (you guys :) ) what's happening so that I am not "really" bottling everything up. Caroline says its great that I have you all (give yourselves big hugs and pats on the back from me and Caroline lol) but she says she is worried most about me. When I said "why I tested negative?" She told me that my family all suffers from PTSD but I also display survivors guilt. She gave me a pamphlet and I have done a little reading and now have to keep a journal for our meetings. But brightside I am feeling better and able to sleep a little better some nights.
I have missed y'all. You all are so dear to me. I hope you know what a gift your friendship is to me.
Oh and GREAT NEWS!!! We were riding in the car today and a song came on that 4 years ago used to be Heather and Sarah's favorite to sing and they used to sing it so much that it would irritate Sam (mostly because it would get stuck in her head for hours after lol). The song is Party in the USA by Miley Cirus. Well anyway, it came on the radio today and Heather SANG!!! She put her hands up, she nodded her head she wiggled her but and she sang just like she used to. Her voice wasnt strong but it was there and I was so happy I cried! I came home and downloaded it onto her mp3 player. That girl lights up my life in some way everyday. They all do everyday but she just amazes me more and more and I am so glad I am her Mom. I hope everyone is doing well. I love you guys.
Hugs and much love,
Jina

[[deleted user]]

Jina...I don't know how you do it. You inspire me every day. I'm glad you're talking to someone, and that it's helping...and so glad that you've hung in here with our group, too. Happy belated birthday to Sam, and cheers to Heather! Take care and rest as much as you can. xo

[Lesley]

Jina wrote: "Lesley wrote: "Hi, Has anyone heard anything from Jina, is she ok? as she hasn't posted for a while. I know she is really busy with the girls & doctors' appointments etc."

Hi Lesley,
Thank you so ..."
Hi Jina, So pleased to hear from you & that you & the girls are doing as ok as you all can. Your life is so hectic I don't know how you do everything you do & still sudy. You are amazing. Lesley

[Lola]

I nominate Jina for Wonder Women of the year!!! Here I was feeling tired from painting the bathroom ! It is a beautiful blue from Lowes called Clear Blue Sky, and it is like a clear spring sky, I am going to paint clouds on the ceiling. Man all the scrubbing of walls and ceiling have my shoulders and arms sore. Thank goodness for Advil! The smell of the paint was getting to Wolf so I had to stop mid-way ,he and Bill are going for an ATV ride tomorrow so I will finish it then. OH and darn we had a hard freeze Friday and it took out 1/2 of my tomato plants in the greenhouse. I am sure glad I started more than I needed for Jen, sorry kid you will get less plants lol. Hugs Lola

[Lesley]

Lola wrote: "I nominate Jina for Wonder Women of the year!!! Here I was feeling tired from painting the bathroom ! It is a beautiful blue from Lowes called Clear Blue Sky, and it is like a clear spring sky, I a..."
Loa, I agree with you about Jina being 'a wonder woman'. I feel so lazy when I read what everyone is busy with as I cann't seem to get motivated to do anything but the basic household chores & read at the moment. I really should be preparing our paperwork for the Accountant/Taxman, gardening & 'spring' cleaning but the weather here is so wet, cold & dismal here most days at the moment it doesn't inspire me to do anything. If anyone has time or is looking for something to read at the moment, I'm reading Melissa Foster's Love in Bloom Series and really enjoying it. The series starts with the Snow Sisters, follwed by The Bradens & The Remmingtons. Bye for now, must go & get something done as the sun is shining at the moment.

[[deleted user]]

Lesley, I can identify with you. I can't wait to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Even reading isn't helping. The only thing that helps is coloring. I did cook one of Ray's favorite things last night, at his request. My mac & cheese is legendary...LOL.

Today I need to turn my apathy around. Clean something. Work on a clinic project. Feel useful.

I'm set to read a couple of "dark" ARCs over the next few days so I'm offsetting that with reruns of my favorite series, Supernatural.

What's everyone else reading? And what should we read next as a group?? I welcome your ideas!!

[Jina]

Paula wrote: "Lesley, I can identify with you. I can't wait to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Even reading isn't helping. The only thing that helps is coloring. I did cook one of Ray's favorite th..."

Dear Paula,
I hope you have a special day today! :) (smiles and winks conspiratorially) I posted an idea about what to read next on April 2 in this section. Its on page 21. It was just an idea. Or I had another idea... each of us could nominate a book we think the group would like and you could put all book names in a hat and draw one for us to read.
I have new news. My husband Michael told me last night he is going to try to send the girls and I home for a visit this summer! I haven't been home for nearly 10 years. I miss my family and so I really hope this works. I plan to drive since it will take too much money to fly 4 of us but I would appreciate prayers that this works and I can see my family again.
I hope everyone is doing great! I need to get ready for the our appointment with Miss Caroline. I will check back with yall later.
Hugs,
Jina

[Jina]

Paula wrote: "Lesley, I can identify with you. I can't wait to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Even reading isn't helping. The only thing that helps is coloring. I did cook one of Ray's favorite th..."

Dear Paula,
Who are you more attracted to, Dean or Sam? I think Dean is a hottie. As one of my bff's would say "He melts my butter" Heather and Samantha like Sam best though.
:)
Jina

[Lola]

I loved The Pink Magnolia Club written By Emily's alter- ego lol Geralyn Dawson. I read it before I knew they were one and the same person. Maybe we could give it a try. Hugs Lola

[Lola]

OK Jina Who are Dean and Sam ? I must have missed something! No ones melted my butter in a long time !!!!! lol Hugs Lola

[Brandi]

Lola,

from the series Supernatural. They are demon hunting brothers.

[[deleted user]]

Sam is my guy. He rings my bells. He's an intellectual, passionate, conflicted character, just my type. Jared Padalecki is the muse for the hero in my novel. When I need alpha, caveman, powerful...Dean is my guy.

[[deleted user]]

I need to check out the Pink Magnolia Club! Thanks, Lola!

[Lola]

Thanks, I have never watched the show ,might have to check it out now ! :)
Hugs Lola

[Lola]

I checked them out on line. Me I go for the long hair every time, my Hubby has a ponytail ;) So I am with Paula, SAM !!!!

[[deleted user]]

Ladies, this conversation has been delightful. Right now I'm watching season 1, and Sam looks SO young! It's like watching the Hardy Boys after seeing season 11. I can't remember when another series has had me so intrigued, since the X-files, anyway....although Lucifer, with Tom Ellis, is melting my butter in the best possible way.

What's everyone reading this weekend? I have reviews to write, and then I need to dig into my next books - the review list is so long it's overwhelming. Next week, Ray and I have to go to WA, to put our house on the market after 8 years. We put it ON the market one week before the real estate crash ... and have been renting it out to help make ends meet since then. But now it's time. The renters are moving out, and if we can get out from under the mortgage and make some equity out of it -- life will be SO much easier for us.

Not to mention, we get a beautiful drive on the way, and are staying in Seattle, a favorite city.

What this means is I won't be able to post every day, but I will touch base as often as I can. We have a lot of work to do up there....

So....what are you reading this weekend? If you have new thoughts on Reunion Pass -- please add them to the thread -- I still have a book hangover from it, but knowing that Brick is going to get his story, I'm already excited for the next Eternity Springs adventure.

Fondly,
Paula

[Lola]

Hi Paula,
Right now I am re-listening to the series Hopes Crossing By RaeAnne Thayne . I have read this series a couple of times ,I love all her books. The reason I am rereading this time is she has another series ,Haven Point, that has some of the people from Hope's Crossing in it and I needed a refresher on the people.

I have most of the bathroom walls done. Just waiting for Wolf to get tired of fishing ,where he is today and ATV ing and do the patching on the drywall around the shower. You know how it is, now the trim which is a pale yellow does not look as good with the blue walls as I hoped it would, so I am painting all the cabinets and trim white. That is my weekend lol.

I was so bummed the other day we had a hard freeze and it killed 1/2 of my tomato plants in the greenhouse , I had the heater in there that probably help save the other ones that were towards the house. They were so pretty ,I planted the seeds indoors about mid Feb. and the plants were about a foot and 1/2 tall with lots of blooms. It looks like a couple are showing some growth at the base, I took a couple I had started for Jen and replace the ones with no green coming up. You would know it would be my Brandywine Tom . that it killed, my favorite sandwich tomato. I have been dreaming about that first bite of ,white bread with mayo and a thick slice of tomato, makes my moth water just thinking about it lol.

What are the rest of you up to? My old home town Houston, sure has been hit with a lot of rain, over 17 " in one day. I got an email from my Niece and all my Family there are ok. Praise the Lord !

Paula may your trip be peaceful and the sale be quick.
Love Ya! Lola

[Linda]

This week I am re-reading Angels Rest. I have recently decided to start working with polymer clay. I have an idea in my head to create a figurine of Celeste. At least what she looks like in my minds eye. I want to research how she is described in the Eternity Springs Series. I will make of list and go from there. I am bored with the things I have been doing lately and I really enjoy sculpting with polymer clay. The only problem is I have to find all of my tools within the multiple boxes stored in my garage and a few still in my friends garage. If it ever stops raining for any length of time on one of my days off, I will drive in town and search through my friends garage. It is packed with stuff and mine is in the very back so I have to move stuff out into the driveway to get to it and I don't want her stuff to get wet. Anyway that is what I have planned for my leasure time, lol. Hope you all are well and happy. I will check in later on. I have to work today 4pm to 9:30pm. I am not getting a lot of hours but I am thankful for what I have.
Have a great day everyone. Peace be with you.
Linda Manthey

[Lola]

Hi Linda ,
I use to work with polymer clay , it was a lot of fun. You will have to post a photo when you are done. Hugs Lola

[Jina]

Dear Group,
We went to a wedding today and it was wonderful. I even got to dance with my hubby, which we haven't had a chance to do for at least 8 years. Plus Heather got up from her wheelchair and danced with her Daddy. There wasnt a dry eye in the crowd when Michael walked her back to her chair when she got tired. (For those of you that have me as a friend on Facebook, I posted pictures and a video of the dance that started with me and my hubby and ended with Heather and her Daddy. I hope everyone else had a great day and as much to be thankful for as I do. Love y'all
Jina

[Melinda]

Glad to hear what you are all doing. I am scanning family history information such as pictures, birth certificates so there is a electric record for everyone. It takes a while. I am almost done Reunion
Pass.

[Lesley]

Melinda wrote: "Glad to hear what you are all doing. I am scanning family history information such as pictures, birth certificates so there is a electric record for everyone. It takes a while. I am almost done Reu..."
Melinda, I'm in the process of doing this as well. I agree it is time consuming but enjoyable. I don't know about you but I'm also finding it difficult to keep up with information on the current generations of the family as everyone is so spread out these days. Even with social media & diital photos it is remembering to download the info as you see it. Do you know where your family originate from?

[Lola]

Jina wrote: "Dear Group,
We went to a wedding today and it was wonderful. I even got to dance with my hubby, which we haven't had a chance to do for at least 8 years. Plus Heather got up from her wheelchair and..."

Dear Jina ,

What fun! I bet the tissues were flying out of the box ! I am rereading Woodrose Mountain By RaeAnne Thayne, if you haven't read it, it is about a physical therapist who lost her adopted Daughter with disabilities , she couldn't stand do the work after that and became a beader. She now has been guilted into helping a friends grand daughter who has brain injuries from a car wreck . So, I am reading about what you go through everyday, one step forward and two steps back. You really are my Wonder Woman! Love and Big Hugs Lola

[Lola]

Melinda wrote: "Glad to hear what you are all doing. I am scanning family history information such as pictures, birth certificates so there is a electric record for everyone. It takes a while. I am almost done Reu..."

Hi Melinda,

I just had my wellness exam and my Dr. ask if I had any American Indian in my Family. My great Grandmother was a full bloodied
Choctaw Indian. She said American Indians have a gene that make their bones stronger , so she told me not to take Calcium. Strange how our ancestors ,still affect us. Hugs Lola

[Jina]

Lola wrote: "Jina wrote: "Dear Group,
We went to a wedding today and it was wonderful. I even got to dance with my hubby, which we haven't had a chance to do for at least 8 years. Plus Heather got up from her w..."

Dear Lola,
I have been wanting to read the RaeAnne Thayne books but can never find them at used book stores. With my reading habit as bad as it is I have to get most books on amazon or thrift stores. But every dollar is worth it on a good book.
Yep I know too well about "one step forward two steps back". Heather will go through a phase where she makes such good progress and is as well as can be expected then inevitably she gets sick again, has a grand mal seizure or starts "brain storming" to the point she goes to the hospital (worst case scenario) or we have to give her sedatives and we take turns sitting with her rubbing her hand or head and praying for her to have a restful sleep so her brain and body can heal. The worst is when its been a few weeks since a bad spell so you drop your guard and think "maybe the worst is over" then quick as a hiccup the ambulance is on its way to my house again. When we first moved here after Heathers heart attack, we got this house to be closer to the hospital, we weren't here a week and the ambulance came because she fainted on the toilet and stopped breathing. I was shocked that at 11 oclock at night, people were driving by and even worse a neighbor with a scanner came in his pickup behind the ambulance and cop car, came in my house to see "what was up with the new neighbors". I was glad the cop told him to leave so he and his vehicle wouldn't be in the way. He wasnt here to help, he was here to be nosy. It takes all kinds. You learn to celebrate all the baby steps and tasks she relearns, thank God for each day you get through and pray to be blessed with another. But you never really relax anymore, you sleep with one eye open and ears alert. I am so used to making rounds to make sure the kids are breathing that I get up every 2 hours like clockwork. My Mom says she doesnt know how I do it. I tell her, you just do what needs to be done. They're your babies no matter how old they are so you do it and hope that each day you are a better Mom than you were the day before. But I must say that in many ways I am blessed with something most parents dont get to go through. Each milestone we conquer, we truly "party like rock stars" in our hearts and we get so much joy through the little things that a lot of people have forgotten that kind of joy since their baby said its first word or took its first steps. We dont take much for granted anymore. I will have to get that book you mentioned. Take care. Hugs to you.
Love you,
Jina

[Melinda]

Lola wrote: "Melinda wrote: "Glad to hear what you are all doing. I am scanning family history information such as pictures, birth certificates so there is a electric record for everyone. It takes a while. I am..."

Lola,
That is so true.

[Melinda]

Jina wrote: "Lola wrote: "Jina wrote: "Dear Group,
We went to a wedding today and it was wonderful. I even got to dance with my hubby, which we haven't had a chance to do for at least 8 years. Plus Heather got ..."

Jina,
GOD uses you and the girls to remind us the little steps are important and are suppose to be celebrated. My Mom , Dad and I love to sit on the screened in porch and listen to the birds and squirrels. We need to slow down and appreciate every minute.

[[deleted user]]

Hi everyone,

As I type the we are heading north on Hwy 101 toward Oregon on our way to Seattle. The views of the coastline are amazing. We will be in Seattle late tonight, then meeting with realtors to put our house on the market up there. I'm messaging before we get into the boonies and out of cell phone range! Will check in as soon as I can. Blessings to all.
Paula

[Kay]

Paula, I love Seattle area. I would move up there in a second if I could. Enjoy the beautiful country up there.

[Linda]

Paula,
Welcome to the Pacific Northwest. I'm sure you won't get this far north, but I hope you have a wonderful visit to the area ,even if it is for business. You should go to The Fisherman restaurnt near Pikes Market and enjoy a great seafood dinner while you are here. It's one of my favorites and the view is magnificent. The Viaduct is set for closure on the 29th so try to avoid that area if you are still here then. Hoping you have many offers on your house and close quickly.
Hugs and prayers
Linda Manthey

[Lola]

I love the drive on Hwy 101,so beautiful. My first view of the Pacific was from there, we drove the whole Hwy. Man, Seattle has some steep streets ,I remember trying to walk up one and after a block and a half I gave up. I loved going to Chinatown there,like taking a trip to the Orient. Have fun Paula! Hugs Lola

[Lola]

Have any of you read any books by Carolyn Brown, I got one of her books in the ratings we did. I love her style , Southern and funny. I have already bought 3 more of her books. Hugs Lola

[Jina]

Dear group,
I hope all of you are well and happy. I am trying to calm myself after a hard 24 hours. I have a feeling that even though I am weary down to my bones, sleep wont find me tonight. Heather had a spell last night. A very bad one and please dear God forgive me but for a few minutes I thought she was gone home to Him. She was so gray in her face and eyes open but not focusing. It took 30 minutes to get her color back and responding to commands to take deep breaths, look at me, squeeze my hand etc... I swear I was so scared. We got home from the emergency room a couple hours ago after several tests, it took 2 hours to start an IV line and get some blood from her. They kept popping veins so they had to do an ultrasound and use a infant needle to get some blood. They did a catheter to get a urinalysis done and 3 EKG's. Final diagnosis after 21 hours was "Altered Level of Consciousness". She had a temperature of 99.1 on the inside of her cheek since she doesn't open her mouth well enough to do under the tongue. I didnt know they changed regulations but did you all know its not a fever until the temperature is 100.4? I didn't. And considering that the girls and my normal temperature is around 97.4 , when my girls have a 99 temp thats high for them and I and we dont feel well by then. They sent us home with instructions for her to take it easy and come back if she has another spell. She has good color now and talks a little and giggles while watching "French Kiss" with Meg Ryan. She likes the parts about "Bob like Bob Dylan" and when Kevin Kline tells Meg Ryan not to break the car, and when Meg Ryan gets lactose intolerant... and when she says "beautiful... wish you were here". I love hearing that child laugh. She lifts me up. But when I close my eyes, I cant help but see her like last night, grey face, hardly breathing... So I am going to get off here and try to read awhile. Get lost in a book until I go to sleep. Hopefully no dreams will come.
Love you. See you when the sun comes out again.
Jina

[Linda]

Jina wrote: "Dear group,
I hope all of you are well and happy. I am trying to calm myself after a hard 24 hours. I have a feeling that even though I am weary down to my bones, sleep wont find me toni

Oh Jina,
I am so sorry to hear about Heather's episode last night. I want you to know I am lifting your family up in prayer and asking friends to pray as well. I can not imagine the terrror of such an event. God be with you and give you strength and peace. I pray you will get the rest you need tonight. May you find comfort in knowing your friends care for you all and are praying for things to improve rapidly.
God's peace be with you
Hugs and prayers
Linda Manthey

[Linda]

I have had two wonderful days off. I have been playing with polymer clay and it is very relaxing for me . It has been a long time since I have made a sculpture so I am a bit rusty. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time reintroducing my self to this craft.
I attempted to create a likeness of Celeste Blessing. It is not really what I see in my minds eye, but I will try again and improve as I hone my skills. Trial and error I suppose. lol
I haven't done any reading the past couple of days. I have a book I have read four times but each time it is so enthralling that I am consumed by it. It is called "The Shack" by Paul M. Young, It is very intense at the beginnig though. It is not a romance. I think I am going to revisit it again. I always come away enlightened and uplifted. It's about the brutal loss of a child and a father's struggle to find answers and healing.
I go back to work tomorrow so I will read on the bus and during my lunch break. Have a good night everyone.
Peace be with you
Linda Manthey

[[deleted user]]

Oh, Jina...I'm so sorry. I know you were terrified. Actually, I knew that 100.6 was the threshold for fever -- and I've always disagreed with it because of the lack of consideration for the patient's baseline. It seems arbitrary to me. I so hope she's better today. The one thing I know as an RN is that sometimes these events reveal an underlying problem, like an infection. So it may manifest itself in the next 24 hours. I hope you'll have a restful night and pray that Heather will be better very soon. xo

[Lola]

Dear Jina,

I too send you and the girls all my prayers and good wishes. Give Heather a big hug and tell her it came all the way from Montana! Jen and Bill made it back safe from Az. last night. Jen had to go and get her Inheritance from Wolf's Mom. She still may have to go back down there ,the will is still in litigation . The savings account was in Jen's name, so for that she only needed a POD .

We have been having the crappiest weather the last week, cold , cloudy and windy, so no working outside or finishing painting the bathroom with no venting with open windows.

Oh well time to read ! Hugs Lola

[[deleted user]]

Hello, everyone -- it's been a long, long week - but the trip was fantastic. As usual, we pushed ourselves to the limit, trying to do and see everything possible in just a few short days. We are exhausted, but I have some wonderful pictures to share on Facebook for those of you who use it. It was a wonderful getaway with my husband, but now of course - reality BITES! I'm back to work --- and we need to get rolling on our next read....TBA!

I hope you have all had a restful, peaceful weekend. Jina had a birthday, and I was a day late (it was April 30th) - so please message her your greetings and well-wishes. Perhaps we should start a birthday list??!! What are your thoughts?

[Jina]

Dear Group,
I want to thank you all for all the wonderful birthday wishes! It makes me feel so blessed and thankful for this group and the caring friends that I have made since joining this fantastic group of women. My birthday was.... interesting. My husband had to work but there was a Veteran's benefit for motorcycle riders going on. My dear friend Todd Doss organized it so we wanted to support his cause. He is very close to Heather and drives an hour and a half from his home several times to check on her and give us his love and support. Three of our biker friends met up with me first thing Saturday morning to go. They had their motorcycles and I drove the mercury sable that my Mom and Dad gave my daughters so we could have a second car. I followed my friends to Goldsboro where the benefit was starting. It was really the first time driving alone in a long time that I was alone and going somewhere without the kids. I was okay for awhile but I got real shaky and anxious the farther away I got from Heather. By the time I got to the benefit I was bawling and shaking and I pretty much lost it with a full breakdown. I got out of my car and was walking to the building to use the restroom and I ran into Todd. I told him what had happened to Heather Tuesday (I told yall about it earlier). I told him that I didn't feel right being that far away from her so soon after such a bad spell and that I was going to get cleaned up and head back home. I gave him our donation and he gave me one of his big bear hugs and told me that by all means go take care of my baby girl. I got back to my car and was getting ready to leave and my friend Chris (Pegleg- is his biker nickname because he has a limp) and Beverly (one of my best friends, came up to my car and was asking where was I going and what was wrong. I told them the same thing and that I just cant be away from Heather so soon after such a bad spell. I was shaking so bad they wouldn't let me drive myself home. I didn't want or mean for Beverly to miss out on the day she had planned with her husband (she got married to "Toothpick" the Saturday before). Anyhow, she drove me back to Greenville and calmed me down. Once I got back to Greenville I felt a little better and she had called the girls on her cellphone to check and make sure they were all ok. I got home and hugged Heather and asked her how she was doing. She said "fine Mama" and gave me a thumbs up. I was still shakey but glad to be home. Then I called my friend Cindy who is Peglegs wife and asked "Can I have Chy over to play with the girls since its my birfday?" So I went and picked up my Chy. She's a 15 year old girl who is best friends with Sarah and Heather and she just lights up the whole house with her attitude and support. So we had fun playing the Wii and she taught Heather some exercises to help her legs get stronger and arms get stronger. We watched movies and had fun. I hated that I broke down but I think everyone understood that I needed to be home although Beverly and Cindy both say I need a vacation away from worry and stress. Cindy said she wants me to make an appointment for myself with Miss Caroline, preferrably sooner than later or I am going to "go postal" lol.
Anyway, that was my birthday. I hated that I lost it but I couldn't help it. This hasnt happened to me before.
So thank you for your support and birthday wishes. It means a lot to me.
Love to all,
Jina

[Jina]

Paula wrote: "Hello, everyone -- it's been a long, long week - but the trip was fantastic. As usual, we pushed ourselves to the limit, trying to do and see everything possible in just a few short days. We are ex..."

Dear Paula,
I am so glad you and your husband had a wonderful trip. I have enjoyed looking at your pictures you posted so far. It is a beautuful area even though the closest I got to that area is trips to Yellowstone and to relatives in Kingman Arizona. A birthday list is a great idea. Plus I was wondering if any new songs were added to the playlist lately. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Late doesnt matter I am just so blessed to be remembered.
Love you,
Jina

[Lesley]

Jina wrote: "Dear Group,
I want to thank you all for all the wonderful birthday wishes! It makes me feel so blessed and thankful for this group and the caring friends that I have made since joining this fantast..."
Belated Happy birthday wishes Jina.

[Melinda]

Belated Happy Birthday Jina

[Melinda]

Jina wrote: "Dear Group,
I want to thank you all for all the wonderful birthday wishes! It makes me feel so blessed and thankful for this group and the caring friends that I have made since joining this fantast..."

I agree with your friend, Jina. You need some decompression time so that you can carry on. Know you and the girls are in my prayers.

[[deleted user]]

Jina wrote: "Paula wrote: "Hello, everyone -- it's been a long, long week - but the trip was fantastic. As usual, we pushed ourselves to the limit, trying to do and see everything possible in just a few short d..."

Hi, Jina - I know your birthday was difficult for you, and I'm not surprised you had an anxiety attack, either. I had something similar happen a few weekends ago, although it happened at home. It was a complete grief meltdown, triggered by a death scene in a book I was reading. Honestly, I think it scared my husband. I'm an emotional person, but I tend to keep things in and just "soldier on" -- until a trigger lets it loose. It sounds like you have been holding back your fear and it got the best of you, which is perfectly understandable. The thing you HAVE to remember is that there is a reason the flight crew tells you to put your own oxygen mask on first, before you try to help your children...you can't help them if you can't breathe. You can't be there for them if you neglect yourself - and it's far too easy to do that. The trip to WA with Ray reinforced my priorities - but it's still a daily struggle, and mine is NOTHING compared to yours, or many of the others in this group.

I haven't added any new songs recently - and we should! I've added one song to my own writing playlist. It's an old remastered version of Storms, by Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks. It's very soulful and it spoke to me. I think of Lori, now that I consider it -- the song fits her perfectly. I'll add it now -- see if you agree!