Portal RP discussion

"So you thought that by putting me in stasis and nearly traumatizing me would cure me of my 'irrational' fear of it? My God, that has to be the dumbest thing I've heard all week."

"It works with everyone else, it seems."

"Does putting a person with arachnophobia into a room full of spiders cure them of it? No. It only scares the living soul out of them. Same with me, only it's stasis."

"It helps them, because then they realize that they will have to deal with it sooner or later."

I sighed, and leaned back against the wall.

"Just please don't do it again! I don't exactly want to go paranoid down here..."

Ashley slowly trotted back over to me, and then sat down right next to me. I started petting her more out of habit than anything.

"I won't." She said simply, "And one does not 'go' paranoid, they 'get' paranoid. The correct usage would be 'go insane'. Of course, synonyms for insane would include; crazy, delusional, certifiable, or even possibly 'bonkers'," she said in a bit of an upbeat tone.

I just rolled my eyes.

"Consider that a grammatical failure on my part."

"That's what I just got done with doing. Considering the incorrect grammar on you," She said, almost sounding happy- considering her facility was falling apart.

I faintly smiled to myself, relieved because GLaDOS finally sounded like she was cheering up, even if it was because she was pointing out one of my failings. I stayed silent simply because I didn't have anything else to say.

Ashley suddenly, for some reason, decided to walk away from my petting and go sit directly beneath the nearest camera.

GLaDOS focuses the camera on Ashley.

Ashley stared intently at the camera, her tail starting to slap back and forth. Her head bobbed slightly, and I suddenly had a pretty good idea of what she was planning to do.

"Ash-!"

She jumped straight up, reaching the height of her jump a foot and a half below the camera. She flailed in midair for a fraction of a second, then managed to somehow climb/propel herself the rest of the way up the wall to come to a stop on top of the camera. She wobbled there, then glanced down at me and mewed.

"What a strange cat. Now how am I to get her down from there?" She asked, sounding a bit tired.

I frowned, watching Ashley with an appropriate amount of nervousness.

"Just... don't worry about it. She'll come down on her own. It just might take her a while if she likes the spot." I rolled my eyes with the last comment. "And unless the camera isn't attached to the wall very well, she shouldn't cause much problems being up there, right?"

"Well, they are very vaguely attached. By wires and crude nails drilled in. It's fine. I'm sure your cat isn't a complete glutton."

Ashley had somehow managed to lay down on top of the camera, her eyes now closed. It didn't look like she would be going anywhere anytime soon.

"She's pretty light with all her spazz attacks," I said, then fingered the bandage on my face once again. Both of the scratches I had on me hardly hurt now.

GLaDOS refrained from moving the camera at all, letting the cat lie there. "Your cat has seizures...?"

I rolled my eyes, and only just managed to keep my hand from coming up to start a glorious relationship with my face.

"No, no... spazz attacks. As in randomly running off for no apparent reason and generally acting like a goof. Like when she decided to throw herself at my face because of the catnip.

"The catnip doesn't really influence the spazzes that much, by the way, it only makes then more frequent and a bit more ridiculous."

"So she's a normal animal. How nice. You realize animals are unpredictable, right?"

"They're very much predictable if you get to know one..." I said, mumbling now. Ashley had laid her head down, and looked for all the world like she was asleep.

"Doubtful. Animals are primitive, no matter how much you train them or care for them."

...And cue the urge to repeatedly slam my head into a wall.

"God, you're like one of those people who still think animals are like little organic machines. Each and every one has their own personality, as every single person who's ever spent time with any animal will gladly tell you."

"But they are. They're just skins of blood and fat and bones, just like humans are. They're just living things. And I have no need for an opinion on animals and certainly not a second one."

I sighed, loudly, but didn't say anything else. Ashley somehow rolled onto her side without falling off the camera, and stuck a foreleg out, getting comfortable.

GLaDOS gives an audible "hmph".

I rolled my eyes again, and played with the sleeve of my shirt a little, not really feeling like saying anything else. GLaDOS didn't seem the type that you could sway the opinion of easily.

But she kept insisting that she didn't have an opinion on anything, which was more than odd.

"You know, cats shed. With fur. Everywhere. And then they regrow it and shed more. If I kept that cat around here, it would shed every day of its life until it died."

"She doesn't even shed that bad compared to other cats..."

"Well then, clearly, you haven't been exposed to crates full of albino cats for testing."

I was about to say something in response when Ashley's head suddenly shot up, and she almost fell off the camera. She scrabbled at it and scratched it up quite badly in an attempt to stay on, but once she got her balance back she only jumped back down into my arms.

"Ashley... what the...?"

She looked up at me worriedly, then mewed and glanced at the camera.

"Your cat is probably having another seizure. Cats do not have fears, they are merely animals.."

"And you know what? Computers aren't supposed to have fears, either. They're only computers." I shot the camera a glare. "And I've already told you, they aren't seizures. They're spazz attacks."

"Technically, I am a human. I'm just inside a machine. So, really, I have fears. Not that I have many. You know what? Forget I said that. I don't have fears and I don't feel disgusted by your cat's presence. Apparently to you I'm just metal."

"I... no, just..." I struggled for words, something that I rarely did. My stupid temper...

"Wait, what?" A human?

"I already told you. Forget it. Now." She said, almost politely.

I squirmed a little where I was sitting.

"But why?" I said, and then inwardly cursed myself for sounding so much like a little kid.

"Because."

"...Because. That isn't a very good reason."

"Do I really need one?"

"Yeah, I think you kinda do."

"Alright. Ask away. And try to actually make sense this time. You know, being specific and all."

"If you're a human, then why did you kill everyone who worked here? And why do you hate us so much? And who were you?"

Okay, that might have been a bit of overkill.

"Part one: because they were the murderers. I was only trying to protect myself, and my intelligence.I'm far more superior to them in every aspect, anyway. Part two: because you think that anything that is possibly a predator must be monitored. They flooded my head with painful, dull, unwise things. Like having a personality disorder, and that was how I was forced to exist. With cores of different... 'personalities'... Part three is nothing you need to know."

"They... they treated you like that!? I mean, I had heard rumors, but I didn't think they were true... it just doesn't make sense."

I shifted Ashley in my lap so that she was laying down.

"And I may not need to know, but I want to..." I added as an afterthought, mumbling.

"Don't I somehow have at least the right to refuse to tell you something? Especially private tihngs Pertaining to me."

I shrugged. "I was never forcing you... just saying. It's just that I find it kinda odd that you'd feel that way about who you were... are... whichever."

"If you want to know so badly, go find out yourself."

"...You're joking, right?"

"Under the circumstances, I would think you would know already that I don't joke.."

"Where the heck am I even supposed to start...!?"

She paused for a moment, "That's the point," She groaned.