Challenge: 50 Books discussion

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Friday Questions > Question #26: Something Borrowed

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message 1: by Danine (new)

Danine (dulcemea) Do you lend books to friends? Why or why not?

Thank you for the question, Ed :)

Have a great weekend!


message 2: by Kathleen (new)

Kathleen Duffy (kathleenduffy) I do, but only if I know that they love books and won't mess up mine. I've noticed over the years that if someone only reads now and then, they tend to bend my books and not care.


message 3: by Dini (new)

Dini I agree with Kathleen. Only lend to those who you can trust.


message 4: by Joy (new)

Joy | 84 comments I do lend books. And movies. :)

I also pass on books that I've finished with. It's part of the fun of the thing isn't it?


message 5: by Jonathan (new)

Jonathan (jonathanadams) | 631 comments All the time. Karma, people. Karma.


message 6: by Dawn (new)

Dawn rizzi (dawnie278) I am a big fan of sharing. I lend alot and if not i give away on trading sites. For me its a good why to try new authors that i might not like. I do get picky about lending my faves out.


message 7: by Tia (new)

Tia (proceedcyclone) | 41 comments I wish I could say that I share, but I am definitely possessive with my books. I'll lend to my sister, who is just as obsessive with the condition of her books as I am, and my boyfriend, though because we live in the same apartment, I don't have to "give it up," per se. Generally, it's not an issue, though, as very few have ever expressed interest in reading anything on my shelves.

I loaned a book to someone I was dating my freshman year of college and I didn't get it back until I was visiting him and his wife four years later and just happened to notice it on his bookshelf. He never even read the whole thing either.


TheReadingKnitter/ Kasey (thereadingknitter) The books I have I would lend to friends but usually I'm the one who borrows books and that's from the library.

I don't usually borrow books from friends because I find that then I feel rushed to read them. So instead I write the name down and it goes on my TBR list and then I get it from the library.


message 9: by Molly (new)

Molly | 330 comments When I give a book to someone to read I expect not to get it back and that they will pass it along to someone else or keep it or give it to a library or something. I don't give out my favorites that I like to re-read.


message 10: by Laurie (new)

Laurie (laurie0303) | 60 comments Danine wrote: "Do you lend books to friends? Why or why not?
- I'll lend books to my friends, or if there is one I think they will really like, I will give it to them. As for the why/why not part of the question, I guess it never dawned on me not to lend out a book that someone wants to read or that I'd think they'd like and enjoy.




message 11: by Kristi (new)

Kristi  | 576 comments I do. I am with Molly if I am done with a book I pass it on with no intention of getting it back. I have even helped start a lending library at work so that good books can find a good home.


message 12: by Tara (new)

Tara (tara3117) | 22 comments I'm a little territorial about my books. I only lend them to people I know will give them back. I did just lend my boyfriend's mom my entire Nicholas Sparks collection. I was a little nervous about it, but she was good to them! :-)


message 13: by Ann (new)

Ann (annwfl) I love to share books! Especially poetry. I re-gift some of my favorites. That way, I have no expectation of the book being returned, and let go of my possessiveness. Occasionally, I'll "loan" a book. But when I do, it's with my implicit acceptance that I may never see it again.


message 14: by Bishop (new)

Bishop (a_bishop) | 152 comments You people are nice. As a general rule, no, I don't. Not from my personal stash anyway. Yeah, I am a jerk.

That being said, I have several hundred paperbacks that I bought for the sole purpose of loaning at school (I'm a teacher).


message 15: by Alexandra (new)

Alexandra (alexandrans) | 73 comments Hmm...If someone I knew well and trusted asked, and it wasn't a particularly special book to me, then yes, I would. But to someone who I thought wouldn't take very good care of it, the answer would be sorry, but no. The thing about me is, if I don't think I'll re-read a book or I'm not sure if I like the author or something like that, I tend to get it from the library, and those are the books that I would be most likely to loan. But on occasion, yes, I will trust someone else with one of my books.


message 16: by Samara (new)

Samara Yes, I'll loan them out, but only to people I trust to return them in decent condition. I especially like to lend books that I'm really excited about to my friends and family so that we can talk about them after. Sort of an informal book club I guess...


message 17: by Jeff (new)

Jeff Celander | 13 comments Books are meant to be read. I loan my paperback books out to who ever wants to read them. When I travel I read one or more paperbacks and leave them in the airplane seat pockets. I include my name and Email and ask that each reader add a note to the cover. I have gotten kind notes from many people all over the world who have read those books. I have a library of hardcovers that I loan out to friends and family. A good book has dog eared pages, stains, dirty finger prints, and a wrinkled spine. It's a badge of honor that so many people have read it.


message 18: by Molly (new)

Molly | 330 comments What a cool idea Jeff! I'll try to remember to do that the next time I am traveling - that is about the only time I buy books - almost always use the library.


message 19: by Dawn (new)

Dawn rizzi (dawnie278) Molly wrote: "What a cool idea Jeff! I'll try to remember to do that the next time I am traveling - that is about the only time I buy books - almost always use the library."

JEFF GREAT IDEA I AM GOING TO TRY THAT. I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT ABOUT DESTROYING A BOOK. AS LONG AS THE NEXT PERSON CAN STILL READ IT WHOM CARES IF THERE IS A LITTLE TEAR HERE OR THERE OR A COFFEE STAIN.


message 20: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) I used to loan my books to my friends, but too many never came back to me. I don't lend books to anyone anymore. I gave a friend the book that changed my life, and she never gave it back. I had to get a new one.


message 21: by Aprile (new)

Aprile (aprileb) I only loan books to people who return them and return them in the condition they were in. I had one friend mess up one of my books so bad I asked them to buy me a new copy. I like lending books out I know they will enjoy, and discussing it afterwards.

I also lend books to my parents so often, that I never remember which are mine and which are theirs!


ஐ Briansgirl (Book Queen)ஐ (briansgirlkate) Jeff wrote: "Books are meant to be read."

You're right Jeff. I love what you're doing with your books after you're finished with them. Reminds me of something I read somewhere, some website where you register your book and write the website and tracking number inside the front cover, and then leave it someplace like a doctor's waiting room, etc. Next person can go to the website, and log in where they found it and where they are leaving it after they read it and you can track where the books been. Can't remember the site, just that I read about this somewhere.



message 23: by Dawn (new)

Dawn rizzi (dawnie278) BRIANS GIRL

IF YOU EVER REMEMBER THAT SITE PLEASE POST IT I THINK THAT IS SO COOL.


message 24: by Mary Todd (new)

Mary Todd (marytodd) | 924 comments I'd like the site, too. I loan, I borrow, I get a whole new bookshelf from doing that...some people don't want them back...I like my books to have journeys.


message 25: by Teri (new)

Teri G (teri_g) I don't usually loan out books because I so rarely get them back, and when I do, they're dog-eared and dirty and wrinkled. Maybe that's the sign of a loved book for some, but not necessarily for me, unless I'm the one who's done the loving, lol! I buy very few books because I get them for free from the library instead, so the ones I do buy, I really, really want. My husband loans out books, though, which is why, when I was searching for two books for our teenage son to read last night, I could find neither on our shelves. And our daughter, who is old enough to know better, "borrows" my books and loans them out without permission, which is why I can't find my treasured hardbound copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, which belonged to my mother. I miss that book. It had been read so often that the pages were as soft as a baby's face.

So no ... I don't often loan out my books. But if you loan one to me, you'll be sure to get it back, and in the condition in which you loaned it to me!

That said, Jeff, I love what you do with your books. It would be awesome to find an unexpected book in an airplane! I would so send you an email if I found one of yours ...


message 26: by Ashli (last edited Feb 03, 2009 11:27AM) (new)

Ashli Lewis (muchfaith22) I am super protective of my books! The only way I will lend someone a book, is if I really trust them, and know them, and know that they will give it back, and in good condition! I only buy my favorites, most of the time, so I also keep a running list of all my books and movies (I'm the same way with borrowed movies), and I mark who and when I loan it out, so I know exactly where it is! I learned my lesson with a movie, and it's now gone, never to see again, and it was a favorite. :(


message 27: by Molly (new)

Molly | 330 comments Can't you rent/borrow/buy that movie again somewhere else? I can see that it would be annoying if someone never returned what was clearly a loaner - but unless it was a home movie I am assuming it wasn't the only copy in existence.


message 28: by Kirsten (new)

Kirsten (dollydagger) I lend out books depending on if I think the person I'm lending it to will appreciate it.
I owe it karmically to lend out books. I wouldn't have been exposed to most of my favorites if it weren't for the kindness of lending books.


message 29: by Aprile (new)


message 30: by Lauren (new)

Lauren If I didn't like the book I will lend it to pretty much anyone, since I don't care if I get it back.

If I enjoy a book I develop a strange attachement to it. In this case I will only lend it to someone I trust with it.


message 31: by Lisa (new)

Lisa I only loan books that I know I don't necessarily want back. If they make their way back, great. Then I'll send it on to another person. If I really want to keep the book, I just recommend it!


message 32: by Molly (new)

Molly | 330 comments Aprile wrote: "The website is http://www.bookcrossing.com/"

Thanks Aprile - that is an incredible idea for books that you don't want any longer - what a fun concept.


message 33: by Matt R. (new)

Matt R. (matt2009) I loan books to people but I usually need to remind people months later to return when they are finished. I swap books at the library and swap online - keeping the books in circulation for all to enjoy. My bookshelf at home is mostly books I have not read so there is always a book "on deck".


message 34: by Severine Bambang (new)

Severine Bambang | 56 comments Hmm...
I usually lend books to people that I trust.
What I mean with trust is my book will be back in the same condition.
I really take care of my books, so it makes me fuss when some people return my books with stain or wrinkled.
It happened also that sometimes people didn't return my books.
Since that time, I'm very protective with my books, especially my English collection
I only lend one book at a time for one person and I regularly check the progress.




message 35: by Ed (new)

Ed (ejhahn) | 235 comments Wow! Two of my suggested questions made the cut. I feel strongly about this issue.

I have come to the conclusion that rather than lend a book to someone, I will give it to them. I had too many experiences where the borrower never returned the book(s)and I ended up losing a friend (maybe that's a good thing).

If I care enough about the person that I want them to read something, I give it. My only suggestion is that, when they finish it, they give it to someone else.

I have a couple friends here in Hong Kong that are "readers" and we regularly give each other books that we liked.

I'm also a member of Bookmooch.com where I give books to people who really want them and allows me to "mooch" books I really want to read. It's lots of fun. Check it out.

Now a gross but personal over-generalization, paraphrasing Ben Franklin. "Don't lend anything to someone you don't want to risk ending up resenting."




message 36: by Christie (new)

Christie My mom and I share books. As a rule, we return hard covers to each other but we pass on paperbacks.


message 37: by Danine (new)

Danine (dulcemea) I am excited to lend books and fail to realize that there is a small possibility that I may lose the book forever. I have a personal check out method. Basically, I write down who borrowed it on what day and when I need to hire a book bounty hunter to collect it.

I lend books to close friends.

If I happen to lend books to people who look suspicious I make sure the book is easily replaceable at a low cost. Most importantly I don't get a sinking feeling when it leaves my hands.




message 38: by Eva (new)

Eva I tend to be possessive about my books. I'll lend to my close friends, but otherwise, I'd rather buy someone a copy of a book than lend my copy.


message 39: by MB (What she read) (last edited Feb 19, 2009 08:26PM) (new)

MB (What she read) I loan only to immediate family members. I know I'll get them back that way.

I've decided not to lend to anyone else. I've had too many bad experiences with people "forgetting" to return them. Then I'm so ticked, I can't forget about it, and it comes between our friendship. The topper was when one friend moved out of state with my entire collection of a favorite author--many of which were out of print. I ended up replacing all my copies. I <3 Alibris!

I'd rather keep the friends AND my books. (They can always check them out from the Library.)


message 40: by Norma (new)

Norma | 31 comments I give away 98% of the books I read to make room for new ones.

However, the books I decide to keep (for whatever reason) I do not loan out!


message 41: by Tayla36 (new)

Tayla36 | 274 comments I have lent books three times in my life to three different people. Only once did I get it back.

On the flip side of that, twice I have borrowed books from someone else and only once returned.


message 42: by Sue (new)

Sue Slayton | 27 comments Absolutely! I LOVE to share the good feelings or intriguing thoughts that have been provoked by a book with others.


message 43: by Rachel (new)

Rachel Brand I lend books to my mum (who I still share a house with, so they don't really go too far) and my mum's best friend's daughter, who is 14. I've given her quite a few of my old teenage books, but she's grown up a bit so we've started exchanging books. She's very careful with them, which is good as I can be a bit pernickety about the condition of my books!

I like lending books to people so that I can discuss them! And because sometimes I'll read a book and just know that my mum will like it.


message 44: by [deleted user] (new)

I love to lend books to my friends, but only if I deem them trustworthy. My Twilight book suffered the consequences of a ranbuctious reader.


message 45: by Leshawn (new)

Leshawn | 460 comments I love to lend books to friends. Unfortunately,I always want them to love them as much as I do. That's a lot of pressure on them and on me. Not to mention the threat of disappointment!
As I am nearing the saturation point for books in my apartment,(you know when you are tripping over piles of books because the shelves are full and your Beloved can't fit in the bed because of the overflow?)
I've begun giving the books to friends!


message 46: by Mrsku (new)

Mrsku | 37 comments I love to recommend books but I don't like to lend them to just anyone. I let my daughters read them (except my eldest who takes it away to University with her and never brings them back) and my best friend who a book freak like myself.


message 47: by Cam (new)

Cam Mrsku wrote: "I love to recommend books but I don't like to lend them to just anyone. I let my daughters read them (except my eldest who takes it away to University with her and never brings them back) and my b..."

I'm very similar, will recommend to those that I've seen that don't look after their own books, but will happily lend to like minded friends. Recently took a friend off my 'lend' list that not only returned the book like it had been run over with a lawn mower, but had actually written my name inside the front cover in biro, not even pencil (so at least I could rub it out). That's just basic vandalism as far as I'm concerned!


message 48: by Mrsku (new)

Mrsku | 37 comments Cam: wrote: "Mrsku wrote: "I love to recommend books but I don't like to lend them to just anyone. I let my daughters read them (except my eldest who takes it away to University with her and never brings them ..."

Ha it's really nice to hear I'm not the only one with a 'lend list'. I've recently been trying to enlarge my list but it turned out bad. I recently allowed myself to borrow a book from a friend and when they gave it to me it turned out to be a library book so I had to read it before it was due or keep renewing it! Bad manners in my book, but oh well what can I do.


message 49: by Ed (new)

Ed (ejhahn) | 235 comments I do not lend books to friends...or enemies for that matter. I give them the book, for in the past loans of books have had a negative impact on friendships.

If I want to re-read the book, I buy a copy.


message 50: by Jen (new)

Jen (twilightcamaro) | 37 comments It depends on the person. My mother in law had all my twilight books, her and about 5 other people read then and I still had them back in 2 weeks. Another friend has had my 2nd copy of Brisnger for 6 months.


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