Changing Moons discussion
Constructive Criticism
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I like it! But what you need to do is give your charrie some adittude. Give him a hobby. Tell us if he has a gf. Explain his life using a chapter. Me and my friend are writing a book. Btw other than that I have not cons to that draft
"Changing Moons" make it sound like its about Werewolves, is it? I FRICKIN <3 werewolves.
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I read the intro. It was pretty good. Although, I find it gets a bit boring. If you could make just a tad bit more interesting at the beginning that would be awesome. Cuz the way you started off, well, it didnt grab my attention. As a writer you must grab your readers attention from the very first line.
Love the first paragraph!!Its really intriguing! Only problem with your intro is that the paragraph after your first starts off with 'Hi my name is Coty'. You begin with something so awesome and then you go that. That makes a really weird transition and your transition isnt good at all.That line starting off your second paragraph should go with the flow of your first. Its really random how you just went from being deep and intriguing to what the hell just happened. That line beginning your second paragrapgh isnt good.
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I wrote a whole paragraph telling you to disown that sentence completely. 'Hi my name is Coty'. It ruins your first paragraph. You need to change it and make sure it goes with the flow and isnt random.
I suggest making a copyright. The story's intriguing but I feel like it lacks description. When I read it the plot was good but put more explanation into each scenario
Love you <3
Love you <3
Thanks