Writers Block Battering Ram discussion

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Characters > Lye's Character problem

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message 1: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) Here is my character.
Name: Drea the Blood Ninja (in the story the names are made out by the clans you're in. She's a ninja, and all of them are given names like the gentleman ninja, or the happy ninja)
Age:14
History: She used to be a knight in training, but was tricked by another ninja to become a ninja. During training, she meets Gent, a knight who's acting as a ninja so the knights can get some important info on the ninjas. (Ninjas evil, knights good) Before there first asasian mission, they run away. Gent wants her to go back to the knight and work with him. She says no, but he promises her his heart. (Metaphoricly speaking). She becomes a famous thief, but imposters act like her and murder hundreds of people. Meanwhile, she decides to stop those people, and goes on a hunt for the real murders. Meanwhile in the world, there are evil creatures called tayogs that took over the world 100 years ago and to stop them there is a group called the ressistance. She is forced to join one of the teams for it, and those are the stories main characters.
Looks: She wears a long sleeved black shirt, black pants, black gloves, black boots, black mask, and long blood red silkish scarf tied around her waist when she wants to be reckonized as Blood ninja. When not, she doesn't wear mask, revealing long blood red hair and eyes, and a long black cloak over her blood ninja outfit.
She never reveals any feelings she has, and has a very dry voice.

The problem is, in the actual story, I have a very hard time describing her. Any ideas?



message 2: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) No thats help. I have the vocabulary of a 2 year older in some topics.


message 3: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) Yeah, my mom just got me a dictonary/thesarus from her school, and it has a lot of words in it. Like right has a lot of different synonyms.




message 4: by Trish (last edited Feb 04, 2009 08:57AM) (new)

Trish She has red eyes? That is so cool!

I have very vivid visualization skills so most of the time when I write, you will see me with my eyes closed while I visualize what's happening or the character I'm describing before I type. I don't know if that helps for you.

Think of questions that you want to know about the characters you read about to get a complete picture for yourself. Or go in order from head to toe or vice versa and describe every detail you possibly can even if you don't intend to use them. Is her chin pointy, long, rounded, chiseled? I have the hardest time describing lips, but I guess if they don't really stand out like...um...Angelina Jolie's then just leave them. Teeth don't necessarily need a description unless it adds to the complete perfection, lack thereof, or if the character is an animal or monster of some type. Nose - again I have trouble with that, but is it pointy, crooked, big, small, bony, long, etc. Your thesaurus can help you find different words to help with that. Eyes - close together, far apart, dark, large, angled, and otherwise, just eye color or maybe there's a spot or ring of color in the eye. I never describe eyelashes or eyebrows unless they're really bushy or appear differently on a specific creature. Then the hair - you described the color, but what's the texture of it - curly, straight, full-bodied, wavy, frizzy, etc. What's the exact length? Does if fall just below her chin, neck, shoulders, etc. Does she usually style it or leave it hang plainly or maybe wear it in a ponytail or bun so it doesn't interfere with her ninja moves.

I also recommend the use of similies and metaphors to help get a picture of certain features.

Also does her voice sound dry or does she have a dry sense of humor? I wasn't sure which you meant.


message 5: by Trish (new)

Trish Who wouldn't be able to pick her lips out of a line-up, right?! LOL! I always like to give my guys James McAvoy or Jude Law lips cuz they're yummy!


message 6: by Elaine (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) Use her outward appearance to show the reading how she thinks, acts, and feels.


message 7: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
so do you want to just drop hints? stuff like 'her read eyes glinted evilly' or something like that?

Don't describe her in words. Make your readers figure it out.

e.g.

"That's Drea," so-and-so whispered to so-and-so. "She used to be a knight in training. It didn't go so well." and she could still have knightly skills or something like that. But don't just clump all your information in the beginning or when you meet her. spread it out. Keep readers guessing.


message 8: by Elaine (new)

Elaine (caladhiel) Yes, I agree with Marisol!


message 9: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) Thanks!


message 10: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (last edited Feb 04, 2009 03:08PM) (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
Does that work? you have a very well-planned out character; just don't overload us with detail. Not all of it has to make it into the story.


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

The story sounds awesome. I agree with everyone else about the description issue.


message 12: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
then it's a majority, lye. not all of the description all at once.


message 13: by Trish (new)

Trish Yeppers! You gotta sneak it in there like Halloween candy.


message 14: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
lol


message 15: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
you might want to check this out if you want more help, Lye.


message 16: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
just a thought:)


message 17: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) thanks!


message 18: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) who's rick rordan?


message 19: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) figured it out. wrote lightning thief. I think.


message 20: by Amy, Writer Blocked in Chief (new)

Amy (runawaymarbles) | 329 comments Mod
Yes, he did. And it's Riordan. Anyway. If you want, you could post different excerpts describing her from the auctual story and we can figure something out. If your problem is solved, you can close the topic or leave it open; you're choice.


message 21: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) oh sorry about spelling name wrong. I'm done, so I'll close it. Thanks everyone!


message 22: by Leiko (new)

Leiko Xantara (arrogant_protector) oh sorry about spelling name wrong. I'm done, but have no clue how to close it.


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