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Grey Wolf

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message 1: by Gary (new)

Gary Bonn | 11 comments Mod
It filled the square - that looked untidyly empty.
Suggestions please.

message 2: by Katie (new)

Katie (KTeggart) | 5 comments :-)

message 3: by Katie (new)

Katie (KTeggart) | 5 comments ...

message 4: by Gary (new)

Gary Bonn | 11 comments Mod
Hello Katie - thanks for the blog like. I really must push on with that and update once a month.


message 5: by Katie (new)

Katie (KTeggart) | 5 comments You really should, it's a great insight into all the workings of writing, and how we form relationships with our characters. I meed huge help on 'showing, not telling-' I think I'm on the rigjt track with my rewrite, but it keeps slipping back...got a blog, or advice for that? Hope you're well K

message 6: by Katie (new)

Katie (KTeggart) | 5 comments damn touch screen typing! Can't spell!

message 7: by Gary (new)

Gary Bonn | 11 comments Mod
What a coincidence... I was writing on this today. I'll paste what I've written here.

There really are a load of 'rules' on this subject - on the internet - and I think there are no rules at all. Here you go...

There are many angles on show and tell - Trying to get to the bottom of one – I could define show as descriptive detail. If you were to see a wave break, you would see a lot of things – motion, colour, spume, ripples, backwash etc. But you may not pick out those details consciously.

Obviously an artist painting the wave would have to see all of that to depict it – and in writing you are an artist and must help the reader see at least some of what you see.

Below, I’ll write some tell in bold with show below. Compare the effects the two have on you. One literally tells you what is happening – the other forces you to look at it.

Show is all about senses. All the input senses (1), all the internal senses(2) and all emotions(3).
So you can mix and match

We were hit by a giant wave...

The gunwale heaved,(1) thrown towards the sky (1) a wall of water thundered over our heads (1), stunned and off balance(2) my limbs crashed against(1) the capstan. My stomach knotted (2), I felt weak and powerless,(3) in the face of such...

That’s not very good – but it does show the mix and match idea. Below are some better examples

A crow flew over

With a jarring cry, a crow swooped low, its shadow racing across the grass.

The sun rose

Shafts of early sunlight cut between the trees and sparkled on the frosted icicles.

The ground is treacherous here.

It’s easy to trip here, all jagged fangs of shattered rock. One moment you’re walking, the next and desert grit is grinding into your face.

She picked up the microphone

Her lips brushed the microphone, fingers caressed it – the slow touch of a lover.

That made him really angry.

Hands clenched to fists, shoulders stiffened and thrown forwards, his face paled, mouth twisted in fury.

She kissed me lovingly

A snatched moment, while the others couldn’t see us, her urgent lips on mine, the tips of our tongues brushing

I lay on the ground, looked up at the stars and relaxed

Stars glittered between the high branches; leaves crackled as I lay down. The stream whispered beside me. The peace and stillness held me like a loving mother.

I blocked his sword with mine

Our notched and ragged blades screeched and snagged.

Show is very useful

in scene-setting
when you want to slow things down.
to pull the reader in

It can be used in dialogue... (Some examples out of context from my own books and stories)

‛Go away and stop trying to flatter me’

‘You’re talking rubbish. I’m dripping with stinking sweat, my hair resembles a mass of mating snakes and I’m wearing my “die you bastard” expression. Naff off, creep.’

‛He’s too slow’

‛No way can that cumbersome knight ever hope to hit someone moving faster than a barmaid’s slap.’

Other examples

A wave breaks on the shore

A thundering wave crashes among the boulders. It roars and rattles loose shingle, then hisses and retreats with a sad whisper.

I liked the way the sun shone through the trees as we drove

An avenue of trees, light, shade, light, shade, black, white, flash, flash; beautiful. I wish it would go on for ever.

A woman comes slowly into view

A door opening and closing so softly I can hardly hear it. Whispered footsteps on deep carpet; slow steps, someone wanting to delay the moment.
There she is. A tired mother. Tousled hair, tense hands pulling a heavy dressing gown around her.

message 8: by Katie (new)

Katie (KTeggart) | 5 comments reblogged:-) Fantastic advice (as always)... now plot cliches....

message 9: by Gary (new)

Gary Bonn | 11 comments Mod
Tell me about it and I'll try to help - or think hard. Two points... it's all been done before anyway; is it a problem? Can you do something unique with it?

message 10: by Alex (new)

Alex | 1 comments Interesting discussion. My novel Nakamura Reality is to a degree about the process of writing fiction: how reality is transformed into fiction and the shifts that make the ordinary strange. As discussed above, showing is key. Publishers Weekly gave the novel, which will be released the end of this month, a starred review, and my publisher is giving away 25 copies on Goodreads. Go to
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2... to enter.

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