Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

M wrote: "Frank’s drink and his life
were in their dregs. Alex sighed,
“My, what a stallion!”

She yawned and stretched her
long, pale legs. “Next time, though, I
want an Italian.”"

RotFL! M, too funny.
And excellent reply, Al!

Thanks, Guy!

It was a great way to start my work day. Which I now turn to do. Lots of alligators snapping around my nose right now.

"Oh, Good Grief!" She mourned.
"Was there ever such drivel
from a poet's pen?"

No disrespect meant,
but none of our offerings
should be called "haiku."

This is all in jest. (Could this be a test?)
But this is my very best (Must I do my very best)
to trump all the rest. (to outdo the rest?)

I am in such pain,
(I believe we're all insane)
What else can I do but complain? I mean, really, all you writers and poets, what excuse do you have - or do I have, for that matter? In truth, I probably have far better excuses for my poor attempt than any of the rest of you. You are all true writers, but alas! I am not. You should all know better. I can only conclude (in five syllables this time):

Our writing's in vain.

Cheers! :-D
Paula

RotFL, Paula! Excellent buffoonery masking as Haiku.


Real haiku poets
with lightest hands write the truth
of breath's transience.

Haiku wannabes
Embody stiff lifelessness
Puffed with importance.

Hi Al. Ribs still wanting to give birth to man?

The joke is on man
Who from a woman's rib came
distended but cute.

Al! I just got back from there, and so I had not. I've been running around all day, just got back.

Yikes, you've been hard on yourself lately. Get some rest, eat/drink plenty of chicken soup, load up on garlic, and get well.

I'd hug you back, but it would hurt your ribs too much. Get some sleep!

Things had started to
unravel. The stern-faced judge
brought down the gavel

with a bang. “Order
in the court! My patience is
growing very short.”

The prosecution
said, “You’ve asserted this stuff
is merely drivel.”

“Yes,” Paula blurted,
then gave M a look that made
him want to shrivel.

“Tell the jury just
how you knew” he smiled, “they’d been
writing fake haiku.”

Guy was next to take
the stand, and, questioned, he soon
corroborated

what Paula’d alleged.
“It wasn’t planned,” he shifted
and quickly stated.

The D. A. read: “. . . such
hacks embody what’s lifeless,
with importance puffed.”

The deputies grabbed
M, who looked shoddy, and led
him away handcuffed.

RotFL! Psssst, hi M!

Please don’t guess, and I’m afraid to ask. Morning, Alex! I think owls are beautiful. Owls and hawks are my favorite birds.

How come I didn’t get to be the lion? I always wind up getting the part of the gopher. Oh, well. I guess I should be off and go tear up a golf course, like the gopher in that movie with Bill Murray.

I think that no bird
ever flew as gracefully
as simple haiku;

haiku snapshotting
the ageless earth, the wonders
pimpling its girth.

Haiku, that navel-
gazes all day, lifting its
syllables to pray;

that, springlike, sports green;
autumnal, red; blown leaves, its
feet; a cave, its head.

It’s bosom, I’m bound
to mention, is perky and
worth close attention!

Only a chef can
make a roux, but even I
can cook up haiku.

What is this 'hall' that you keep talking about?

It’s kind of hard to describe.

Alex (Al) wrote: "Okay, I'll tell you. He was a gopher. I couldn't help but think if it had something to do with him saying that he was once a gofer for some office. Hehe, anyway.

It was a strange and colorful, hap..."

Al, that is funny! And, even funnier, notifications aren't working right again, and I just wrote, fushigi-like, about the humour of dreams in another discussion. LoL.

An owl, eh? LoL. Probably means that whatever comes from my fingers is both for the birds and something no-one can give a hoot over! LoL. I am so glad that your dream self provided you with humour, one of the greatest medicines on the planet.

It’s a sort of X-rated version of the W.S.S., but without the weekly contests.

So that's where M gets his daily dose of steam. Haha. Is it on Greads?

I was just trying to scare her off.

M wrote: "...I think that no bird
ever flew as gracefully
as simple haiku;

haiku snapshotting
the ageless earth, the wonders
pimpling its girth...."

M your Haiku is funny and beautiful in equal measures! I would write something, but instead will be elaborating on the fractional reserve system and money supply manipulation by central banks. This is, oddly enough, an even funnier topic, I assure you.

The pumpkin pie is almost ready to come out of the oven. Wow, does it smell good. The recipe we followed called for some Brandy, as well as the spices. I think that that's what I'll have for lunch today, with a strong cup of coffee. I might even whip some cream, although I don't need in any way shape or form, the calories.

Thank you, Guy! I love writing parodies. I’m supposed to be warming up chili. My wife will remind me before long.

I just went over there to preach the Gospel. Those people shouldn’t be writing that sort of thing.

I thought you were taking a nap.

XD Yeah, Al.

My eyebrows went up at that. They're not coming back down XD

Haha. Nothing.

What, wait! The pie's out!

Your mind’s been corrupted by your rooster? Do you mean by that what I think you mean? Alex!

LoL! Now I can't stop laughing. Time for lunch - not the pie, sigh!

Until today, I had never known when Canada celebrated Thanksgiving. Happy Jour de l’Action de grâce!

M, that is so funny! Just the opposite for us Canucks, as the hugeness of America's Thanksgiving will be more prominent here than is the Canadian one, which is very low-key.

Alex (Al) wrote: "Pst, Guy!!! Put some cinnamon and vanilla in your whipped cream. It tastes really good with pumpkin pie."

I will. Have you tried a hint of freshly ground nutmeg in whipped cream? Wow! That knocks it out of the park, but it needs to be fresh from the nutmeg seed, not pre-packaged powder.

No, I've never tried that. But it sounds delicious though!

Hi Kat!
It's been a while. I've been busy, so my WSS hasn't been up to par these days. The business has a couple of more weeks before it eases.

Give the fresh nutmeg a try, with real vanilla extract. Not too much, as fresh nutmeg is quite strong.

Back to debunking economic ideology. Night.

Al, we did! ML makes, seriously, the best turkey I've ever tasted. We drape it with bacon, and crisp it up at the end with the convection oven. The bread stuffing is to die for and, of course, mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts. Glass of wine, and for desert, pumpkin pie.

Did you have a good house sitting? And are you feeling better?

Okay, this is very obscure off of M's, but I'll blame it on the pie last night. It is now calling my name for breakfast, most persistently. With each sip of coffee, I hear it's siren call.


The busted haiku
Perked up with expressed thoughts of
New life unconstrained.

It's too far away. Good night Al! I'll send some youth your way XD

It's 10:30 here XD Have a good sleep.

Is it nighttime in Idaho? All the sunshine falls on Texas!

Nooo, it's morning XD

The haiku train wreck
crashed on the flatulent thoughts
of gibbous poets.

Looking forward to it, but now I'm going to bed. Hope you get some sleep. See you tomorrow.

There's nothing more harsh
with dread due than furious-
ly finding haiku!

lol.

M was sound asleep
in his bunk, dreaming of days
in A minor chords,

a girl’s youthful face,
an iron-bound trunk stowed there
on the dark floorboards.

Whose were those eyes whose
irises held the leaves of
lost summers, the red

leaves of fall? What could
have traced her name in evening’s
shadows on the wall?

The ship made spray of
the moonlit seas. Grommets strained
in the canvas sails.

The portholes caught the
Caribbean breeze, and the
mice told their old tales.

Thank you, Alex!

M, this is delightful! It is beautiful!

Thank you, Guy!

This in no way touch's M's graceful effort, but here's what I've got:



The black cat's tail flicked
with the dreaming frustration
of mice running free

before a light air
beneath the moonless clear stars
above the dark sea.

Guy, this is just what the doctor ordered!

LoL! It sounds like you have a very strange doctor indeed!