Corpus Press: Horror and Weird Fiction discussion
Ask the Duo of Darkness a question, if you dare!
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Evans
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Jan 06, 2013 05:49PM

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I honestly don't know where all this suspicion about our mental well-being is coming from. As I see it, our writings are just a slice of good, old-fashioned life. What, your spouse has never trapped you in a crawlspace for cheating and made you devour your lover to stay alive? Some people live sheltered lives, I swear!
But really - whenever I feel like I'm slipping towards the deep end and have serious psychological problems, I just talk to Adam. It always leaves me feeling good about my mental state by comparison! ; )
I recommend a conversation with him as cheap and easy therapy for almost anyone with any problem - I guarantee he's got them beat, and by a mile.
Of course I kid. (But that boy ain't quite right either)
But really - whenever I feel like I'm slipping towards the deep end and have serious psychological problems, I just talk to Adam. It always leaves me feeling good about my mental state by comparison! ; )
I recommend a conversation with him as cheap and easy therapy for almost anyone with any problem - I guarantee he's got them beat, and by a mile.
Of course I kid. (But that boy ain't quite right either)
Adam wrote: "Evans doesn't live in a glass house, but there are windows. Just a thought."
Touche! Well played, sir, well played.
Touche! Well played, sir, well played.
I learned from the beast... er, I mean, the best! I think that despite Andrea's alleged concern about our mental well being, she really thinks we're pretty cool. Me anyway.
Rob, I tend to find that jabbing a pencil deep into my ear is a good method for flushing out all the mental blockage.
Seriously, though, if I do hit that wall, which I do from time to time, I take a break and stop thinking about whatever I am writing, and eventually the muse returns. Usually, the wall comes down when I least expect.
Writer's block? A warm shower usually does the trick for me. I think it's the combination of the womblike environment and the white noise patter of falling water that sets the subconscious free. Sneaking up on my keyboard is another technique, and the one Adam described with the pencil, although radical, can be quite effective, I used to hear (before I tried it myself).
Argh! My kindle is frozen. I can't turn it off. Anyone have this problem before? Any helpful tips?
Mallory, I've tried that and it simply won't power down. I am thinking I need to let the battery die.


Adam and I started reading horror together at a fairly young age, so I imagine we share quite a few influences.
Mine would be Poe, Bradbury, King, T.H. White, Douglas Adams - and more recently, Joe Hill and Joe R. Lansdale. I'd say a lot of my current writing voice is a smoothie mix of Bradbury, Hill and Lansdale, with a sprinkle of Matheson on top, and a lot of "Tales from the Crypt" mixed in for an aftertaste that lingers.
Mine would be Poe, Bradbury, King, T.H. White, Douglas Adams - and more recently, Joe Hill and Joe R. Lansdale. I'd say a lot of my current writing voice is a smoothie mix of Bradbury, Hill and Lansdale, with a sprinkle of Matheson on top, and a lot of "Tales from the Crypt" mixed in for an aftertaste that lingers.
Maybe we should answer some questions no one has asked?
I'll kick it off:
A: "Why yes, it is true that Adam Light suffers from a full-blown, clinical-grade llama fetish. When this information recently went public with the release of an ill-advised candid photo, an embarrassed Mr. Adam Light claimed it it had been photoshopped.
Was the photo real? Well, I'm not sure 'photoshopped' was the appropriate word; perhaps 'consensual' would have been a more accurate description, especially given the positioning of the fresh ear of corn that was also taking an active role in the menage a trois."
(Of course, this was the answer to the question: "Why does Adam always have white fuzz in his beard?")
I hope this has been informative and edifying for his fans. And if you're a llama who happens to be a fan, you really should call him ASAP. He's got corn to feed you.
I'll kick it off:
A: "Why yes, it is true that Adam Light suffers from a full-blown, clinical-grade llama fetish. When this information recently went public with the release of an ill-advised candid photo, an embarrassed Mr. Adam Light claimed it it had been photoshopped.
Was the photo real? Well, I'm not sure 'photoshopped' was the appropriate word; perhaps 'consensual' would have been a more accurate description, especially given the positioning of the fresh ear of corn that was also taking an active role in the menage a trois."
(Of course, this was the answer to the question: "Why does Adam always have white fuzz in his beard?")
I hope this has been informative and edifying for his fans. And if you're a llama who happens to be a fan, you really should call him ASAP. He's got corn to feed you.
Larry wrote: "I knew that picture was real"
I figured you would see through his excuses. I just feel bad for all the poor llamas, mostly.
I figured you would see through his excuses. I just feel bad for all the poor llamas, mostly.

Here is. question for Evans.
When you write THE END on the wall with your own feces, and then calmly eat the contents of a bag of Jelly Bellies, and then break down into hysterics because Michael Jackson died, do you have to be baked?
When you write THE END on the wall with your own feces, and then calmly eat the contents of a bag of Jelly Bellies, and then break down into hysterics because Michael Jackson died, do you have to be baked?
Adam wrote: "I was in a bad place back then. I haven't even bought a llama a drink in months."
That means nothing. You told me yourself you prefer that they be sober so they can clearly remember every moment of shame, you sicko!
That means nothing. You told me yourself you prefer that they be sober so they can clearly remember every moment of shame, you sicko!
Larry wrote: "Im glad that your finally able to admit that you have a problem. Those poor poor llams. I dont think they saw what was coming."
A magnifying glass might have helped, is what you're implyng?
A magnifying glass might have helped, is what you're implyng?
Adam wrote: "Here is. question for Evans.
When you write THE END on the wall with your own feces, and then calmly eat the contents of a bag of Jelly Bellies, and then break down into hysterics because Michael ..."
It depends...Yes. No wait - no.
Maybe.
God, I feel so confused right now.
I think I'm going to go eat a bag of baked Michael Jackson in a bathful of jelly beans.
When you write THE END on the wall with your own feces, and then calmly eat the contents of a bag of Jelly Bellies, and then break down into hysterics because Michael ..."
It depends...Yes. No wait - no.
Maybe.
God, I feel so confused right now.
I think I'm going to go eat a bag of baked Michael Jackson in a bathful of jelly beans.
Adam wrote: "That was supposed to say naked! Damn cell phone!"
Baked was much more appropriate for the situation described!
Baked was much more appropriate for the situation described!
Books mentioned in this topic
The Fault in Our Stars (other topics)Toes Up: Horror to Die For (other topics)