Almost Fearless: Monthly Travel Book Club discussion
This topic is about
Wild
Books We're Reading
>
If "Wild" was written by a guy...
date
newest »
newest »
From the male perspective:1 - I didn't find it whiny at all. Broken home, grew up rather 'wild' if you ask me. Everyone deals with grief differently.
2 - I think it is safest for everyone to hike in at least pairs. But there were a lot of people on the trail with her, and she camped with or near them on many nights. Besides, given her motives, walking all day and talking with others would have been counterproductive.
3 - Sex. It's human nature, get over it.
4 - Drugs. *yawn*
I think that our *perception* of gender roles has a lot to do with the feedback. I'd wager that some of the most negative comments came from women.
If a guy wrote this book, the following would have shifted. First, the grief would have been much more subdued, or buried. Second, we would have heard a lot more about gear, routing, geology, etc. Probably very little about fear or safety...
About reviews in general, I have some thoughts. :) I did a brief comparison. The top three reviewed books about hiking on Amazon that I could find (all over 1000 reviews) all had around 7% 1-star reviews. The next level down had around 3% 1-star reviews. (one book had none!) I think this indicates that if you don't like a book, you just don't like it but you aren't going to go out of your way to say anything about it. **UNLESS** everyone is gushing about it and it irks you that your viewpoint isn't being represented. THEN you go on Amazon and actually write a review.
I've probably done that myself, perhaps more so with movies. But yes, to some extent popularity brings out more negatives. Some are just being whiny, but many are genuinely flummoxed at the popularity. So just for kicks, I thought I would read through some of Wild's 1-stars voted 'most helpful'
The first one has issues with whininess, but also brings up a valid point - story arc. I will admit that I don't recall a unifying theme to the book, in retrospect. There is no 'lesson' learned, other than getting over her grief by doing something that takes her mind off of things...
Another review mentions self-indulgence. I think that's also valid. Cheryl's writing helps to overcome this, but I think people who have never experienced self-inflicted problems or grief have difficulty putting up with introspection in book form.
From the hiking perspective, I can understand the complaint that the book didn't really talk about the beauty of nature much. She does talk about the grind a lot, and the physical pain, but then she obviously did all her research about hiking at REI. OTOH, my first big hike was with a pack way too heavy filled with things I never used, so I get that. But Cheryl never talks about what she needed vs what she didn't, what she learned about gear and preparedness, etc. Hikers are a big contingent of her target readers and will likely be disappointed in this book.
I would venture to say that the popularity of WILD has led to some of these negative reviews like the ones you mention. Without that notoriety, I doubt many of the people complaining about Strayed's writing would have read the book. It is memoir, it is personal; that is the genre. To criticize Strayed for writing memoir is a bit like criticizing, say, Marge Piercy for writing poetry. The question of her story as "whine fest" plays back to last week (was it?) when Susan Shapiro wrote and essay for the NYT titled Make Me Worry You Are Not Okay. In it she described her technique for opening up her journalism students, having them write what she calls a humiliation essay, baring the soul for all to see. It sparked a week-long debate via Gawker, Salon, and the creative nonfiction folks over at Brevity. My take away from the whole kerfuffle: memoir is wonderful if you like reading memoirs and probably not if you don't like that sort of thing.
I picked up WILD when it first came out, and I did it because I grew up in Oregon and spent a good amount of time on the PCT. I was totally unprepared for her backstory, which mimicked mine so much it was frightening. Death and the feelings of abandonment can do funny things to our heads. Her serial sexual relations could have been mine.
I wrote her a letter after I finished that book and said as much. I was not the only one. I believe the popularity of the book stems from the universal tale she tells.
And, to get to your question, I think her response to grief is a more feminine response. If men did respond this way I'd say it would be accepted as typical male behavior. The drugs, maybe, but I still think Americans have a double standard regarding what men and women do around sex.
Hiking alone is always more dangerous than hiking with a partner. And there were times while reading that aspect of the book where I wanted to slap her for her naive responses to very dangerous situations.
There is no way I would ever compare Gilbert and Strayed! Both are writers and both wrote a popular book; that's about the extent of the similarities as far as I'm concerned. The writing in WILD is far and away more sophisticated and shows Strayed's formal writing education at Syracuse with Mary Karr. But I am one of the ones who complained bitterly about EAT PRAY LOVE being trite.
By the way, Strayed also explores the same material in a wonderful novel that was written before WILD. If you get a chance and enjoyed Strayed's voice, read TORCH. As Strayed said in an interview, every author explores certain topics throughout their writing career. Hers, she says, is loss.
Mod
Here's the link for anyone who wants to check it "Make Me Worry You’re Not O.K.": http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/...
I liked it, too, Christine, and spent far too much time on facebook groups arguing the merits/demerits of that post. One thing I learned, a lot of people type way faster than do. ;-)
Thanks for posting the link, Christine. I just read the article and couldn't agree more. As writers we need to be able to strip away the layers of protection most of us wear in public and write with gut-wrenching honesty ... it may take baby steps for some of us to get started. Strayed certainly gets full marks for accomplishing that. I have to admit I hit a few speed-read sections in WILD and, truly, did we really need to go through the horse-killing experience in such graphic detail? I didn't. Still, I'm glad I read her story.
I think it would have been a completely different book if written by a man. The focus would have been on the gear, the preparation, and the trail, not on the back story.I admit I was angry and frustrated with her for the choices she made at times, but it was her story, not mine.
As for is it dangerous for a woman to travel alone? I think in this case, yes it was. First, to me it sounds like hiking the PCT alone at all is dangerous, male or female. Second, that scene with the two male hunters scared the crap out of me. She could have very easily been assaulted there.
Finally, yes, I think some of the negativity in the reviews has to do with both her popularity (inevitable pushback on that) and gender. There's still a huge part of our culture which would have much more easily tolerated her choices (drug use, adultery, solo travel) from a man than from a woman.
I think the negativity has to do with these women moving outside traditional roles and then having the nerve to be very honest about their lives and emotions. I think Gilbert's and Strayed's lack of detachment is unnerving to some people. I remember going to see Eat Pray Love with a friend and hearing her call Gilbert a "bellyacher." To me comments like that just miss the point—the books are about the emotional journey as much as the physical journey. I do have to disagree with Sarah, though—Gilbert is a much better writer than Strayed. Her prose is supple and very assured.
A lot of people are discouraged from expressing their feelings within their own families, and they learn to stay mute on the subject of emotions. I know a lot of women like this, as well as men. I think that for these people, it's unbearable to hear another person open up. It's confronting, which makes them deeply uncomfortable. And their way of dealing with that is to scramble to shut down the other person and make them wrong. What always shocks me when I read negative reviews about memoirs is the fire that comes through in reviewer's voices. Why so ANGRY? It's just a book—somebody's life story—and nobody forced you to pick it up and finish it. Who cares how much sex this woman had?
Telling your life story is not easy; you make yourself extremely vulnerable. Speaking up often comes from a place of wanting to reach out to others and inspire them, shift them, move them, make them laugh or cry. You use the vehicle of your own story to take others on a journey—vicarious and emotional. Ultimately, I feel that's a gift that the writer gives to the reader. It won't resonate with everyone, but it comes from a generous place, not a self-indulgent one.
I believe the reviewers' anger comes from being confronted to their cores. Which means that even though people give her 1 star and a nasty review, it reached them deeply in some way. It shook up their world, but they don't want to acknowledge it because then they might have to reevaluate their lives and make changes, which is hard.
That's powerful stuff.
I'll never forget how, when I first posted my book trailer on FB, a distant relative of a friend wrote a comment on my story: "Who would just pick up and leave like that? Only people who had no life to begin with." My friend replied, "Actually, they had great lives going on—professional careers, etc, but they wanted adventure." And this woman replied, "Well, I am very happy with my life. I have three kids and a husband that I love and I stand by all of my choices."
Errrrr … okay? I think this is telling of a lot of Strayed and Gilbert's negative feedback too. People get their backs up when they feel challenged about their own life decisions. They lash out as a way to validate their choices, but below that is a deep sense of regret.
Torre - I think you're really on to something there. If you follow your dream, I start feeling bad about not following mine. Much easier to snipe at you than to join you. And some people are truly stuck where they are, with no hope of change.On a related note, I've noticed that a lot of people in the 'lifestyle design' area push their choices on others very forcefully. The result is a "you could do this too, if you really tried" mentality. Strayed and Gilbert did NOT do this, but many reviewers reacted similarly.
Torre wrote: "A lot of people are discouraged from expressing their feelings within their own families, and they learn to stay mute on the subject of emotions. I know a lot of women like this, as well as men. I ..."Tru dat Torre! As an author, I take pride in eliciting a reaction in the reader. Glenn is right, lifesyle design books are all about, "you could do this too if you really tried." That's pretty much the point of my books.
Defensiveness I understand-that's pretty transparent stuff, but why the ANGRY reactions to THIS book in particular? I think it comes down to sex.
Ask any one of these angry reviewers what scenes stick out in their minds, and I would bet that ten out of ten say something about her hook-ups.
Just wanted to say I loved Torre's comment about memoir and how brave, rather than self-indulgent it is to share your pain with the reader.So much of 'Wild' has really resonated with me. Aside from the skillful writing (I mean, this woman can WRITE!) it's the level of emotion she conveys that really strikes a cord with me.
Despite the different details of our lives (and the fact that I can not see myself hiking the PCT alone!) I really related to the theme of grief and loss that ran through the narrative.
For me, that is what writing and reading is all about, to form a connection between the author and the reader and Cheryl Strayed definitely achieved that with me.
I commend her bravery both in her life and her writing. She is one gutsy lady, with the humility to say, "I'm human, shit happened, I fucked up, but I came through it," and then turn that into art.
Possibly my favourite passage of the book so far (I still have 80 pages to go!) is this one:
"I didn't embrace the the word as my new name because it defined the negative aspects of the circumstances of my life, but because even in my darkest days - those days in which I was naming myself - I saw the power of the darkness. Saw that, in fact, I had strayed and that I was a stray and that from the wild places my straying had brought me, I knew things I couldn't have known before."
Thank you, Cheryl Strayed.
1. It's a memoir. Whenever I read a memoir, I expect it to be more navel gazing than other novel forms.2. Huge problem with this point. The answer is, quite frankly, no it's not. Thru hiking is a major commitment. It's not like a weekend camping trip -- finding a partner who has the exact same preferences and pacing for that type of hike is very difficult to do. Most thru hikers start hiking alone and end up hiking with the people they fit best with on the trail. Is this, effectively, what Cheryl does in Wild.
Here's the blog of a woman who has hiked the PCT and the CDT solo. It's more hiking/logistics focused, but please put that crap to bed that women can't hike alone or that it's somehow a billion times more dangerous for a woman to be an adventurer. http://www.walkingwithwired.com/index...
3. Mood boosts on long hikes are fine. A lot of people will mail themselves packages with town clothes because they're like Sasquatch emerging from the woods.
I think she overemphasizes the sex a bit. If this were written by a man, I'd think the same thing. But I'll attribute that to a me vs. Cheryl personality difference.
4. Memoir. I thought she actually downplayed the drug part. That's a major addiction, and it feels like she throws it aside fairly casually and cold-turkies it.
5. See #1. It's a memoir.
6. She did use the PCT as a marketing tool for this book. But Bill Bryson did the same thing with the AT in his book, and at least Strayed's book at least involves her interacting with other hikers in ways that show she isn't an ass. Naive? Yup. Showing a stunning lack of self-awareness? Often. But cynical? Nope.
-- I addressed the solo female hiking aspect. That's extremely gendered feedback that's frankly quite stupid. Women are more prone to UTIs, and we have periods. Those are the two specific gendered things *specific to the outdoors* that I can think of that female hikers have to deal with that male hikers don't. Women always have to deal with the 'creepy people while traveling alone' thing, so that's not specific to hiking solo.
-- This question is hard for me because the assumption one wants to make is that a male would be 'more prepared' in the outdoors. But the good news is, a case study for this already exists! Bill Bryson attempted a thru hike at a similar (so it was edited to seem) experience level as Strayed, and wow, was he ever less prepared than she was.
-- If you don't like Cheryl's personality, you won't like this book. Can't change that. It's also not enough of a hiking book (think AWOL on the AT) to appeal to the 'more serious' hikers, so the PCT might feel like a marketing gimmick in that regard.
-- YES. I think this book would've gone down much better if a man had written it. (See point #2)
-- In regards to hiking, not really. There are plenty of reasons not to hike alone, but getting bit by a snake or twisting an ankle aren't gender specific hiking dangers.
-- This book clearly is designed to appeal more to the Eat, Pray, Love crowd. That said, Strayed tells her story, which is why I liked this book. It's also about a women in nature, so bonus. She's also very clear that the book is not so much about hiking and the logistics of it as it is the spiritual side of taking a long journey. But the book is upfront about that, so I was fine that the focus went there. That's the story she wanted to tell. Personally, I'm wondering if she plays up her hiking inadequacies for the non-backpacking people who'll read this book. At the end, she acknowledges she grew up in a rural area and had outdoor skills, but it's a very brief note, and she never delves too deeply into how prepared she was in that regard. I guess it didn't make as good of a story. The 'lost girl' aspect of the book definitely sold really well, so good job on the editing.
1. "this book read like a never ending whine fest"
2. "Her decision to hike alone. Really not safe and in fact, stupid."
3. "Her care packages to herself included sexy lingerie for her potential hook-ups with strange men. Okay, she said it was for her to feel good but when you pack an entire box of condoms you've got to to wonder."
and
"The possibility of sex on the trail is of great concern to her. Not her shredded feet or the lack of boots that fit."
and
"The actual sex that takes place and her getting a kick out of being able to attract smelly men on the trail. Ick."
4. "Ahem, the drug use. She was a hard-core heroin user before the trip and if my memory is correct, manages to find drugs at least once while taking a break from the trail."
5. "Mom dies so Cheryl picks the new surname "Strayed". "Adulterer" would have been more direct"
6. "From the opening page to the end, I distrusted this author's voice. There's something not truthful, and even pathological, about her understanding of the world, and her place in it. Brave? Give me a break. She's merely a self-absorbed hack, who figured out how to exploit sex, abuse, animals, and Nature as a great marketing tool to showcase her own . . . whatever. I'm sure it was cathartic for her. For me, it was an utter waste of time. "
Anyway without baiting anyone into a big gender politics debate, I thought I'd open up a separate thread to discuss specifically these aspects of the book. I thought it would be interesting to unpack some of these ideas and discuss whether:
-- Do you think gender plays some role in the feedback? (Obviously I must, because I started this thread, but don't let that discourage you from disagreeing).
-- How would the book have been different if a male was writing it?
-- Do the negative reviewers have a point?
-- Are there differences in what kinds of risks/behaviors we accept from female narrators rather than male? Are there pros/cons to this? Is Cheryl Strayed using her gender (or is there some limits and benefits to each gender when it comes to the memoir?)
-- Women traveling solo, is it really dangerous?
-- Is this negativity similar to the Eat, Pray, Love phenom, in that it's about the level of success her book has had not necessarily the book itself? (If Elizabeth Gilbert was a D list author she might only have positive reviews... albeit many less... same with Cheryl Strayed?)
-- Anything else?