Q&A with Hannah Bradshaw discussion
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Diary of a Teenage Whatever
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Hannah
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Aug 27, 2012 09:31PM
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Why does it seem to hurt so bad when you loose somebody close,and it hurts worse when you realize you really loved them?
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I think it's natural to feel hurt when you lose someone, whether it's forever or even just for a little while. Sometimes, you don't remember all the things you love about them until they're not with you anymore. It's a terrible feeling, but I think it's important to hold onto the good memories. If you're feeling a lot of pain, it's probably because that person was very special to you.
Maybe it would help to talk with someone you trust about what you're feeling. You can even talk about it here if you want; I'd be glad to listen. But if you'd rather not talk, that's okay too. Pain on the inside is a lot like pain on the outside...it can take a long time to heal, and even then, it may leave a scar. I hope you can feel a little bit stronger knowing that there are others (here's one, anyway) who care and are willing to listen to what you have to say. Stay strong, and don't let go.
Its just been difficult. I feel like I am weighed down by all kinds of problems, some mine and some my friends', but I don't know how to let go of all the angry feelings I have. I feel like I am going to explode one day.
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I understand that feeling of holding your emotions inside. Since I have trouble dealing with overwhelming emotions, I tend to hold them in and let them fester, which isn't good. And when you add the weight of other people's problems, that can make it doubly worse.
Have you ever tried to let your feelings out on paper? I find that if I write down everything I'm feeling, even if it doesn't make sense, it relieves me of some of the destructive energy that builds up inside me. It doesn't make the bad thoughts go away, but it makes me feel like I've done something with my emotions. I don't know if this method will work the same for you, but I would definitely suggest trying it. Or, if you don't want to use words, you can take your anger out on the paper itself. Cut it up, tear it into pieces, crumple it, write words and scribble them out. It sounds stupid, but it's the same principle as the first method. You're doing something with your emotions, and as a result, you're actually producing art. The most important thing is to keep from hurting yourself, and keep from hurting others. Exploding a little bit (by tearing up paper, running, screaming into a pillow, etc.) can be a good thing if it helps you feel a little less overwhelmed.
I would also suggest, if you have time, think about the things that you like. Doesn't have to be anything deep, it can be a song, a movie, whatever. Try to think of as many things as you can. And whenever you have a few spare minutes, treat yourself to one of those things. If nothing else, it will distract you from the difficult feelings until you've had some time to calm down and address them with a clear head.
None of these are absolute solutions, but I hope they help a little. It sounds like you are a very caring person, to take on your friends' problems as well as your own. If you feel too bogged down (or if you think someone's taking advantage of your sympathy), it's okay to tell them enough's enough. Or that you just need some time alone. It's also okay to share your own problems with them, if that's something you're comfortable with.
Hannah, how is your book coming along?
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Right now, I'm in the middle of the seventeenth chapter. There will probably be about 20-25 chapters total. I really want to finish the book and get it out there as soon as possible, but I'm also trying to polish it up the best I can. I just posted a new excerpt on diaryofateenagewhatever.wordpress.com, if you'd like to read it.
