Question #26: Something Borrowed

[Niki]

I just put my name in all of them as a reminder to the person that I lend to that I want it back. My future mother-in-law came to my house while I was gone and took about 15 books. At first that didn't bother me until I realized I had no idea if she meant to give them back. At least I know where she lives ;)

[[deleted user]]

I rarely lend my books to friends, or anyone! Most of the books I buy are very precious to me. Like A Single Shard? It was SIGNED by the author. NEVER leaves the house.

[Mary]

I really love to lend a good book to someone so that they can enjoy it as much as I did. I have to say, though, that I have never had much luck in getting them back. And if I do, they are usually in rough shape. I should have learned my lesson by now...

[Dawn]

WELL SINCE I HAVE YET TO RE READ A BOOK IN MY LIFE I SEND THEM PACKING EXCEPT FOR MY SERIES AUTHORS.

[Kim]

I used to be really possesive over my books- would only lend to my mum and sister. I've reached bursting points with books- so now unfortunately mostly read and 'liberate' my books!

[Dawn]

u should use trading sites its alot of fun and a good way to dump your stash and get new ones. Try

bookmooch.com
bookins.com
swaptree.com
paperbackswap.com

[Tina]

Of course I lend my books! It's only fair, because so many of the books I have are loans or gifts from others. I usually have a pretty good stash of mass market paperbacks, first- or secondhand, which I have no problem just giving away. But if someone sees a book on my shelf that she's dying to read, of course I'll loan it. I just make sure to tell the person if I expect it back; make that expectation clear from the beginning. Most of the time the books make it back to me, but if not, it's no big deal to me. I guess you could say I'm biased towards lending, though, being a librarian :). It's a great way to save money, too. I can't tell you how many times my sister-in-law and I have bought each other the same book as a gift, when we could have saved a few dollars by borrowing from each other.

[Dawn]

Tina your last statement is so true. I have a very good friend that I read with and everytime we see each other we have bought he other a new book from our lists. If we just took time we could save alot of money.

[Leslie]

When I was a kid my bookish friends and I used to have what we called "book lending parties." We'd get together at someone's house and bring a big pile of books that we thought the others might like. Then we'd have a free-for-all in grabbing each other's books to to borrow. We had a master notebook where we kept track of who loaned what to who, so that everybody could get their books back. So much (nerdy) fun!

I don't tend to worry too much about loaning books to people, though I mostly only loan to people that I see on a regular basis. We swap around in my office quite a bit, and I see those people every day, so I know I'll get my stuff back eventually, if it's something I care about getting back.

[LadyCalico]

Simple, I only lend books when I don't care if they come back. I tell the borrower, when finished, pay it forward. My one exception is when I have a waiting list of several friends wanting the same book. Same philosophy of borrowing. I don't want anything you value and if you want to just give it to me to pass onto someone else when I'm done--great. If a book is a keeper, I just give my friends author, title, recommendation.

[Vanessa]

I think along the same lines as Dawn in that I don't reread many if any books, so I lend the ones that I have loved and don't expect them back. The other books I either donate to the library or give them to the office at the high school. The women there really appreciate receiving and sharing the books around the office.

On another note, I have a Kindle, and the only thing I don't like about it is that I can't pass on the books to someone else.

[Angie]

I write in almost all of my books. That solves the problem of friends wanting to borrow my books. :)

[FromAna]

I am quite selfish and OCD with my books which is why I've only had one friend ever lend me a book with I returned a few days later exactly as she gave it to me and bought my own copy. I lent my sister a book about a year ago it was bothering me so much she had not returned it I bought her her own copy - snuck into her apt and exchanged the books.

I don't even share my books with my husband - he understands and stays away from them. LOL

[Breezy]

I honestly don't mind loaning out books... chances are, they're just sitting on my bookshelves, waiting for somebody to take them out anyhow. My problem is with being the borrower. I like to really USE my books. I'll bend the spine, dog- ear the pages... and since I read all day every day and everywhere, I invariably spill something on it, leaving a stain. I'm of the school that a book isn't quite a book until it's been broken in. However, not everybody feels that same way, and I try to be respectful of that. So, instead of borrowing their books, I buy cheap used/ out of print ones. After all...

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for oft the loan loses itself and friend"

[Dawn]

Breezy i could not agree more. You may borrow from me anyday.

[Sue]

I will lend my books but only to people I know will treat them properly. I treat my books with care and expect the people who borrow them to do the same. I hate pages folded back and damaged spines.

[Rita]

I'm with Breezy, I break in books usually. Having said that I usually lend out or trade most of my books because I only keep the exceptional books as I live in a small apt and have limited space. I will let certain, specific people borrow my "keeper" books, but that list of people is literally like 5 people long.

[Kelley]

I have a very difficult time loaning my books. It is not that I don't want to share, but I have loaned books in the past and have not gotten them back. Stupidly enough at least one was one I hadn't even read yet. I have one firend I loan to but I know she will return them. I did loan one to somoeone else at her suggestion but I am very nervous about it because it was a gift and he loses things!

[Emeshea]

It depends on the book and the person.

There are three types of books in my library: ones for fun and ones that have brought about personal life change, etc. The fun ones I can usually pass on without caring if it comes back. The others I would rather have my own copy, with markings in it, that I keep for reference. Then I usually go buy another copy (or five) to give to people who would appreciate it. The third type of book is my collection of international books... Harry Potter in several languages (13 I think) and other books like that. Those don't get lent out, but one day they may end up being donated to the library.

And... I am a huge fan of the library. Why buy the book when you can borrow it free from the library??? Then I can just buy the significant ones!

[Sooz]

Jonathan wrote: "All the time. Karma, people. Karma."


i love it!

[Brandi]

I love to share books with friends and relatives. I know now who will return the books, and who won't, so I keep that in mind. If it is a book that I just love and can't live without, it is not going to be lent out.

[Ez]

I will occasionally. I've loaned out books and gotten them back damaged (or not at all in some cases), so these days I only lend them to people I am close to, who I know will treat the book well (and actually return it). Mainly I only borrow books to my mom and my best friend.

[Jennifer]

I never lend out my favorite books. I worry too much that they will be ruined and/or I won't get them back. I have lost quite a few books that I cherished that way. But if it's a book that I don't intend to keep, I lend those out no problem. Now with the bookswap on here I can more easily get rid of them since a lot of them are ones the bookstores won't buy back. I have been tempted lately to write in the front cover, my name, when I read it, and my rating all in the hopes that as the books get passed along, others would continue to do it. It would be interesting to see how many hands a book falls into. is that lame?

[Molly]

Jennifer wrote: "It would be interesting to see how many hands a book falls into. is that lame?
.."

Not at all - there is an entire website devoted to that very cause - it is called Bookcrossing.

[Nicole]

I actually don't lend, not because I don't want to but because I have few friends who enjoy reading. I do borrow, I have five books I recently borrowed from a friend that will occupy me for the next couple of weeks.

I did start mooching some of my books though.

[Jennifer]

Thanks for the info Molly...I knew I couldn't be the first person to think of it...though now I have a whole other website to check out...I'm getting addicted to too many websites...I gotta find a job soon because I am spending way too much time online...

[Donna]

Jonathan wrote: "All the time. Karma, people. Karma."

Yes, Karma... It had better be biting all the people who mutilated, lost or SOLD my books for they are the reason I no longer lone my books. I pass along the one time reads with no expectation of return and instructions to pass it on.

[Carly]

Most of my books come to me free . . . I win them, or they're discarded - or I get them really cheap.

So I don't mind loaning them out . . . if I paid 40 bucks each for them, I might think twice about it - but, even then, I don't really have any friends that don't return books, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Lise]

I lend books to friends I know will return them. But it's rarely an issue anyway, most of my friends aren't that interested in reading. ^^

[Cecilia]

All the time... If the book finds its way back to me great! If not I love hearing about all the people it was passed on to.

I had a book that went on a cross Atlantic cruise and was left in Europe somewhere. When my friend offered to buy me another copy, I told that I had already read it so it was okay.

Books are treasures to be shared.

[Emma]

I do because it's in my nature to please people though I often end up regretting it as people end up not giving me them back or ruining the quality.

I don't like to borrow other people's books either as I feel like it's a responsibility - propably because books mean so much to me.

[Karen]

If I'm not bothered about getting the book back then I'll loan it out. I also leave books on planes or in hotels but I never thought about leaving a note with my email address in it.

[Carol]

I have loaned (in fact almost shoved ) books to friends, and I learned that if I want to make sure I have it, a well-beloved book that is HARD TO FIND in addition, that I'd better forgo the pleasure I get in sharing something and keep it to myself. Not many things are that precious to me, but I've learned to recognize when I would be able to 'let go' of something and when it would wrench at my heart to lose it. 'Spitting On The Sherriff', a paperback of dark humor cartoons was one of those. Fortunately I found a copy many years after the one I loaned disappeared.

[Heathermomo]

I will lend any book to anyone - and not expect to see it again ... apart from my Discworld books. I'd really like those back please, although I know my Small Gods is somewhere in India, and a couple may have ended up in China...

[TJ]

I used to share my books, but I stopped because they don't return them. I made one exception with the Twilight Saga & The Lost Symbol because I don't want returned to me. I practically begged my aunt to take the Twilight Saga off my hands.

[Emily]

I have no problem lending out books. It's always to people I can trust, and I always just remind the person to take care of it. I have, many years ago, lent out a book and not gotten it back, but it was my own fault for not keeping better track of who I lent it to. For the most part I haven't had any problems. In fact, the last book I lent out was to a co-worker and after he finished it he accidentally dropped it in a puddle, but bought me a new copy to replace the one he damaged. Things like that rarely happen, but as long as you're lending to someone you trust I see no problem with it.

[[deleted user]]

I have lent some books to friends, but I won't anymore. If I lend a book and ask the person to return it to me afterward, I usually don't get it back. This has happened on a few occasions. One time a friend bought me a book, and she said she'd like to read it when I was through with it. After I read it, I asked her if she wanted to read it, but she said she was too busy at the time. Then I lent it to another friend, asking her to return it, but I never got it back. So if I "lend" a book to anyone in the future, I would only do it if I didn't expect to get the book back.

[Chris]

I regularly lend books out, and I get them back about 99% of the time. In fact, twice I have loaned a book out and the book got destroyed (dropped in a bathtub and ripped apart by a cat!) - in both cases the borrower went out and bought me a new, hardcover copy of the book. I think I've loaned out The Help more than a dozen times. Second would be Diana Gabaldon's Outlander. I always tell myself I should keep a list of what I've loaned to whom, but I never do.

[michelle+8]

If I am finished reading a book then I'm done with it. If anyone wants to read it, I just give it to them.

[Diane]

I love to lend my books! It's one of the reasons I buy instead of check out from the library. However, after having people not return a couple of favorites I cataloged all my books and have a computer list. Whenever I loan a book to anyone I tag it in the computer with the date loaned. If I don't have it back in a month I start asking if they've finished with the book yet. Usually only takes a couple of hints till I get it back.

[Amy]

At this point, I really only lend out books when I really don't care to get them back. I've learned the hard way that most times, they don't find their way back.

It's sad, but one of my best friends is notorious for this, and her mother is the same way. Whenever they come to my house, they ALWAYS start perusing my bookshelves and I just cringe, saying to myself over and over 'please don't ask to borrow something, please don't ask to borrow something'! LOL

[Paula]

I use to lend books out - but they started coming back with coffee stains, stinking of cigarettes and stuff - at least those that came back. I now think of loaning a book like loaning money. If I don't care if I get the book back, I'll loan it out.

[Delphine]

dear all,
i thought i would share this quote that is fort a propos (that's the favorite quote I have on my author's page on goodreads!)

"Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me."
— Anatole France

[Paula]

Delphine wrote: "dear all,
i thought i would share this quote that is fort a propos (that's the favorite quote I have on my author's page on goodreads!)

"Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only b..."

Thanks Delphine for my morning giggle!

[Delphine]

haha, you are so welcome! ;-)

[Cyanemi]

I don't lend money or books. I'll give both out freely (BOOKS MORESO THAN MONEY!!) but once they are gone they are gone.

[Allison]

I don't have a lot of room in my house so I tend to give away most books after I have read them (except for a few favorites) to make room for more. I donate them to our Goodwill used bookstore or give them to a friend.

[Jonathan]

There are a precious few friends whom I'll permit to borrow my books, and even then, generally only the reasonably priced ones. (More for their benefit than anything else, since they know better than to damage any of them - inadvertently or otherwise - without promptly funding their replacement.)