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Flight Paths > Images within Mirrors

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message 1: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments Does the behaviour of your virtual self sit comfortably alongside your real life self or does social media present a chance to role play.

Both of me (or all of me/us) have few social intelligence skills as you may have noticed !


message 2: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments what real life self?
no matter how I might be feeling, people will judge accorng to their own criteria!


message 3: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (last edited Sep 13, 2012 09:40AM) (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments so how does the dream self figure into this? I went back to sleep and dreamed...of Ice.

It was a long dream so I can recall only details.
I am disembarking from a train. Ice is there,waiting for me, tho he doent seem as excited as i am to see him. I have the complete visual:ice dressed all in dark beige not quite khaki,trousers,london fog, fedora at a slouch. I had to peer around it to see his face. We walk along shyly, and I tell Ice you look exactly like I imagined, how about me. But Ice is falling behind,and the strange thing was, that tho it appeared that he had come to meet my train, in fact (in the dream) it was here in Van and Ice was to be coming here to my place:looking just as it does with gaping bookshelves and stuff all around.

I was over to one side,talking with a faceless group of friends, while Ice was making friends of his own. He went off on a long walk with a very pale renoiresque other woman with long dampblack hair, talking earnestly. My friends thought that I should summon him back,but I suggested we leave him in peace and use the time to go home and see what we can quickly do to tidy up a bit before his arrival. The dream fades with this activity.


message 4: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments I dreamed of work, which is fast becoming my number one hobby :-(


message 5: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments As long as it's just a hobby, should be all right


message 6: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments Wish - In work today !


message 7: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments I dont miss work at all!
And of course, moving from the flip to what I seriously believe,I think work needs be alleviated with play. When we love our work, and give each aspect the proper reverence, it is no longer oppresssive. Even cleaning Toilets. The Zen of it is to go with the flow, and be flexible. I am working hard to get out of here!


message 8: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments Rather than start a new topic, I feel this is as good a place as any to voice some of my concerns about something I just found out about today, that being the announcement of the merger between GR and Amazon.
The first thing I want to say is,even tho this group has not been very active lately,its still very dear to me. In fact, it is composed of most of my dearest GR friends. And travelling as I am,thrust into strange places and situations,you may be by strict definition, merely virtual friends,but to me, you live in me me and I cant differentiate much any more between those of you I have come to love and those friends back home I have encountered in the flesh.
In short, I don't want to lose you.
This change to GR fills me with trpidation.
I need some feedback before I get too maulin so I will post this now.


message 9: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments Don't fear, Magdelane-we are here. I don't know what will result from the takeover but for the moment we're safe. And if we were to have to form a private group, then that's what we would do (even if I had to figure out a way to use google groups!).

Earlier today I was looking over the groups I belong to & realized how important this group is to me even if I don't post all that regularly. Or perhaps I should say how important the people in this group are to me-as you say, not just GR friends but friends.

So I promise not to disappear! (And of course you must make the same promise!)

ellie


message 10: by Traveller (last edited Apr 01, 2013 10:56AM) (new)

Traveller (moontravlr) | 70 comments Still here, Mags. Do not fear.
I think I'll mention here, just in case, that my username at Library Thing is CJH2. However, I'm too invested here to just jump willy-nilly onto the next ship. I don't love the big warrior-maiden, but I do love my friends here. :)


message 11: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments I'm also at LibraryThing- my username is ellienyc. But I'm not there much (like Traveller, all my friends are here)-though I must say they're a lot more generous at giving me early review books than they are here at GR (like not in a couple of years).


message 12: by Jim (new)

Jim Magdelanye wrote: "Rather than start a new topic, I feel this is as good a place as any to voice some of my concerns about something I just found out about today, that being the announcement of the merger between GR ..."

There are many chicken-littles who have been freaking out all weekend long imagining all kinds of apocalyptic scenarios and cursing the unborn children of Otis for selling GR to Amazon. They've taken every bad news story they've ever heard about Amazon, superimposed it on a nightmare image of GRamazon and created thousands of gallons of stomach acid for themselves. A fair number have opened accounts in LT and elsewhere, while still maintaining their accounts here. A small number of people have deleted their books and reviews and left GR entirely. There is very little love for Amazon for reasons that don't need to be repeated here.

Like Ellie and Traveller, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I've been an Amazon customer since the 90's and have never had a single problem with them. A side-effect of their business model and carnivorous business practices has been the decimation of Main Street, but they did it with the full cooperation of consumers like me and the other millions, so who am I to complain about their latest acquisition? If GR becomes untenable, we can easily regroup elsewhere, as Ellie suggested. I also opened an LT account last year for the fun of it (jimnoir). We could easily re-form over there.

We'll all be around here for you while you wander, and so as Ford Prefect reminded Arthur Dent, always carry a towel and Don't Panic!!


message 13: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments Sometimes the revolution comes from within.

Looking forward to ignoring increasing levels of advertising.


message 14: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments So its clear...I do have chicken little tendencies.
Your posts here just now have subsided my panic somewhat,but this merger worries me. Look whats happened because of the unholy alliance with facebook,at least to me a cause of fury,with their willy nilly importing of friends. I have managed to keep these,the only big groups I belong to, honest insofar as I personally know all my FB friends,and some of them,a few,do overlap because they personally joined GR. What a rank thing for them to arbitrarily grab some of my FB people and claim Congratulations,your GR friend list is growing. Especially when said friend has no interest.
As for Amazon, the only time I ever used them was through a friend/who ordered for me a book I could not find in Vancouver. 3 weeks later the book arrived,same title, wrong author.I had to pay to return it, and then,when the correct book arrived,it was hardcover not soft as ordered.
Maybe its because of being Canadian,and maybe it is easier now,but I am one of quasi-Luddites who doesnt have a credit card or mobie phone,and as you know,not a kindle fan (I am gratified dear friends that you put up with me at all) so really,the ominous issues certainly outweigh conceivable benefits.

Wait and see.
My FB adress is under delazzra


message 15: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments Always happy to use the great commercial god of Amazon ................... as a last resort, sadly this is sometimes the case.


message 16: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments I'm still trying to deal with my problems with facebook/
I have resorted to signing in with them because I can't remember ever getting a GR password and it seemed expedient.
But I hate the way they are grabbing random FB friends and adding them to my GR friends list. I never have had enough time or patience to figure out how to delete them either.
At least they havent been bombarding me with ads,possibly because Hebrew is not on GR's database.
On FB I do get them still,matched to the country I am in. I can easily ignore them because I dont read Hebrew or even Spanish that well. Its the jumping ads that so annoy


message 17: by Jim (new)

Jim Magdelanye wrote: "I'm still trying to deal with my problems with facebook/
I have resorted to signing in with them because I can't remember ever getting a GR password and it seemed expedient.
But I hate the way they..."


When you arrive back in Canada, find some youngster under 30 to show you how to use adblock, control the GR-FB connection, delete FB friends, and so on. The digi-kids do this stuff in their sleep...


message 18: by Traveller (new)

Traveller (moontravlr) | 70 comments Mags, to delete a friend, go to their profile and scroll right down to the bottom and right down at the very bottom in small text that appears greyed out, you will see the option: 'remove as friend'.


message 19: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments The Glass Cage is alive and well as today I am unable to log out of Goodreads.


message 20: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments Ice wrote: "Does the behaviour of your virtual self sit comfortably alongside your real life self or does social media present a chance to role play.

Both of me (or all of me/us) have few social intelligence ..."


I'm so unimaginative. My virtual self is more or less "me"-whatever that means. At least, I don't have any consciously fabricated or manipulated self created expressly for the web or any social site. Maybe someday I'll have the energy to construct one.
Although that might be an odd hobby if I ever get to retire.


message 21: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments My notion is that my virtual self has the opportunity to be more authentic than the self that walks around and must conform to the laws of propriety.

Online,here included most of all,I can say what I really feel, which boils down to, free to be really me.

Doesn't mean I don't appreciate role playing games,altho I haven't really checked them out online.
What creeps me out is the idea of passing off a constructed,false self as authentic.

Ellie,and Ice, it's your authenticity that I cherish.


message 22: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments Sadly, this is the self I (more or less) bring to work which may explain a lot of the trouble I have there. I'm still working on constructing a good false self that will protect me out there.

Of course, at the rate I'm going, I'll retire before I finish.


message 23: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments Ellie wrote: "Sadly, this is the self I (more or less) bring to work which may explain a lot of the trouble I have there. I'm still working on constructing a good false self that will protect me out there...."

Actually this reminds me of a job I once had before I was a credentialed massage therapist,in a massage parlor. It was a pseudo elegant setting and great money (my kid was getting to the age where he didn't just need new sneakers every six months,he needed Nikes) and yes,I knew it was a bit sketchy this place (Garden of Eden it was called)but I had a big crush on both of my bosses (a gorgeous gay couple from France and Denmark).Everyone was so sopisticated,a hothouse atmosphere. I created a whole new personality based on the model that appeared on the cover of an early Roxy music album,even taking her name,Amanda. The image the impressed me the most and acted like a talisman is the one where she is walking two panthers on a leash through crowded city nightscape. I invoked this personna to better handle the type of customer we often got,to protect my virtue (such as it were back in the early eighties.

Bring a sense of fun into the mix,and dont worry if people you dont especially like at the moment have a hard time with the new (compilation) you.


message 24: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments Thanks Magdelanye: I read this at a moment I really needed to-thank you!

Ellie


message 25: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments Not sure how others felt about that ugly little tag that started appearing to indicate that a comment was made by a moderator,but I have chosen to remove it.


message 26: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments Yesterday I really wished I had a virtual self. I plunged suddenly into a very dark mood at work and couldn't hide it. Better today but still shaken.


message 27: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments from time to time we need to be shaken and stirred to obtain integration....
hope I dont sound glib here
going through a shaky,stirring time myself here and now


message 28: by Ellie (new)

Ellie (elliearcher) | 1245 comments I like the idea-shake and stir!


message 29: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (last edited Dec 25, 2021 12:01PM) (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments well Ellie we have been shaken and stirred allright. This thread, started by Ice Bear just shy of a decade ago, should be revived, IMHO. I have a completely different perspective now that my online friendships outnumber my in the flesh buddies. I am surprised how deep one can go virtually.

What do you think?
First lets see if people can find this

Actually, I picked this thread because its not about what I am reading, nor really what I am doing. It is intended to alleviate any confusion for anyone reading a comment I just made on one of my own reviews, but especially for Petra Petra and Ellie. who I mentioned in my comment. In fact I was replyong to her last comment DEC,2013.
But maybe you quickly figured out that after years of following her, I requested to be friends with the other Petra-Who-Is-Bringing-a-bit-of-Fun to her depression right now. I seem to remember that you all know each other? Hope this makes sense, it will keep me on my toes but as far as I can tell the Petras are still unique.


message 30: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments I watch the increasing online video game addiction of the children and do contemplate how they are going to distinguish between reality and game playing. The expectation of instant responses and gratification wants me occasionally get off the escalator. However covid has changed the dynamic, and slowly my phone takes up too much of my attention, not least the costs of having it constantly on charge. I think that the increased use of technology has merged the reality and the virtual into some sort of hybrid.


message 31: by Magdelanye, Senior Flight Attendant (new)

Magdelanye | 2337 comments Im pretty sure that "grown ups" are just as susceptible to not only video games but to all sorts of lures that eat our time and have deleterious effects on our health.
But when my main source of connection with others is primarily virtual, thats real, isnt it?


message 32: by Ice, Pilgrim (new)

Ice Bear (neilar) | 756 comments You are correct it's never as simple, as my voluntary work is with people with isolation and mental heath issues, where in some instances the ability to connect virtually provides some relief from the loneliness. Social Media is however neutral in its technology but can heighten anxiety.


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