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message 1: by t star (new)

t star (hidden32) | 31 comments Mod
If you have an idea on a story that you want to share or work on post here. If you call *no grabbies* it means you own full right to that idea and no one can take it unless you give it away


message 2: by Dion (new)

Dion (my_booklove) | 6 comments Mod
**no grabbies**

Girl called summer with a strict mum. She meets a guy called Jason and, remembering Summer is a social outcast, they kinda fall in love. He's new and they go out and are all cutesy couple. Then she finds out that they used to know each other and he left when he was 7 coz his parents died. And he's lied to her. ANd she trusted him so she's hurt. Haven't yet decided whether the ending will be realistic or lovey-dovey....


message 3: by t star (new)

t star (hidden32) | 31 comments Mod
Nice seems awesome


message 4: by Dion (new)

Dion (my_booklove) | 6 comments Mod
aha thanks :P


message 5: by Aleisha (new)

Aleisha Judge (alilovessandy) | 40 comments Mod
*no grabbies*
so this is the pro-log to a book im wrighting at the moment. it whould be great to have some feedback and the next few chapters are in the creative writing section of the sight.

I stood in my bedroom starring out the window; the bright summer sun touched my skin but never warmed it.
A large black van pulled up outside the house and the driver, a man, dressed in black got out and hurried to the door. A few seconds later I heard the door open and close. A woman sat in the kitchen waiting for us to come home.
The crashing started suddenly getting louder by the second. It was soon joined by yelling. Glass broke and hard wooden objects were thrown against the wall. The commotion moved to the other side of the house into the kitchen. Before I could move I heard her scream followed by a muffled gun shot.
Footsteps moved quickly to the front door. Opened but never closed, the door swayed in the breeze. I tried to get a look at the man’s face, he never looked at me and I never saw his face. Just the dark red blood that now covered his shirt. He left the front yard, moving behind the house to look for witnesses.
It wouldn’t be long before he came here. With no remorse I felt a sudden urge to run to the kitchen. I ran as quietly as I could, down the stairs and through the house. There was glass and debris everywhere. The wall was covered in large holes caused by plates, chairs and anything else they could get their hands on.
Blood filled footprints lead from the kitchen and went straight through the living room. I knew what was coming next but it was like my feet had a mind of their own. As I got closer to the kitchen I saw the stream of blood slithering towards me.
I rounded the corner and supressed the urge to scream. She lay in a pool of blood, surrounded by the disasters of the struggle. I tried to walk closer but the blood covered my bare feet gathering between my toes.
I took a step backwards but hit something hard. I slowly turned around already knew what was coming, the scratchy wool of a sweater made my skin crawl. After a thousand dreams and nightmares it still shook me to the bone. I turned around staring at his blood covered shirt and screamed.


message 6: by t star (new)

t star (hidden32) | 31 comments Mod
OMG that's was good I wanna read the rest. I gonna read the rest


message 7: by Aleisha (new)

Aleisha Judge (alilovessandy) | 40 comments Mod
thxs


message 8: by t star (new)

t star (hidden32) | 31 comments Mod
Which story is this piece from


message 9: by Aleisha (new)

Aleisha Judge (alilovessandy) | 40 comments Mod
the words i couldnt say


message 10: by Alaknanda (new)

Alaknanda k | 1 comments *no grabbies*
PROLOGUE:
I’m out with my family. It’s a temple,two temples actually. i was wearing a white frock with different flower pattern on it’s borders. I reached the left temple first. Its a huge cement building or the GOPURAM as we call it, with white marble flooring and a stupa –the worshipping column was made of bronze around 30ft tall. I looked one last time at the entrance gate where my father and my younger sister were still lagging behind buying flowers to pay respect to our diety and made my way to the GOPURAM. I reached the stupa and held my hands praying to god. As soon as i entered the main temple it was full of people of all age groups making their way towards the ideal i was stuck but finally reached close enough that i could see the diety. I started reciting the slokas what mom taught me by reciting them every morning during her puja.
I made my way towards the exit to enter another temple to the right of the entrance gate. This temple was almost twice the first one and was totally opposite in looks. It was made with black marble. Everything was black marble except for the doors which were wooden. It was almost 15ft from the ground floor. There were around thirty steps leading me towards the enchanted massive marble structure.
I reached the last step suddenly realising everything around me became silent. There was no sign of any living existence around me. The crowd that just greeted me in the last temple has also vanished. It was just me moving inside. I seemed to forget about my father and my sister.
I reached the huge wooden doors and i led myself inside. My surroundings became strange all i could see was beautifully carved black marble with a different language which mostly included symbols, that was out of my knowledge . it was a language of a different era. The interior was a maze, a confusing one, i have already gone to two wrong paths and reached dead ends. Suddenly my inner voice spoke
“I should find him.”


message 11: by t star (new)

t star (hidden32) | 31 comments Mod
Intersting I've never read something like that. Perfect cliff hanger leaves you wanting more


message 12: by Rykel (new)

Rykel | 4 comments Aleisha wrote: "*no grabbies*
so this is the pro-log to a book im wrighting at the moment. it whould be great to have some feedback and the next few chapters are in the creative writing section of the sight.

I st..."

"A few seconds later I heard the door open and close." I'm assuming this is the front door to a house if so,you need to differentiate between the door of the "van" and the door of the "house"

"A woman sat in the kitchen waiting for us to come home."this could have been omitted,if not then you need to be more definitive"

somewhere between here:"The commotion moved to the other side of the house into the kitchen." and "Footsteps moved quickly to the front door." I not only became confused as to which door the "Assailant" entered through but also well the initial position of the the "Woman".

"He left the front yard, moving behind the house to look for witnesses." Either you're inside the house already which,I assume is the case considering you not only heard the ordeal but also his "footsteps." or this is one dumb criminal.

"Blood filled footprints lead from the kitchen and went straight through the living room." "I knew what was coming next but it was like my feet had a mind of their own. As I got closer to the kitchen.." something weird's going on here.

"I slowly turned around already knew(knowing) what was coming."

I really like your descriptions they have a dramatic macabre feel to them.Good :)


message 13: by Aleisha (new)

Aleisha Judge (alilovessandy) | 40 comments Mod
thxs


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