Clearing the Clutter: How's it going for you?

[Lilly]

Although many books describe the 3 bucket de-clutter technique - I finally took Peter Walsh seriously in his audiobook It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff. My daughter (15) had accumulated so much stuff in her room that there was no place to put her clean clothes except on the piano in the living room! Recently, she agreed to de-clutter her room. So we set up 3 buckets in the hallway - labeled throw away, give away, store. Anything left in her room was "keep." The trick for Sarah was to be decisive and resist the urge to go down memory lane. My job was to move the items in each bucket along as quickly as possible toward their ultimate destinations - so she didn't have to consider them twice. In the past I have lobbied for specific items to be discarded, which has created a mother/daughter power struggle, of sorts, between us. This time I did my best to stay neutral and make no judgment about her decisions. Sarah's clean clothes are back in her closet (for the moment at least!:-)

[Tara]

I watched Julia Morgenstern(sp?) pbs porgram on organizing from the inside out. I liked her approach because it was more of an inquiry and a took a psychological/spiritual approach to organizing, not one of those books giving you rules and "have to's", since I don't do well with people telling me what to do. She says that your room should reflect what is most important to you in your life right now and if it isn't, it should be stored or given away. She would also ask questions like "is it not put away because it doesn't have a home? or is it too hard to put away?" She also says to work on one area at a time and complete it, so like you have above, if it goes elsewhere, make a pile instead of migrating over to a different area.

My particular challenge is getting rid of containers, bags, boxes and packaging material etc. I am an avid recycler and re-user, so if I think I can use it later, then I keep it for a 2nd use rather than recycle it now. However, I think I need to revisit the quantity and variety of what I keep and let the rest go. But that would mean that I would have to commit a certain amount of time to sort through it in the first place, which is even a bigger challenge!

[Lars]

Hi. Nice to see this this morning after talking to Lilly last night about clutter and the All Ears concomitant event (by the way, can I get invited to these events?). Clearing out the clutter resonates with me and apparently a lot of others. It's what I've been doing recently, what friends of mine have been doing recently, and now, I find out, what people I don't know have been doing recently and what has become the subject material for some good books. I'm going to at least check out Walsh and Morgenstern (Tara's spelling is correct!).

[Lilly]

Small victories seem to be working best for me lately. My husband gets frustrated when at the critical point in making dinner, he can't located the utensil he needs from the 2 large, overstuffed drawers full of kitchen utensils in our kitchen. SO the other night, I took everything out of the drawers and laid them out on the kitchen table, and grouped them by like items. It was pretty amusing to see 15 bottle openers, 9 spatulas, 8 meat thermometers etc. Then I asked Stan to select all the items that he no longer thought we would use. The few items that were still in good shape, I donated to Goodwill the next morning. Since clearing the 2 drawers, I literally feel lighter and it give me pleasure to open them. My husband seems happier too! Question: Does anyone know an easily means of disposing of the mercury filled thermometers?

[Tara]

Hi Lilly,

I know that there are local drop offs for toxics like batteries and flourescent lights - the one closest to me is the Orchard Supply at Alum Rock. Maybe they take mercury as well?

[Marci]

Thank you Lilly - your clutter event inspired me to tackle my clutter. I plan to start in my garage which is 1/2 full of un-packed boxes from my move... 9 years ago! I'm reading Peter Walsh too - I selected: Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Big? It really explores some the psychology of excess… My goal is to reduce my stores of stuff and reduce my weight while I'm at it.

[James]

I recently listened to David Allen's "Getting Things Done". His book is really more about processing paper-based stuff, rather than clutter... but many of the concepts apply to clutter, or even more generally, to EVERYTHING there is to do, handle, or process in life. Especially if you're looking to not only clean the clutter, but KEEP it gone... it might be worth a read.

[Lilly]

Tara - Thanks for OSH recycling location tip. Will check into it.
Marci - Keep us posted on your progress. I want to know what it feels like when you tackle that first "pound of box!"
James - My friend, Helen, asked specifically about paper clutter at the event. Thanks for the recommendation!

Tackled the sports equipment jumble in the corner of the family room this weekend. What a mess! Eventually, I hope to reclaim this space as a reading corner, but for now I'm happy to get the level of sports equipment down to what my son actually uses. Laid everything out in groups of like items on the back patio. My son selected what he still uses, which wasn't much. Then he released his Brio and slot car sets! Part of the deal with my son is that I find a new home for everything that he parts with - only broken items get thrown out. I don't have the motivation to sell this stuff on Craig's list, but my neighbor friend does! She stopped by today to pick it up and will list it this week. Not particularly concerned with what it fetches, but that whoever gets it, wants it. Hmmm. Did I have fun de-cluttering? No. Do I feel better now? Yes. Is it affirming that my son thanked me today for getting this part of his life organized? Very.

[Jen]

Lily, its heartening to witness what happens when one starts to clear a corner, and suddenly it feels good -like exercising and losing weight - every drawer and every space is a candidate for filtering and letting go.
And just like those pounds dropping off, one feels lighter and freer. Funny thing is I just read that a lot of the donation places are getting less stuff coming in.
Which is interesting, maybe people are buying less, or maybe they are selling their unneeded clutter.

[Marci]

Now I'm reading "House Lust" by Daniel McGinn. He mentions that the home size average in the US has doubled since 1950. I grew up with six brothers and sisters (i.e. 9 of us total) living in a 1500 square foot home. Now, I have a family of 4 total living in 3000 square feet. That's a 4X increase in space per person. This phenomena has "enabled" me to collect more crap. Just because you have more space, doesn't mean you need more stuff. I'm working on learning to do more with less.

[Lilly]

Adding the books y'all have mentioned so they appear under "Books mentioned in this topic."
It's All Too Much An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff

Organizing from the Inside Out The Foolproof System for Organizing Your Home, Your Office, and Your Life

Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Big? The 6 Step Total Life Approach to Permanently Clearing Out the Clutter that Redefines How You Live, What You Eat, and How You Look

House Lust America's Obsession With Our Homes

I've been reading Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui by Karen Kingston, which describes clutter as stuck energy. Clearing out the sports equipment jumble, a couple of weeks ago, fully exposed a window that had been obscured with junk and a closed shade. The other morning while rushing around getting my kids lunches ready for school, I noticed the movement of dappled light on the hard wood floor, coming through the trees out side the window. That kind of beauty in my home stopped me in my tracks. And I felt a moment of awe. Sounds corny, but it feels good to have that kind of experience in my own home.

[Lars]

Lilly at All Ears Audiobooks wrote: "Adding the books y'all have mentioned so they appear under "Books mentioned in this topic."
[b:It's All Too Much An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff|2870957|It's All Too Much A..."

The moment of beauty you described did NOT sound corny to me. Finding the extraordinary in the ordinary is what poets and zen masters do!

[Lilly]

Thanks Lars - Guess I'm not entirely comfortable sharing my zen moment. But the truth is I'd like to experience more of them in my day. Thanks for you support.

Marci - House Lust definitely puts the bigger house trend in perspective. And boy do I know what you mean when you say all this stuff is crap. Interestingly enough, my first impulse is to clear my husband and kids clutter first, but not my own. For instance, I have a small counter in my kitchen covered with my you know what. If I would just focus, it would take 2 hrs tops to clear it and create some order. For me, it's a bit like thinking about exercising when I haven't for a while. I know I'll feel so much better once I do, but I feel stuck in my own inertia. I'm hoping that by putting this truth in writing I'll get off my duff and doing something about it this weekend. We'll see...

Jen - Thanks for your comments. How one deposes of one's clutter is a very personal matter. I wouldn't doubt that there is a correlation between disposal behavior and the economy. I say get it out of your house any way you can - even if it is in the dumpster! I happen not to be a fan of contributing to the land fill, so disposal tends to follow my interests and goes something like this:
1) Clothes go to my cleaning ladies. Anything they don't use, they sent to family in Mexico.
2) Children's books go to Reading Partners (www.readingpartners.org), the rest to the library
3) Running/sports shoes are delivered annually at the Run for Zimbabwe in Los Altos (www.zimbabweparaguay.org)
4) Most recently, items with a value are posted on Craig's List by my friend Liz Cox (www.saratogabaskets.com)
5) Miscellaneous household items go to Hope or Good Will.
6) Electronic waste gets dropped off at local high school e-waste fundraisers.

Anyone have any particularly satisfying ways to get rid of their stuff?

[Cjusti]

I have been enjoying reading about all those of you have been tackling the problem of clutter. Although I have not read this book, I understand very well what all of you are going through. My first adventure came five years ago when my husband passed away. I knew he was a packrat...but did not know that he was a small colony all to himself. He had a 10X10 foot storage shed all to himself which I did not dare venture in. We had been married 19 years. When he passed, I went into the shed and looked at all the stuff in there and promptly closed the door and did not look at for a year. I finally bit the bullet and took one whole weekend and cleaned it out. I found stuff in there from his days in Korea (the Korean War!!!) I found stuff broken, I knew he had every intention of fixing it, but since he needed a working one, he would buy a new one in the meantime. He had one or two broken of the tools that were in working condition, Motto...throw the broken one away cuz you are never going to fix it.

Cleaning out his shed cured me of my having any kind of clutter. It was painful for me because Now it was My Stuff!!! But I decided if I don't wear it within a year I get rid of it. Especially if it is a size smaller than you are now...Don't think you are going to diet and fit into them...it is now going to happen. And if it does....what a wonderful excuse to buy new clothes. I go with the philosophy that clutter can most certainly be replaced....if you really want another something, you can buy a new one...but probably you won't cuz that's why you got rid of it in the first place.

To all those who are tackling their clutter...it's no fun, but maybe someone else can benefit from them. Keep on trudging...

CJ

[Tara]

I was just at a Wednesday service and the minister was talking about cleaning out her closet and then she talked about cleaning out the "inner" closet of the mind and getting rid of anything that doesn't serve us in our spiritual awakening. The quote that she used from the Bible which I love is:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

For those that aren't religious - take out the "will of God" language and replace it with whatever works for you or take it out altogether. What can we do to get rid of all that old stuff that clutters our mind that is an old story, an old resentment? What can we do to not add to our clutter on a daily basis and see what already is "good, acceptable and perfect" just the way it is? Can we not conform to this world e.g. look to the world for our source of happiness?

What was brought up in the sermon was that the act of forgiveness of others and especially of ourselves can clear out the clutter and in the tradition that I follow, meditation is a key practice.

Peace be with you all, Tara

[Lilly]

Cjusti wrote: "I have been enjoying reading about all those of you have been tackling the problem of clutter. Although I have not read this book, I understand very well what all of you are going through. My fir..."

Cheryl - I can't imagine how hard it must have been to get yourself to go through and clear out your husband's shed. I am taking inspiration from it. Be in the present.

My observation is that it takes a year for most people to ready themselves to take on this type of task. When my mother-in-law passed away, my husband's family (including me) couldn't even begin to deal with dismantling her house for a full year. Even then, my sister-in-law took a significant amount of her mother's (and grandmother's) things to her house, where they sit in storage. It is hard to let go. All the more reason I applaud your courage to clear out the shed.

[Lilly]

Tara wrote: "I was just at a Wednesday service and the minister was talking about cleaning out her closet and then she talked about cleaning out the "inner" closet of the mind and getting rid of anything that d..."

Tara - Wow - talk about getting to the heart of the matter. Your post inspires me to add Ann's recent post under "Which one did you just finish?" Remember the dapple light dancing on my hard wood floor? By clearing the clutter, I have discovered the perfect spot to meditate in my house! One step closer to actually starting a mediation practice..
==============
Ann says...
I just finished Becoming Enlightened by The Dalai Lama.

In Becoming Enlightened, His Holiness The Dalai Lama powerfully explores the foundation of Buddhism, laying out an accessible and practical approach to age-old questions: How can we live free from suffering? How can we achieve lasting happiness and peace?

Dalai Lama says that all religions are valid and each is suited well for a different group of people. It says Buddhists should never go around trying to convert others. Buddhism is not better than other religions. Each religion is a path, each one promotes peace, compassion and charity.

Time is precious, don't waste it by hurrying to do things. Instead meditate daily, to give yourself some calm, quiet time. You should try to bring under control your lust for objects and people. Learn to be content with what you have, to appreciate what you already own.

Focus on appreciating yourself and others. People pray all the time for more money, better health, a better job, etc. - but rarely do they simply focus on being content NOW. In fact, if people relaxed and were content with they had now, they would be healthier and happier now.

[Julie]

I have been inspired by everyone's de-clutter stories to start cleaning up. As a book lover, I always start a project by reading (or listening to) a book. I listened to Julie Morgenstern's When Organizing Isn't Enough, SHED . I found it to be very practical and inspirational - lots of stories about people at crossroads in their lives when they needed to set new goals. What was really interesting for me was that Morgenstern talks about not only decluttering your 'stuff', but decluttering by eliminating mindless habits or tasks that are unnecessary time sinks. Her declutter definition seemed to follow Tara's comments about decluttering your mind and overall life. OK - I'm ready to start!

[Lilly]

I recognized this as a form of de-clutter procrastination but it's progress nonetheless...18 cups & saucer and butter plates of our wedding china has been sitting in our house unused for the last 20 years. Because I couldn't bear to de-clutter a particularly nasty counter in my kitchen, I got motivated instead to dig out the china and see what I might be able to sell it for. After checking with www.replacement.com and realizing it's worth a chunk of change, my husband offered to post it on eBay. Stan has a laser engraving business and has wanted to start offing custom engraved glassware on eBay. The china project tripped his wire to get going... As for me, I'm happy to see the china go, but I'm still staring blankly at the nasty kitchen counter.

[Jen]

Lilly at All Ears Audiobooks wrote: "I recognized this as a form of de-clutter procrastination but it's progress nonetheless...18 cups & saucer and butter plates of our wedding china has been sitting in our house unused for the last 2..."


Lily, progress indeed! and you should be proud. Finally getting to the wedding gifts after all these years! - see they do come in handy Cching!
I think you are saving the nasty kitchen counter for last.
Then you will know you are done. Sounds like you are slowly moving forward. and remember its a step at a time.
THanks for all the useful tips & stories - now I need to go check out all my dark corners and move the stuff to the curb - while listening to an inspiring tale!

[Lilly]

Was out riding my bike today and notice a house for sale in my neighborhood with the same layout and similar remodel work as mine. The house was professionally staged, devoid of all clutter. My jaw dropped to see how big the place felt. Of course, I would never want to live likes this, but it did remind me of why I want to reclaim my house. I'm continuing to work on small areas, off and on and ALWAYS while listening to an audiobook. As a result, I seem to be much more tuned into descriptions in novels of how people feel about their homes and possessions. In Loving Frank (as in Frank Lloyd Wright) by Nancy Horan, discussion of residential design is central to the book. In The Name Sake by Jhumpa Lahiri, the author spends a significant amount of time describing and comparing living spaces of her characters -- also how her characters feel about their stuff. Even in Creating a World Without Poverty by Mohammad Yunus, I find his discussion of how the term "the poor" is defined in different parts of the world serves as a point of comparison for evaluating my own sense of personal wealth or poverty. Thanks for reading my ponderings...