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Oct 11, 2012 04:09PM
They say that they like you or that they will call you and then they don't.
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Mitzi, they're not all like that. I promise! And, some of them just need to grow up a bit.
I've joined some lesbian dating sites. I'm just about done with men!
The only men who show any intereste at all are literally old enough to be my grandfather.
I guess I shouldn't let age matter though.
I guess I shouldn't let age matter though.
Depends on how old you are and how MUCH of an age gap.
Its about a 40 year age gap. But people tell me that I'm an old soul. I seem to have more in common with older people than people my own age.
That's not right, sweetie. No, just no.
well, she just joined GR this month, has over 300 friends and no books. You decide.
:(
Not nice.
I'm not interested in the older men btw. It's just nice to talk to someone who shows a little respect when they talk to me. Guys my age don't do that.
Not nice.
I'm not interested in the older men btw. It's just nice to talk to someone who shows a little respect when they talk to me. Guys my age don't do that.
So if they say "I'll call you" and I ask them "when?" and they aren't specific, then it just means they aren't really that interested. At that point do you think I should just give up? Or if I really like them, should I keep after them? I mean, don't some guys like for a girl to pursue them?
Try this and then report back and not before. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
If he doesn't call you, it is because he doesn't want to. Sheeesh!
i read every word of every post on this thread.
Cheri wrote: "Try this and then report back and not before. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
If he doesn't call you, it is because he doesn't want to. Sheeesh!"
I FUCKING HATE THAT BOOK AND THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF BRUSHING OFF ANY RESPONSIBILITY ONE HAS TOWARDS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING TO "He's just not that into you."
That may be the case occasionally, but more times than not, he's using that excuse as the blanket excuse to blow another person off because it seems kinder than the shallow reason he actually has for not being interested in a woman (or guy, as the case may be). If a guy has to use it, chances are he needs to be honest with himself and consider if this is actually the truth of the situation. It does not excuse insensitive behavior like suddenly blowing someone off without wishing them well, being clear that further contact is not welcome, etc. This book, this concept will never be okay with me.
Maybe guys are just fickle. Maybe they are just being polite. Maybe they need for us girls to make up their mind for them. They might not think they are that into us, but maybe it takes time and we have to convince them that they really are into us. Then once we get married, we can control them.
You're deluding yourself if you believe that, Mitzi. Guys are not exclusively the liars in the human population. Women do it, too. And as is the case in most situations, they are the exception, not the rule. Good, honest men and women exist as do people who cannot be honest. You can either choose to surround yourself with people who have integrity or not. It's ultimately your choice - you are not a victim. Take ownership of your life and the people you choose to be in it. If they don't meet your standards of integrity. Wish them well and move on. People lie because they lack integrity and the emotional maturity to deal with the consequence of honesty and consideration and compassion. Now here's the deal... most everyone lies at some time or another. They do it for self-preservation. I've done it. I'm a crappy liar, so more times than not, I choose to be honest. In the same token that I feel passionately that men (and women) should be honest about their disinterest, I think people should also not be so damn sensitive when someone decides you're not the one. Both individuals need to act emotionally mature.
Carol wrote: "read any good books lately?":) Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro... excellent book
Mitzi wrote: "I've joined some lesbian dating sites. I'm just about done with men!"Ack. Are you for real?
Sarah Pi wrote: "Ack. Are you for real?"Girl, do the lesbians of the world a favor and get yourself to a nunnery if you think you can't handle men.
Kev, you would never lie and say you're going to call a girl and then not do it!
Heidi, NOW I finally get what you were saying to me in the "Just let it die already" thread about, "Just sayin". I was TOTALLY confused. It's a book! Who knew?
TrollMitzi, the sad fact is that 98% of the time a dude is either attracted to you or not, whether intellect/appearance/sense of humor/kindness, whatever attracts him he's there or not. You should have enough respect for yourself not to chase anyone or try to force them, and you should have enough respect for your partner not to try to change them. If you want to change them, they're not the one for you.
Lastly, most (and I say most) guy-guys only want to be chased (in my experience) if you look like:
(Isn't Portman one of the ones RA used to drool over?)
Heidi, NOW I finally get what you were saying to me in the "Just let it die already" thread about, "Just sayin". I was TOTALLY confused. It's a book! Who knew?
Lastly, most (and I say most) guy-guys only want to be chased (in my experience) if you look like:
(Isn't Portman one of the ones RA used to drool over?)
Sarah Pi wrote: "Mitzi wrote: "I've joined some lesbian dating sites. I'm just about done with men!"
Ack. Are you for real?"
Hahahahaha! Scared you, SP?
Ack. Are you for real?"
Hahahahaha! Scared you, SP?
I'm pretty sure I'd be certain that I was "done with men" before I started trying to hook up with the ladies...
Yeah, no lesbian dating site wants someone who is only dating women because she's "done with men." That's not the same thing as attraction. At best you'll be wasting someone's time, and at worst you'll just wind up chatting with some woman who is just the female version of the generation-gap guys you described upthread, because your pattern is your pattern. Fix yourself, friend, if you're a real person. Don't date until you sort out the self-esteem problem.
Heidi wrote: "Cheri wrote: "Try this and then report back and not before. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
If he doesn't call you, it is because he doesn't want to. Sheee..."
Heidi, I get what you are saying but that is not what the book is about. It's not about HIM saying he's 'just that not...'. That would be too honest for him to say. It is the girlfriend's response to her girlfriend when she says, " Why doesn't he call even after we've had sex?' or "I've loaned him money, gave him my car, let him crash at my house, give him sex whenever he wants. Why won't he call me back?' or "I've given up 10 years of my life for him, why won't he leave his wife?" Girlfriend to girlfriend: He doesn't want to because if he did, he would. It is not difficult to figure out.
Mitzibot, If you think you can CONTROL a man after you've married him, you've never married. The best course for you now would be celibacy for every one's sake. Get a dog. That's where you will find true love.
Cheri wrote: "Heidi wrote: "Cheri wrote: "Try this and then report back and not before. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
If he doesn't call you, it is because he doesn't ..."
I've read the book (if I haven't rated it on GR yet, I will - it's getting a 1). I still don't buy the line.
Also, I will have to stand by what I said - men and women should not be so sensitive and insecure that they require an explanation. A person with any modicum of self-esteem would brush it off and move on, wishing the guy/girl, whatever, well. It's understandable to feel hurt if you've invested your emotions in someone and they don't reciprocate - give yourself time to grieve and move on. Feeling needy, though? No. That person's likely already detached from you. If you continue trying to contact them, you need to question yourself as to why you're doing all the work. It's a wasted effort. And that circles back around to "Move on."
*snorts again*
Seriously, I'm starting to hope the girl isn't real.
Seriously, I'm starting to hope the girl isn't real.
If Mitzi is a real person, we've just crossed men, women, and dogs off her list. Dang, we work fast.
Sarah Pi wrote: "If Mitzi is a real person, we've just crossed men, women, and dogs off her list. Dang, we work fast."Robots need love, too?
Heidi wrote: "Sarah Pi wrote: "If Mitzi is a real person, we've just crossed men, women, and dogs off her list. Dang, we work fast."Robots need love, too?"
Way to use your earworm powers for good and not for evil!
Robots need love too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRcXUL...
Mitzi, eh?Kevin, is that you? C'mon, you can tell me. Nobody else will know.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Hee. Crossposted robots need love too."We rock, Sarah PiDiddy!
BunWat wrote: "Cheri wrote: ". Mitzibot, If you think you can CONTROL a man after you've married him, you've never married. The best course for you now would be celibacy for every one's sake. Get a dog. That's where you will find true love. ..."DO NOT GET A DOG!!!
It's not fair to the dog. Dogs are not substitute boyfriends. Mitzi is clearly not ready for a dog."
Bun beat me to it!
Well, here's an update. I was talking to a guy that is only 12 years older than me, but he does not believe in God and gets very angry because I do believe. He was getting verbally abusive in fact and acting like I am intellectually inferior.
I would have no problem being with a woman. I find women to be very attractive. But I would like to have a family some day and have children.
I would have no problem being with a woman. I find women to be very attractive. But I would like to have a family some day and have children.
If you have functioning ovaries and a uterus you can grow a baby. One important thing is that the child is nurtured in a loving and supportive environment.
Good Lord it's embarrassing how much I love Heidi. You rock, girlfriend.
She is beautiful, like a little piece of cake.
I don't remember ever talking like that. Maybe I blocked it out...
Sarah Pi wrote: "Don't date until you sort out the self-esteem problem."This is so true but you know I think there comes a time when a person has to see people even while dealing with self-esteem stuff. Not necessarily for a romantic partner but for a do-things-with partner.
*Thinks lots of unpleasant names at Kevin*
I didn't think he would, but I didn't think he would lie about it.
*confusion headache*
Don't mess with my emotions, Kev. I'm not well today.
*confusion headache*
Don't mess with my emotions, Kev. I'm not well today.
they are both goofuses. In a sweet way.
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