Week 267 (June 28-July 4). Poems. Topic: Paradigm Shift

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You have until the 4th of July to post a poem, and July 5 to 7, we’ll vote for which one we thought was best.

Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don’t use a poem previously used in this group.

Your poem can be any length.

This week’s topic is: Paradigm Shift

The rules are pretty loose. You could write a poem about anything that has to do with the subject but it must relate to the topic somehow.

Have fun!

Thanks to Melissa for suggesting the topic!

[Ryan]

Thank you for all your hard work, Leslie :)

[Angel]

Life or Some Facsimile of It

Why do you make me bleed, make me cry, drink me in with the tide?
Can I just breathe for a while let everything subside?
I know you’re not fair
I know you don’t care
I’m not trying to hide from you
I’m not asking for any proof
I know you’ve been just as aloof as you’ve always been
I’ve been in pursuit of you for a lifetime
Maybe this is the penalty for my crime
Not realizing this in time what I’d been chasing, struggling to find and embrace all along
It’s not the pursuit of happiness but, the pursuit of life that is my song, my story
This is the glory
Life is happiness
Fleeting though it may be
It was always there
Flying free
It was always there inside of me
I never had to catch up to it, or capture it within my grasp
It was trying to hang onto me, holding the clasp by a thread
I was never in pursuit of it
It’s the other way around
I was the one who’d fled
I was the one who left town
Because of my dreadful doubts
I’d been all confused
I had abandoned you
You didn’t abandon me
I’d left you in the dark, where I no longer sensed your spark
I’m sorry I could not see what I had done
I had put you under the threat of the gun
I was done
I was pulling the trigger
I felt like I’d been through the ringer
Too many times to count
I just wanted out
I was punishing you
And I had no right
Maybe it’s not that you’re being unfair
Maybe you’re being indifferent
I should’ve known the difference
(Now I know)
It’s me who wasn’t fair
Me who didn’t care
I should’ve been indifferent
Learned from you
But, I have now
I’ve learned the truth
I didn’t mean to turn on you so quickly
I didn’t mean to burn you out
Blow you away
Life is happiness
Or some facsimile of it
Either way I want more of it.

[Edward]

Title : Nobody’s Perfect
Poet : Edward Davies

Some people think the perfect man
Has muscles that can ripple
Is able to cut solid glass
With but a single nipple
Can bench press near one thousand pounds
And barely break a sweat
And still possess a chiselled jaw
And nary a regret

Some people think the ideal girl
Is one whose waist does taper
With breasts that never sag at all
And breath like minty vapour
Whose lips are full and kissable
With bottom tight and perky
And features most symmetrical
And never ever quirky

But now we have a shifting view,
An ideal form distortion,
A woman can be beautiful
And not be in proportion
A man can still be handsome if
His jaw line isn’t square
And if he hasn’t perfect abs
Well, some folk wouldn’t care

So just ignore popular views
And stick with what you like
Even if they’re an elephant
Or on a hunger strike
Beauty is in the eye of those
Who look at what they see
And that can be quite different
We’ll often disagree.

[Julie]

From Julie:

Here is my version of a paradigm shift,
Socratic questions if you get my drift!
Why did God make the Universe elliptical?
To make an Aussie football, not spherical,
Why did God make football? See here,
To make men miserable, my dears!
Why did God make beer?
To make men happy, my dears!
So, some intelligent chappies here,
Taking beer to the football, no fears,
Now they're miserable and happy dears!

[Rachel]

This is not one of my bests but I got the idea and I decided to take the chance and post it on here. I hope you enjoy it! :)

My Universe

It’s quiet
There are no sounds where I am,
buried deep in the Earth.
I don’t know how I got here.
I have no desire to know.

Time must pass.
How much, I do not know.
Time means nothing to me.

I expand in the Earth,
trying to find something.
I probe the soil around me,
but there is nothing new.

The soil, the earth,
it is my universe.
Nothing exists outside of it.

I do not know the meaning of me.
I do not care.
I have my universe.
I need nothing more.

I must have grown.
I don’t care how much,
not when my universe is changing.

The soil becomes softer.
I can expand further!
I do not know what this change means.

I come out of the soil
to something new,
something lighter.

Something warm,
yet pleasant
washes over me.

To think something so amazing
lies just beyond my soil.
I could have never imagined this.

I unfurl my leaves
and for the first time
I begin to breathe.

[Joci]

My lack of some fine vocabulary does not allow me to always go the way I wanted... hope you get it. FB welcomed.

this long paradigm shift

We have clung on to leading a commonly sucked life
Like criminals defacing walls in a once glamorous city
Maybe a long streaming wave enlivens its streets
in a quiet night where only the wind commands the flow of a non-living soul
Miles away an honest man has wounded himself,
In a wire of long steady stubbornness
Thousand more miles away a wave has crashed along some shore
And maybe a kid was born; a young adult may have died
We are light years away from that one-off tone
And have traveled ever since to a dot com dot-bubble era
An old black and white newspaper article
Takes me back to those years, at my grandparent's door
with my cousins and I listening carefully
To that wolf story that used to fill our nights
Before this long paradigm shift
that has become more like silent nights filled with the light of a screen
and maybe, just maybe, behind it someone tells us stories
of how it used to be to escape from war, to be in a queue for an orange... maybe...
Just maybe...

JL. 01/07/2015

[Ryan]

Beautiful, Angel! Your poem is a roller coaster ride of emotions, delivered with a musical flow. I think your last three lines are beyond fantastic - the use of facsimile, in particular - wow!

[Ryan]

Edward - man, you nailed it! Your rhyme and meter is just so good to read and your wit is as sharp as razors. For someone who frequently discounts himself as a poet, you're killing it, mate. I love everything about your poem - the humour, the rhyme and, most of all, the thoughtful, genuine sentiment behind it all. Hats off :)

[Ryan]

Julie - you obviously attended the same wit-honing class as Edward. I love your unique take on the topic. You had me grinning from start to finish. I think our Aussie footballs are the perfect shape, so I'm not sure what that says about me ;) This is a very clever, very tight poem and I enjoyed it completely.

[Ryan]

Rachel - wow! I'm glad you took the chance, your poem is stunning. The quiet, eternal quality of your beginning drew me straight in. I was lying there in the soil with you. I think your pace is excellent and your length is perfect - you say exactly what needs to be said. I LOVE those last three lines. As I read them, I transformed from a seed into a tree...but, more importantly, into a life that has broken free and taken that first breath of air. I don't know if I explained that very well - with those last three lines you really personalized the whole poem for me. The feeling was magical. So well done.

[Ryan]

You just left me breathless, Joci. Your idea is portrayed so strongly and clearly in such a clever way. The shift brought on by technology and an ever-shrinking world where we become immune to so much that would rock our forebears to the core. Miracles happening everywhere while we remain mostly oblivious and disconnected it is something I think about often but could never have described it as vibrantly as what you've achieved here. Your writing is beautiful and going from strength to strength.

[Ryan]

I'm almost scared to post my poem after having just read the 5 poems above. I can honestly say that each one is right up there with the best I've read on this site. What an amazing week so far!

Of Paradigms and Palindromes

I'm not an iceblock. I'm not a teardrop,
mooching around your Long Island Iced Tea.
I'm not chasing dreams, dreaming of Jeannie;
I'm not slowing for one more whistle stop.
I've never bridged sighs, I don't island hop;
I've not tasted the free airs of Heaney,
nor held a heart that, like some Houdini,
didn't vanish with a barbaric yawp.
I have set no flame in a lover's hearth
that didn't burn the whole shantytown down.
By night, I am king; in morning, uncrowned -
I walk in as Luke and storm out as Darth.
Rivers are rivers, regardless of flow:
O, stone, be not so; O, stone, be not so.

~ R ~

any feedback welcome

[Connie]

Regardless of the "contest" my hope is that this one will help people understand each other better, or perhaps men understand women better, or maybe, just maybe, it will help my poor confused husband to understand me better!

TODAY

Today you are too loud.
Yesterday you were excited and funny.

Today you are too messy.
Yesterday you were casual and relaxed.

Today you are too hyper.
Yesterday you had useful and appreciated energy.

Today you are too touchy.
Yesterday you were affectionate.

Today you smell bad.
Yesterday you had peanut butter breath and I got hungry.

Today you are exasperating.
Yesterday you had faults that were workable.

Today you are my enemy.
Yesterday you were my best friend.

(Because)

Yesterday I drank blended fruits and veggies from the blender.
Today I could barely eat toast.

Yesterday my muscles felt strong when I ran.
Today they feel as though they will barely support me.

Yesterday the sky was blue and the sun delightful.
Today, even in a cloudy sky, the sun hurts my eyes.

Yesterday I planned a bunch of fun future activities.
Today I’m annoyed at the very thought of you asking me to do something.

Yesterday my head was filled with happy thoughts and ideas.
Today it is pounding so hard my they won’t stay together.

TODAY

I AM GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP REMINDING ME WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY.

[Joci]

Ryan wrote: "You just left me breathless, Joci. Your idea is portrayed so strongly and clearly in such a clever way. The shift brought on by technology and an ever-shrinking world where we become immune to so m..."

Hi, Ryan! And you have left me speechless :D Thank you so much for your continuous support and for the so so nice feedback (all of them are) :) I'll humbly try to reciprocate that:

Well, I think you have gained the taste for sonnets and you definitely should try more of that. It just fits you so well! This is a cheerful, quite dubious and stunning sonnet. What stands out for me the most are the last two lines, not only because of the "stone" element ( :) ) but also because of its lyrical joy; with those two lines you took me to the Portuguese medieval poetry. You may google for "cantigas de amigo", do not know if there is an equivalent for that in English. After the psalms, they were my first contact with poetry and I just love them.

[Ryan]

Thank you, Joci - wonderful feedback, indeed :) That's my favourite part of the comp. enjoy your day!

[Ryan]

Hi, Connie. The form you've written in works brilliantly with your content. I really enjoy the play between the lines of individual couplets and then between the first and second halves of the poem. The contrast is heartbreaking. I instantly related to your idea, your thought and the way it was expressed - it feels so genuine and heartfelt. Just beautiful.

[Neal]

I read a quote earlier today and this poem sort of popped into my head...
“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

I'll admit, this poem is not very good or even clever... I just wanted to flex my brain muscle a little; for me some things, like thinking, will never change.


A Game of Cards and the Paradigm Shift

Willingness to gamble?
Has life become so guff?
King, Queen, Jack, Ace, suited.
A call, fold, raise, bluff...
A new draw makes its rounds;
The fifth is always rough.
Opting for the new card.
Does he have the right stuff?
Desperate from behind.
Within a voice so gruff,
"All in", then a deep stack.
Facing the truth is tough;
Another losing hand.
Life will not hold your cards,
Just a pair on the cuff.
Playing Life at a game,
Will trap those dumb enough.

[Guy]

Coming Out of the Dark
       by Guy Duperreault (FB&C welcomed)

In the dark — it wasn’t night or black
I looked into where I was moving towards,
I looked for, strained to see,
a glimmer or flicker of light.
There was none.

I walked for a long time, though.
(It felt like a long time. To me, a para-eternity,
a sidewise shift away from a meaning of time.)
Mostly I trusted— sometimes I trusted
my feet and legs to get me to when I was there,
that somewhere, a para-here to become when I was then.
I could not tell securely, but the dark had shifted
into a vaguely discernible dimension,
a para-dim that confused my language,
even as I began to think I could see the spelling
on the wall.
I was relieved.

Now that I was sure that I could see the words,
even if through a vision darkly,
my feet began,
for the first time,
to trip against the rocks on the walk,
stumbling para-blind,
now that I thought I could see. Something.

[Guy]

Thank you Leslie for putting this together! :-)

[Joci]

Yes, indeed! Thanks Leslie for the hard hard work which is clear to see the last two months :)

Btw, I do not know where to put this, but I've been thinking for a while: Ever since I'm active in this group I think one of those three people should be given the chance to mod, namely: Melissa, Edward or Connie. Not sure if I should say that, specially because I'm still new here, but it would help a lot... :)

[Jim]

New one, but not quite sure it fits... open to critique and all sorts of feedback. Thanks, guys!

-o-

Fragment


I can't imagine many people like being told
they're ugly.

No. In fact I can't think of anyone.

So why did you tell me that?

I thought quite the opposite of you.
But you're probably tired of hearing
"You're beautiful" from a stranger.

Is that so?

She was about to say
something to make him leave
her alone, walk away with regret
when she recognized a scent.

Her eyes took on a dull
glint, like a copper coin
in a sweaty palm.

What is it?

Diesel. You smell of diesel.

The sky shifted above them,
changed from looking like soft fists
into ragged bits of rope.

I could start over, she said
to herself. Start something
new with this stranger.

He was already lost
before she said
the next word.

-o-

[Edward]

Jocilene wrote: "Yes, indeed! Thanks Leslie for the hard hard work which is clear to see the last two months :)

Btw, I do not know where to put this, but I've been thinking for a while: Ever since I'm active in t..."

Thanks for the vote of confidence Jocilene (assuming you didn't mean the other Edward!), but I only joined in December so probably not been here long enough. :)

[Guy]

Another great and diverse anthology on a theme! Thank you everyone for your creative contributions. I have stolen some minutes to comment.

Life or Some Facsimile of It by Angel. I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the theme. To become self aware is perhaps the hardest thing to do on the planet. Delusion knows no limits and is always the other person’s problem. Until we realize that we are our own enemies. Your play with the ideas and meter all expressed this paradigm shift delightfully.

Nobody’s Perfect by Edward D. made me smile. A playful play on the having been lost in the superficial truths and moving towards resting in what is important.

Untitled by Julie. Pure fun, perfectly expressed. And it epitomizes joyfully the life conundrum that opposites are complementary.

My Universe by Rachel is a poem after my heart! Extremely philosophical and playfully existential. Thank you for sharing this Rachel. Are you open to a couple of small tweaks? If not, stop reading. I suggest changing the first line in the second stanza, to ‘Time passes.’ Or, alternatively ‘Time has passed’ (but I do not like that as much).

And for the first line in the third stanza, I love the feel of ‘I expand into the earth,’ rather than ‘… in the earth.’

this long paradigm shift by Jocilene took my breath away! Wow! I really don’t have anything else to say. So perfectly expressed and engaging. Lovely and delightful.

Of Paradigms and Palindromes by Ryan. Great to see another sonnet from you! I love the ambiguity of this, the narrator’s struggle with being. I echo Jocilene’s observation, the last two lines finish your sonnet perfectly.

Today by Connie complements and broadens the conundrum of the complementary nature of opposites! And the mercurial nature of the nature of being a human in a world of humans. And I loved the ambiguity of the closing line. Does this mean that the narrator his/her-self cannot remember properly from day-to-day? Or is the narrator deferring the integrity of his/her perception to the object?

A Game of Cards and the Paradigm Shift by Neal. The innocence of this poems’ sentiment couched within the ‘evil’ gambling creates a nice tension and contrast. I enjoyed reading it.

Fragment by Jim made me smile. A new fangled pick-up line?! And for some reason, a nonsensical reason surely. I thought of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. isn’t that bizarre. As always, Jim, engaging, challenging and enlightening.

[Jim]

Thanks, Guy! I'm still fiddling with that poem's structure and switching the italics around, along with indentations I am unable to include here.

[Joci]

Edward wrote: "Jocilene wrote: "Yes, indeed! Thanks Leslie for the hard hard work which is clear to see the last two months :)

Yes Edward, I was referring to you :) You welcome. So you are just like me - eager to see next week topic's. :) :)

[Joci]

Thank you, Guy :)

[Edward]

Jocilene wrote: "Edward wrote: "Jocilene wrote: "Yes, indeed! Thanks Leslie for the hard hard work which is clear to see the last two months :)

Yes Edward, I was referring to you :) You welcome. So you are just l..."

Already working on a story - my poems done! :-) Had a look-see - I only joined less than a month before you! :D

[Connie]

Hello All,

I've been so busy with outdoor activities I've not had much time for writing or commenting. Though the week is over and voting commenced I just wanted to say I thought that all the poems on this topic were though provoking, elegant and heart felt. Good Job Everyone!

[Connie]

Ryan wrote: "Hi, Connie. The form you've written in works brilliantly with your content. I really enjoy the play between the lines of individual couplets and then between the first and second halves of the poem..."

Thanks Ryan & Guy,

I always appreciate feedback even though sometimes I forget to indicate that it is welcome.

RYAN, Most of my poetry is written in response to an emotionally charged event so I'm glad it comes across as heartfelt and genuine, as opposed to self pitying or angry.

GUY, As to the ambiguity of the last line.... sometimes even the author isn't sure.