Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

Hahaha. That's hilarious. I can't stop laughing XD

Al! Al, who are you!? RoTFL. That was so funny my eyes are watering. I'm supposed to be working on my course, and you go and write something like ... well, I don't know what exactly. Still laughing!

Al, I'm going to kill you.
Actually, no. You DID say there was more.
But Sara wants to kill you. She says it's not proper your boyfriends spanks you.
Nikara says Sara doesn't know the first thing about proper.
I'm feeling awfully contradicted by my Muses...
So, just write more. Please???

YEAH!!!!!!

Al, this makes you sound like you are twelve! Is not being on the computer a religious requirement at your grandparents?

M wondered what was
occurring. Sounds came from his
belt-clipped transceiver--

familiar voices,
a scream blurring, Frank’s shouting
that he would leave her.

“Sounds like they’re at it
again,” Edward quipped. “She just
eats it up, I swear.”

Her tray loaded, the
waitress slipped, their sandwiches
flying everywhere.

M leapt from his chair
and caught her before, wild eyed,
she could hit the floor.

She threw her arms a-
round him, wrought, red faced, food
splotching what she wore.

“A chubby damsel
in distress!” the cook laughed till
he thought he would drop.

“Guess who gets to clean
up the mess--” the manager
told him. “Get the mop.”

From their tranceivers
came a din, a woman’s voice,
“There! Frank, more, oh, more!”

A slap. “Don’t you do
that again.” Silence. “Well, what
are you waiting for?”

The waitress, gasping,
asked, “What show is that? Is it
something rated X?”

Edward smirked. “I’m sure
I don’t know. Nothing’s on but
violence and sex.”

In a smoke-blackened
transporter room, CJ was
worried and sweating.

Mystified, he propped
his broom. The intercom was
on some strange setting.

By the captain’s bunk,
Frank glistened, unsuited and
ready to board her,

while decks down, CJ
listened to “Bertha’s Grill. May
I take your order?”

M, that was hilarious XD

Thank you, Kat! I’ve been having way too much fun, so not much yard work has gotten done. (Actually, not any.) How do you like college life? Or have you started yet?

Alex, this is spectacular! I just got my wife to read it, and she howled. Then she asked, “Is this in the Hall or in the W.S.S.?” She scrolled up and said, “Oh, my!”

Alison: See, Frank is just “a worn out old fart.”
M: I’m afraid I can’t stay for this conversation. I have to mow.
(Alison smiles mischievously.)

Thank you, Alex! I hope you are, too. Anything I write is bound to seem feeble compared with what you just posted.

Mesmerized by the
fervent sound the transceivers
crackled, hissed, and spat,

all the diners soon
clustered around the table
where the pirates sat.

Soon they were betting
on who would win, some standing
by with furrowed brow,

all excitedly
listening in, till they heard,
“Baby, don’t quit now!”

A lady grinned. “Hand
it over, Bart.” He gave her
a five, with a groan--

“Jeez. He’s just some
old fart.” A girl sneered, “Left her
to finish alone!”

M glanced at Edward,
then at Kat. When the flustered
waitress brought their food,

she asked, “Why are you
dressed like that? Are you trekkies
with an attitude?”

Edward explained. “We
came from a play. We have an
impetuous boss.”

M eyed her. “It’s been
quite a day. Ketchup. And bring
some Tabasco sauce.”

Okay. Here goes.



Kat looked at the sounds
emanating from the wall
and sighed, head in hands.

"When will they finish?"
M questioned with a glare; "It's
interfering with our plans."

Laughing, Ed pounded
the table, "Not soon, I bet,"
placing the coins down

as groans and moans came
down from above, then a shout.
Kat looked with a frown

at the transceiver,
the dirty, whore-y, gross thing,
as it transmitted

the deeds that the old man
and the young, agile captain
did in her own bed.

Wow, Kat! The writing is so good, it seems conversational, completely natural. I knew you would be good at this.

“Hey, you guys!” the voice
of Ajay crackled faintly
on the subspace band.

Edward was putting
a burger away. French fries
dangled from Kat’s hand.

M reached down and keyed
the device. “Ajay, where are
you?” he asked, concerned.

“A harem, I’ve guessed--
and very nice,” the calm voice
said. “That’s all I’ve learned.”

Alex, I hope you’re having a fun holiday! Kat, I like your new title.


Said Ajay, “It’s like
a resort, but the strange food
has made me queasy.”

“These fries,” Kat keyed a
retort, “could be used to launch
ships, they’re so greasy.”

Edward, finding that
line funny, almost choked on
what he was chewing.

The waitress took their
Old Earth money. M could smell
the coffee brewing.

Thanks M, then Al, then M again :D

Al, I like yours :D

You too M. It'll take me a while to counter.

Wow, M, Kat and Alex! I've missed much here. This is the most entertaining thread here in the W.S.S and you are all professionals at this form!

I was following the haiku thread in the poetry group, and that's when I realized the workings of the traditional haiku form. I have to admit that I am quite embarrassed of whatever I posted as haiku's. I guess I'l have to read more before taking the plunge!

Thank you, Ajay! I have a lot of fun writing these. For me, it’s like working a puzzle. For instance, in #2193, I started with something like what’s below, then sketched it in. Counting the syllables becomes almost automatic.

Ajay says it’s a
resort
he feels queasy

Kat made some sort of
retort
french fries are greasy

Edward
thinks it’s funny
what’s he chewing?

sunny honey money
brewing stewing

Hole guacamole and kowabunga! M, Al, Kat, these are so funny! RotFL.

Welcome to the WSS Haiku thread Kat. Superbly done!

Ajay, jump in. Have fun. You really are free to write exactly what you want. We've been known to pervert the form, occasionally too. If you haven't read through the whole thread, I still recommend the drunken priest pissing in the graveyard series.

M, I don't write like that either.

M took us on a far trek
of mindless matter
turning words from class to dreck.

LoL! Sorry about that. Best I can do here at my work desk, with 200+ old e.mails to be done.

Morning Al. Hey! Why aren't you in class, learning?

Arriving at the statistical probability that she would be working on a short story rather than sitting in statistics class, by her deeds she proved her faith in the numbers and verified their predictive value.

I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think we should come up with an interesting plot and fill in a lot of the details beforehand, though.

XD you guys are notorious.

I couldn't agree more, Alex! I like how you refer to the other group as 'that Poetry! group! Lol.

That's exactly why I love the W.S.S. Being here is like attending one's favorite teacher's lecture. :)

Thanks a lot, M! You have simplified the form in your explanation. I think I did get a grasp of the method now, I'l try one soon.

Thanks, Guy! I'l definitely continue to write what comes to me. Then I'l try to fit it into this form. Wow, I'l read that asap. What else can be more interesting than a drunken priest pissing in the graveyard! Lol. Except ofcourse the portly nun series!

mmm fig newtons. I haven't had those in years.

Me, either.

“Mmm,” mumbled Kat. “Fig
newtons. I haven’t had those
in years.” The pirates

left Bertha’s Grill. M
slipped on some crutons. Ed-
ward laughed, close to tears.

“The worst thing I’ve had
to face is some crutons,” M
swore, shaking his head.

“I’m ready to get
out of this place,” Kat keyed her
transceiver and said.

The next thing they knew,
they were beaming up. There stood
smoke-blackened CJ

with a wiring scheme
he’d been dreaming up. He sighed.
“It’s been a long day.”

*



"What happened to you?"
M asked, coughing as the
smoke entered his lungs.

Drawing a finger
down his blackened face, CJ
said "It all went wrong;"

Kat, I figured out why you use the asterisk. Brilliant!


M thanked poor CJ.
“I’ll be hanged if I’ll risk my
life to make Frank rich

while he’s helping our
boss get banged. I’d much rather
have a club sandwich!”

CJ’s line lit on
the intercom. “Captain, the
crew are safely back.”

“Thanks, CJ!” she said,
then with her palm gave Frank’s rear
a resounding smack.

She smiled, relieved, her
tone like ice. “If CJ can
fix the transporter,

maybe he could wire
up a device to put you
in working order.”

LOL! I like this! You guys are crazy! I appreciate that you paint me as a person that is good with his hands. In real life I can't even do the laundry let alone fix a transporter! :D

You guys write haiku so naturally.

The asterisk is so necessary :D



"Is there anything
we can do?" asked Edward, his
eyebrow raised in question.

CJ replied, with
a tone of chastisement, "I've
already begun

to rewire the thing,
you'd just blow it up, and I've
already done that."

M looked blank as he
felt for his transceiver. Where
could it be? Maybe . . .

It wasn’t on his
belt. They heard the waitress’s
voice: “Hello, there, baby.”

Oh, goodness. That is tooooooo hilarious!

Wow. Now you're doing it in regular speak too!

“Don’t worry. I can
beam it back, from its signal.
Watch this!” said CJ.

He worked the controls.
Her jaw slack, the waitress ap-
peared, holding a tray.

The waitress stood there
speechless, gazing all around
her, with fearful eyes.

CJ gaped. “That was
amazing!” M smirked. “Did I
order breasts and thighs?”

*



Kat snickered into
her hand, "Who else can you beam
up, 'Oh brilliant one'?"

Edward chimed in, "I'd
like a tall, busty, blonde, please,
maybe a stripper?"

I’m trying to imagine Edward saying that. Great haiku, Alex and Kat!

I can’t believe I wrote #2234, must less posted it.

Haha. He probably wouldn't, but it was fun to write.

I liked it. Hilarious :D

“We must send her back,”
warned CJ, “while I’ve got the
location keyed in.”

The waitress smiled in
a wan way, in tight pants she
had almost peed in.

She stared and stood there
stock still, and at last handed
M his transceiver,

then was beamed back to
the Grill, where the fry cook re-
fused to believe her.

Oh, that's good M :D

Thanks, Kat!

Oh, well.

Ah, but does Al get her soccer star?

“Where’s Dolph?” roared soccer
coach Green from the sidelines. “What’s
all this going-on?”

Jerry shrugged. “Never
seen nothin’ like it. He was
here. Then he was gone.”

CJ pushed buttons.
Blond and tall, a good-looking
youth beamed up, confused.

Alex led him by a
leash down the hall, to her suite,
where he would be used.

oooh, It looks like she does :D

XD



The crew watched them go
stifling laughter as they heard
Al smack soccer stars butt.