Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

Excellent, M!

and it's still funny, thank you M :) I tried to write something about a school performance but I couldn't put the right words together.

School and office verses are among my favorites!

Haha - I started, paused, rewrote, deleted, tried again....and realised the ice was just too thin ;)

exactly, Ryan! hahaha

Lol! M, I remembered some haiku involving office supplies :P

The judge retired to
his hyperbaric chambers,
weighing 'ifs' and 'buts'.
Knocking back a stiff drink, he
concluded that Jules was nuts.

(This one’s loaded! Hyperbaric chambers, the clever reference to If ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts. How to follow it?)

He’d tried nut cases
of many sorts but disliked
those involving tortes.

'Nut cases'! Hah! That is gold, M. And touché with torte/tort, very clever.

Thanks, I was happy with how that one came together.

Thank you, Ryan! Torts was a subject I enjoyed, though I did poorly in it.

He tried the fresh tarts
in front of a blue blood judge
who gave him Tom's thumb.

[Sorry, that is so bad!]

Lol, it's not Guy :)

Thank you, Leslie, but it certainly is not good.

Of the judicial
arts, most delicate is that
of probing fresh tarts.

hi folks, sorry to break in... and I might get into trouble for putting this here, not sure where else.

you all probably know about the super typhoon that hit the Philippines recently. my friends and family are all fine back home, but there are thousands feared dead and more than 200,000 survivors scattered in the many islands that were hit - the country being an archipelago. some places are not being mentioned in the news because their communications are down. if you or anyone you know can donate some funds, no matter how small, an easy way to do it is via the Philippine Red Cross website which has a PayPal link. http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate

dear moderators, i apologize for the intrusion. how many semi-haiku must I post to make up for this? or do i have to walk the plank? :)

I wore the plank out, and they haven’t replaced it yet.

No problem, Jim. So good to hear that your family is fine. And thanks to M for his willingness to be the WSS's designated plank walking scapegoat.

Excellent continuation, M!

Thank you, Jim :) and your haiku has been missed!

Your haiku made me smile, Guy! :) so, I think it did good to continue the excellent thread :)

These are very funny, Ryan, M and Guy. Your humor and wit have no boundary :P

Good morning! :)

Good afternoon, Leslie! And thank you for your kind words.


With grave mien
the judge tapped his firm gavel
and set the tarts free
to taste or to be tasted
by the young, the old and the wise.

I can't seem to not write doggerel, right now. I think with that I deserve to be expunged from the WSS! Sorry. I can be made the plank walking scapegoat with this. Sigh. It's been good to know you.

The tarts, with fuchsia
hair, were vain, but the judge’s
dog had a chow mane.

LOL.

hehe, Guy! I'm sorry, but nobody's going to expunge you from this ship, though, I'm not sure with the mice :P

Thank you Guy and M, your haiku makes me smile :)

Thank you, Leslie! Guy, your haiku are among the most original.

Thank you M and Leslie. Original? Or just doggerel? Tough distinction, but I'll take it as a high compliment, tonight. Thank you.

.


The judge stood to leave
but his wife, who wore his pants,
asked him to sit down
and share with her the tart truth
about the plums he judges.

Lol!

"What's special about
this tart, that you can't leave it
alone?" asks his wife.

“Refrain,” he cried, “from
making puns about hot tarts,
cream pastries, and buns?”

hmmmmmmmmmm...........

LOL!

The thin man stood still
by the glassed-off pies displayed.
He texted his wife.

Thank you, Guy! :D

A message covered
with sugar to sweeten the
pill of chest-deep lies.

Such a treasure chest,
with pinkish eyes, can wreak an
upright man’s demise!

M!!!!!! I'm too slow..

LOL! M! Sheesh, so funny!


The judge saw the racks
and wrecks that did come to wrack
on a woman's rack.

[[Sorry about that one! Sheesh.]]

(What fireworks! That kind of wordplay requires a mind different from the kind I have. I’ll have to be content to follow with something tame.)

The state’s witness, she
was trouncing. The points she made
were firm and bouncing.

The collar of shirt
Had a corral lipstick stain
Whose to be the blame?

(Good continuation, Estella!)

She turns a blind eye
as she scrubs the collar with
a bit of her strength.

Only sins the most
immoral leave lipstick clues
the shade of coral.

What man thinks as sin
is embraced by life's nature
as its own rebirth.

Fighting to contain
his mirth, he embraced his sins
as signs of rebirth!

Left broke by seven
angry wives, he signed up for
another nine lives.

And when he opened
his eyes, he was on the lap
of an old lady.

“Hate to run,” he said.
“I’m very late for prayers at
the monastery.”

His monastic life
was filled with unsurpassed joy:
his wife was a boy.


[[omg! I don't know where these come from.]]

Lol! Guy!! :D

Leslie, you laughed at that? I would have thought you would have expunged me for that.

I am trying hard not to laugh. No, I wouldn't expunge you for that :P

:-) You are being awfully generous. Thank you.

Guy, Leslie, M - these are magnificent! I've had a long week and have just settled back with your writing and a cold Heineken. Perfect!