David Estes Fans and YA Book Lovers Unite! discussion
Members' Writing
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Share your writing with the group!
Mod
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3..."
Really nice and sad considering what recently happened. Thanks for sharing :)
Beatrice wrote: "Wrote a short story..http://www.wattpad.com/story/1281990-..."
This was a touching story, Beatrice.
Ally*Lou's Girl*Tomlinson wrote: "Oh and I shared it with the whole 8th grade and I've been so amazed by their reactions, I mean they are my peers and my friends and I got an amazing reaction from them! I'm so happy!"You're in 8th grade? Pretty good work, I read all 11 chapters posted so far. Keep writing at this rate and you'll have a few books done before graduating from high school ;)
Anthony wrote: "Ally*Lou's Girl*Tomlinson wrote: "Oh and I shared it with the whole 8th grade and I've been so amazed by their reactions, I mean they are my peers and my friends and I got an amazing reaction from ..."Thanks!!!!!!!!!! :)
Mod
And she's already got fans! How crazy is that? Ally's our writing prodigy :)
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Drawings cool too! I suck at that lol
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@David Awww! Thanks David! That means so much to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
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Mod
Haha! Okay! And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I actually have fans :) It's so unbelievable and I'm so happy :)
Mod
LOL, I still don't think about my "fans" as "fans". Especially because I consider you all my friends, so I think of you as friends or readers :) I like being friends with my readers because:
1) You're all super cool and
2) You love reading the same type of books as me!
Great perspective. ;)I guess I'll share a bit of writing too:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
David wrote: "Ally*Lou's Girl*Tomlinson wrote: "Haha! Okay! And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I actually have fans :) It's so unbelievable and I'm so happy :)"LOL, I still don't think a..."
True, true aha!
Mod
I guess I'll share a bit of writing too:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3..."
Very witty :)
Mod
Happy holidays!
The Pisachas RetributionSmashing the soldier's head into the rock, Forrest King imagined everything this sick slug had done to those poor girls, encouraging him to thrust him into the jagged edge even harder. Slamming him down onto the ground, he stared at the blood streaming from the soldier's forehead.
Kicking the soldier in the chest, he felt embarrassed to waste his time on a slug that was only tough enough to beat up teenage girls with a group of his buddies. “Come on, Cuddles. You can't give up that bloody easily, I can't enjoy beating the crap out of you if you don't make an effort.”
Knowing what his employer would do if he failed to stop this guy getting any further, the soldier slammed into Forrest's black wetsuit, smashing him against the rock. Hoping that the intruder was winded, he scrambled for his AK-47 assault rifle.
Slamming his foot onto the weapon, Forrest pinned it to the rocks, smashing the back of his hand across the soldier's face. “How'd you want it? Quick or painful?”
Watching the pathetic slug begin to beg as he realised what was going to happen, Forrest couldn't believe this sick bastard expected compassion after everything he did to those girls, wondering how many times they begged him not to hurt them. “Okay, we'll do this the fun way.”
Pausing to hear the water smashing against the rocks, Forrest grinned, getting a really wicked idea. Grabbing the soldier's combat jacket, he dragged him to the edge of the ocean, pushing him down onto his knees. “Shall we see how long you can hold your breath?”
Despite the soldier struggling to shake his head, Forrest thrust his head beneath the water, forcing him deeper until he stopped trying to fight back. Holding the soldier under the water for a couple more minutes, he kicked the lifeless body into the ocean.
“Was that really necessary?”
Grinning as he heard the woman's soft American accent, Forrest turned. “Most definitely.” He glanced back at the water, calmly stroking his neatly trimmed beard. “About three years ago, Cuddles and a couple of his pals were doing a small job for their boss, Stefano Balasi, in London. After stealing a diamond necklace, they had a few days before they were picked up by Balasi's private jet, so they kidnapped two schoolgirls and raped them. One of those poor girls took her own life a day or two after being found. The other was left in a coma after they nearly beat her to death, she's come out of it.”
Stepping from the shadows, Catherine Jordan's long curly red hair hung over her red swimsuit, the tattoo of a black rose on her left shoulder. “And these bastards got away with it?”
Leading her up onto a high rock, Forrest pointed to the large mansion visible on the other side of the small island. “Stefano Balasi. He controls the majority of the organised crime around Greece, not to mention a number of international hotels. He used his considerable influence to make his people simply disappear from the prison where they were being detained, the fact that fifteen more innocent people were butchered in the process probably didn't rate as one of his priorities.” He grinned, glancing back at her. “Don't you agree that he needs a little lesson in respect, Cat?”
Hating that he hadn't told her this before getting her to come here, Catherine sat down on the cold rock, facing the building. She had seen the armed sentries guarding the docks when she had come in on the hired dinghy, but figured it was just another rich nut with more money than sense. She really should have known he had ulterior motives, just like always. “It looks like it's heavily defended. Guards, dogs, Uzis. You know, the usual.”
Smiling again, Forrest stroked his beard, enjoying that he knew exactly how to get inside undetected and she didn't. “There are ways, Cat. Many, many wonderful ways.”
Crouching down every time an occasional armed patrol walked past, Forrest and Catherine hurriedly reached a small cove. Leading her down toward the water, he pointed to a brightly lit opening in the rock face. “Unfortunately, it isn't marked entrance, but even I can't be expected to be perfect all the time.”
Glancing at the water and then at him, Catherine shook her head. “I hope you don't expect me to swim in there, I'm not a bloody dolphin.”
Wading into the water, Forrest grinned. “It's for a good cause.”
Reluctantly diving into the ocean, Catherine swam through the opening behind him, entering a large cavern dominated by a man-made concrete walkway. Hearing footsteps, she vanished beneath the surface.
Climbing from the water, Forrest saw the water dripping down onto the concrete and then the three shadows. Grinning as he turned, he stared at them mischievously, ignoring the automatic rifles being aimed directly at his chest. “I don't suppose you know the way to Athens?”
Rising slowly from the water, Catherine climbed onto the concrete behind the soldiers, nodding to Forrest. They had been in worse situations than this, in fact it seemed to be a regular occurrence. At least she knew exactly what he was going to do.
Raising his hands, Forrest contemplated his chances of overpowering the three soldiers, grinning as he saw Catherine wink in readiness. “Since there's little point in trying to convince you that my best friend is standing right behind you, I'm sure you won't mind if I give her a few instructions. I mean, I don't want to make a fuss or any noise. It might annoy Mr Balasi.”
One of the soldiers glanced back, just to check.
Catherine's foot flashed into his face, catapulting him into the water.
Forrest reacted quickly as she startled the other soldiers, smashing their head together before thrusting them at the concrete wall. Letting them fall, he collected one of the Uzis and executed one of the soldiers without hesitation, turning to face the other.
Smiling, Forrest felt satisfied that the soldier knew what it was like to feel so scared with no one to help him. “Sally Murdock, Kelli Smith. Those names rings any bells.” Seeing the horrified realisation on the man's face, Forrest tightened his finger on the trigger, drawing out the soldier's final few moments.
Refusing to look as she heard the solitary gunshot, Catherine focused her attention on the other soldier, watching him floundering in the water. “What about this one?”
Forrest stroked his beard, staring at his face before shaking his head. “He wasn't one of the bastards involved in the rapes, I suggest you fish him out and make sure he stays silent.”
Nodding, Catherine offered him her hand and pulled him from the water, before gripping the side of his neck lightly. Holding him as he collapsed, she lowered him onto the concrete floor.
Heading along the walkway, Forrest jumped down onto the deck of a small speedboat, checking it with amusement. “This is so cool.” He thought for an instant, glancing at the unconscious soldier. “You better bring our new friend down here and make sure he's comfortable. If we left him, Balasi will kill him for failing to stop us. So I was thinking we could adopt him.” Climbing back onto the walkway, he headed for the stairs leading up, pausing to glance back at Catherine. “I shouldn't be gone too long.”
A small part of my storyI think it's from chapter 10
"Let me go or I swear I'll make you regret it."
He just laughed, "Come on, there's one of you and three of us," he brought his face close to mine, "Face it sweetheart, you aren't getting away."
I spat at him, "We'll see."
He just wiped his face and laughed, "So I heard you talked to our good friend Drew yesterday," his face grew serious, "What did he tell you."
I rolled my eyes, "You guys have a secret you don't want to spread around. Let me guess, you still sleep with stuffed animals."
He slapped my face, hard, "Shut up stupid girl, I tried to be nice, now tell me what you know."
His slap had rattled my teeth but I set my jaw and leaned my head against the wall, "All he told me was that his dad beats him."
He slapped me again, a little harder this time, "Liar! Now tell me!"
I was starting to get angry, "I told you all I know, now tell me what you did to Drew!"
"Oh, don't worry, your little friend is safe. Far away from here."
"Whatever, can I just go."
The man just laughed, "Not until you tell me what I want to know."
The other two men had loosened their grip a little bit, very slowly, so they didn't notice, I slid my hand into my jacket and held on to the handle of one of the knifes, "You can't keep me here."
"Well I don't see you trying to escape, nor do I see you getting very far if you did try to escape."
I yanked my arms out of the other two and kicked them both in the balls. They both doubled over in pain.
Before the guy who had been talking to me could understand what was happening I had him pinned to the wall with the knife at this throat.
"Tell me where Drew is," I hissed at him.
He just growled at me and shoved me off him. I fell down on the ground and gasped for air. The man was on top of me in an instant, my knife had dropped when I had fallen and he had it gripped tightly in his hand, "Stupid little girl," he brought his hand down, the knife hissing through the air.
I kicked his stomach and rolled out of the way just as the knife hit the ground.
Pulling out my other knife, I shoved him down on the floor and kicked the knife out of his hand. He land flat on his face. I heard him grunt and I assumed he wouldn't get back up.
I grabbed my other knife and started to walk down the tunnel. Four hands grabbed my arms.
I gasped and lost my balance. Both of my knifes fell out of my hand. I heard them hit the floor. The two guys I kicked in the balls had my arms. The dragged me and back pinned me.
"You know, you ain't so bad looking, you are actually very attractive," one of them said.
"Touch me and I swear it will be the last thing you do."
"Oh no, see this time you aren't going to get away."
"We'll see about that," I twisted my arm and pushed him on the ground. I sat down on him and grabbed his arm. I pulled it as far behind him as it would go and then some. He whimpered in pain.
His buddy tried to come help him but I swung my foot around and kicked his gut. He leaned over and I punched his face knocking him out.
The guy I was sitting on grunted and I just rolled my eyes, "Oh shut up," I said and slapped his face, he whimpered, his eyes rolled back in his head he leaned his head on the ground.
I love this thread on the group. I love all the different things that each member posts on here: poems, short stories, excerpts, quotes, and more. I may not comment on all of them but I do read all of them and I like each and everyone! Awesome :)
Mod
I think it's from chapter 10
"Let me go or I swear I'll make you regret it."
He just laughed, "Come on, there's one of you and three of us," he brought his face close t..."
Lol she is one tough girl! Nice Ally!!
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Aww thanks for saying that Brandy! I'm enjoying it too so it's good to know others in the group are liking it :) Thanks to all the contributors!
@David thanks, that was really fun to write. Don't know why but I love violence so I enjoy writing my action scenes!!! :P
OMG just finished Chapter 11!! My longest chapter yet!!! It's updated on my Goodreads story thing so y'all can check it out!!! up to 29,000 words!!!!!!!!!!
Hi!I got good news last Friday! A friend of my mom lives in England and she has a job in journalism. She knows a lot of people (publishers and stuff) and she suggested that I send my manuscript to her when it's finished. She'll give it to her contacts and put in a good word for me. Maybe my story will be published! Isn't that awesome?
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Wow well done!!! That's AMAZING!!
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I got good news last Friday! A friend of my mom lives in England and she has a job in journalism. She knows a lot of people (publishers and stuff) and she suggested that I send my manuscript t..."
That's crazy-awesome!!! Thanks for sharing your news and good luck :)
OMG I HIT 30,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yay! This thred is awesome. I didn't even know you could upload writing on GoodReads!! Why must I be behind in all things?? Okay so I just uploaded this one:Mr. Sandman
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
Mod
You. Are. The. Girl. On. Fire!!!! LOL, well done Ally girl! You rock :)
Mod
Mr. Sandman
http://www.goodreads.co..."
Yay, you're all caught up now! Really nice, thank you for sharing!!
David wrote: "Ally*Lou's Girl*Tomlinson wrote: "OMG I HIT 30,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!"You. Are. The. Girl. On. Fire!!!! LOL, well done Ally girl! You rock :)"
Thanks!!! :) And my friend the other day asked me when it was going to published lol
Mod
You. Are. The. Girl. On. Fire!!!! LOL, well done Ally girl! ..."
Hehe and what did you say?
Mod
hahah awesome! :) and your welcome!! :P
This is sort of sharing writing... I just found out Nick the Lolt won an Indie Book of the Day Award :)http://indiebookoftheday.com/
http://indiebookoftheday.com/nick-the...
Here another small part of my story... it's in chapter I think... :PAustin waved at them both before turning to me, “I’ll see you later this week, you gonna fight?”I nodded, “Good, okay, I’ll sign you up then,” he kissed my forehead before turning and closing the door behind him.
I blinked once before turning around, Brandon’s face was twisted with jealousy and Amelia gave me a confused look, “Fighting?” she asked.
I nodded, “Yeah it’s um something I sort of do here, you know like in one of the underground clubs...” I trailed off and looked down at the floor.
“Are you crazy, you could seriously hurt yourself,” Brandon said, his hands balled into fists.
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you.”
He snorted, “Yeah, like you could defend yourself when the Seth kid pelted you in the face.”
My face contorted in rage, “That was different, you know I can fight, just back off okay?”
He stood up and walked slowly towards me, “No I won’t back off, okay? This is not something your dad would want you to do, don’t hurt yourself, we don’t need you dead to.”
“How dare you bring up my dad, you have no idea what my dad would want, and I would back off before I punch you in the face,” I hissed trying not to punch him.
He touched my shoulder and I jerked away, “You. Are. Not. Invincible. You could get hurt! The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will stop hurting us all,” he growled at me.
I gasped, “I DON’T ASK FOR YOUR SYMPATHY, I’E BEEN DOING FINE ON MY OWN,” I screamed at him, “AND IF I HURT YOU GUYS SO MUCH JUST STOP CARING!”
He moved back genuinely hurt, “Whatever Natalie, just don’t expect me to come running, the next time you have a problem.”
“WHEN HAVE I EVER COME RUNNING TO YOU SINCE MY DAD DIED HUH? I’M PERFECTLY FINE TAKING CARE OF MYSELF! I DON’T NEED ANY MORE SYMPATHY OKAY? I’M SICK OF SYMPATHY SO JUST BACK OFF AND LEAVE. ME. ALONE.” With that I stormed to my room and slammed the door shut.
I threw myself down on the bed and cried into my pillow, how dare he try and tell me what to do.
@Ally That's pretty awesome; I like seeing the heroine in a tough girl role. It reminds me a little of this amazing film by Karyn Kusama. Do you mind if I make one minor suggestion?
Mod
http://indiebookoftheday.com/
http://indiebookoftheday.com/nick-the..."
Ooh, wow!! That's super cool! Congrats, man :) And everyone, if you haven't read this book, you've got to, it's truly amazing, one of my top 5 Indie books I've ever read.
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@Ruby yeah sure I'm fine with that :)@David she's a little screwed up but hey, she's been through a lot!! XD
And my friend is addicted to my story, every time I looked at her, she was trying to read my story on her laptop. LOL I'm so flattered! She's amazing! I love her to death. <3
Mod
@Ally - okie dokie. This by no means a professional opinion (just an opinion). Regarding this line I would back off before I punch you in the face,” I hissed trying not to punch him. To be a it's a tad redundant to have "punch" in the same line (just sounds a lil' off). Might I suggest, something "as my hands balled into fists near my sides..." Something along those lines if you get my meaning.
Can't wait to read more :)
David wrote: "Lol so good to have a friend like that. Never let her go!"I love her so much!!! (Don't tell anyone but we are secretly married :P) but everyone is like 'omg she is so dramatic' and I'm like shut up I love her, don't make me hit you! lol
Ruby wrote: "@Ally - okie dokie. This by no means a professional opinion (just an opinion). Regarding this line I would back off before I punch you in the face,” I hissed trying not to punch him. To be a it's..."
That makes sense!!! :) The whole story is posted on my profile. Just so you know :P
Mod
I love her so much!!! (Don't tell anyone but we are secretly married :P) but everyone is like 'omg she is so dramatic' and ..."
Hahaha!! You sound like quite a pair :)
@Ally Seriously, you finished it already. Wicked! Hmm...it seems your profile is not available to other GR members.
Mod
She's still in the process of writing it, but all her chapters so far are posted :) Here's a link:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...
David Estes Fans and YA Book Lovers Unite!
Books mentioned in this topic
Nick the Lolt (other topics)The Pisachas Retribution (other topics)
That's so cool!!