Julio’s review of The Straight Boyfriend (Loving You, #3) > Likes and Comments

Yeah that blurb makes me all kinds of uncomfortable... :/

Rolling my eyes because the blurb even manages to fit in the ubiquitous 'it's not about labels' as a get out of jail free card. Because it's not like someone in this situation would ever find the fact that there was a label like bisexual that described them and carved out space for their holistic existence comforting and self affirming like I did. Instead they must overcome their fear of them. By sticking a heteronormative self erasing label in bold on the cover apparently.

To add insult to injury - she is also just a shitty writer. Like - nope X 2 and -7678678785 stars.

I don't even know what I'm side-eyeing harder: that it is the same old ~romance~ with toxic, bigoted, and terrible ideas about male queerness OR that she's going to make money by trolling all of us who called her out a few months ago.

Like Sara Beth said, she's also a horrible writer. #Ughcankillthisbookwithfire #WishIcouldgiveitnegativefivemillionstars >:(

Yes to everything you're saying but particularly to this notion of GFY BS! I've had a shelf for this trope but it has always sat like a rock in my stomach and as soon as I have an hour to kill I'm getting rid of it and putting all these a**holes in a big, long Bi or just plain Gay Gay Gay list. Own it people. I've never read this person and am surely not going to now unless I'm in need of getting Hulk rage.

See, dude, I don't know how you can pop off about this without even having read the book - which, by the way, isn't even out yet. But that's really not your m.o is it? I mean, you have designated yourself the social justice warrior for all thing gay related and so you go around and castigate authors and their work. Now, while I feel you on some of the things that you've said, you're really not the rock the church was built on. And I really feel the need to let you know, that some of the crap that you're doing is really repugnant. I mean, borderlining on cowardice. It's really awesome to pick on women, right? does that make you feel like a big man? That you can scare people and upset them so bad that they think about hurting themselves? I mean, is that what 'real men' do? Cause see, I don't think you're about that life. I think you're really nothing but a really insecure mouth that people sort of gravitate to - kind of like the sideshow at a circus. So, before you talk about swimming in sewage, you should probably look to get yourself out of it. I think you're a bully, and I think you're a punk who gets his jollies off on being as cruel as can be. When some gay kid get's bashed for being gay, and you get all kinds of mad about that incident, I want you to think REAL long and hard about the persona you've created around yourself. Which is honestly one of fear. But there is a big difference between those women you talk so much shit about and me, see, I don't live off of my royalties and because of that, I'm not afraid of you. Several months ago you talked shit about me and said I was a misogynist, yet, the irony of ironies is that I am here defending a woman when you're skull dragging her through the mud. So, now that these tables have turned, sir, how does it feel?

i could explain how wrong you are by means of reiterating for the six quintillionth time how it is possible to be a gay boy and still not be a bully to the heterosexual women whose appropriating, erasing, and gutting fictions are abject expressions of their privilege in an industry they dominate.

i could tell you that licking the asses of your oppressors doesn't save you from the shit they'll inevitably deposit into it.

i can tell you that incoherent and frankly not-at-all encouraging writing on social media does more to undermine your pretensions to the skribbler arts than any dismissive criticism i could level upon you.

but honestly it's the notion that the people who write books that erase me and my friends and who get in trouble for saying that the only queer is the one born with a white dick are somehow, somehow cowering in shanty camps of The Julio Disapproved, contemplating suicide because a faggot on the internet thinks they write terrible books—

—the notion that you are here now, not to vent bitter and deeply personal malice at your randomly selected internet enemy who never said a word to you until you called him a literary terrorist—

here, today, defending a book that isn't out because i decided not to read it, as if that's the same as lobbing a nuke at aleppo—

—you! here to speak for these ruined, broken people, as if they do not dominate, erase, abuse, and direct violence towards me—towards us—

honestly, i think all i can say about it all is...

...how odd.

F.E. wrote: "See, dude, I don't know how you can pop off about this without even having read the book - which, by the way, isn't even out yet. But that's really not your m.o is it? I mean, you have designated y..."

Another day, another opportunity for authors to inappropriately insert themselves into review space.

This is Julio’s GR profile. I’m pretty sure he can ‘pop off’ about whatever he damn well pleases. It is completely within his purview to do so, whether he’s read the book or not. I don’t expect him, or anybody, to read something that the blurb suggests is incredibly offensive or hurtful, in order to form an opinion about why they WON’T be reading it.

I don’t speak for Julio. He is perfectly capable of doing that for himself. Just as the women you are so strangely protective of have voices of their own, too. Big voices. Much bigger then Julio’s or any other reviewer for that matter.

Somebody is punching down here, and it’s not him, and it’s not me.

It wasn’t actually mandatory for you to insert yourself into this conversation, but sure, go for it. I see you’ve started one of your own related to this book down below. Why you couldn’t manage to keep your thoughts within the parameters of your profile is beyond me. But you do you, I guess - you really only embarrass yourself with word salad like this.

Is review space public? Yeah. Sure it is. Is it awesome form for an author to attack a reviewer because you disagree with their viewpoint, no matter how it’s worded? No. It is not awesome. But from what I’ve seen of you, this is to be expected.

You haven’t necessarily been kind to women yourself, though your memory seems short. And yes, in your case, as documented on Santino Hassell’s FB timeline, you were ACTUALLY attacking the female experience, and perspective.

Julio is referring to a book and its author in reference to her shitty actions, not in reference to her status as female necessarily. That might be a bit too nuanced for you to grasp.

The internet is forever. The things you posted last week, last month, last year – they’re around. So instead of lecturing a guy on his role in this community, start exploring your own.

I deliberately avoid you on SM, but I'm not sure I can give you a pass on trying to assign what it means to be a 'man' in the context of giving honest feedback about a book.

It does not make somebody a 'bully' to voice their opinions on a topic, whether stated politely or otherwise.

But thanks for playing this edition of Tone Policing in MM.

I don’t typically respond to your nonsense. I won’t respond to it now if you choose to rebut, or whatever the f it is you think your responses can be classified as, so don't bother.

You're just gonna make yourself look worse, if that is possible.

F.E. wrote: "See, dude, I don't know how you can pop off about this without even having read the book - which, by the way, isn't even out yet. But that's really not your m.o is it? I mean, you have designated y..."

WTF?

If you're a man you can't criticize a book written by a woman? Did I get that right?

Anna wrote: "F.E. wrote: "See, dude, I don't know how you can pop off about this without even having read the book - which, by the way, isn't even out yet. But that's really not your m.o is it? I mean, you have..."

Yes. I think so. Because they will self harm. And also there is gay bashing. It's v nonsensical TBH.

I won't be reading this one either, because it's gross and I'm sick of these women writing bigoted bullshit and then laughing all the way to the bank.

As for that dude's overly long and misinformed comment: *insert eyeroll gif here* I'm sure some wannabe well known authors think it's a rite of passage to come to talk shit on Julio's reviews. I'm betting that = more page views and books sold to the "I don't actually give a shit about LGBTQIA+ people, I just want to get my rocks off" gang. How lovely.

If this author actually felt some type of way about what people thought of her, or about people's feelings in general, she wouldn't have had the gall to write this book.

it's funny how people always come to julio's reviews to call him names but never show up when certain authors are being biphobic, racist, etc. it's even more funny how everything julio says is seen as an attack but said authors being biphobic, racist, etc, isn't. i would wonder why this happens, but well, everyone knows why, right?

i remember reading kaye's biphobic post months ago but i wasn't that involved in the romance community back then so i didn't even remember her name. the only good thing coming out of this book is that now i know who i shouldn't support.

ren wrote: "it's funny how people always come to julio's reviews to call him names but never show up when certain authors are being biphobic, racist, etc. it's even more funny how everything julio says is seen..."

Exactly. Also see when other, less brown, people say something against this book or another book. No one has problems with that at all.

Erika wrote: "ren wrote: "it's funny how people always come to julio's reviews to call him names but never show up when certain authors are being biphobic, racist, etc. it's even more funny how everything julio ..."

concur. I don't see fred f. going after anybody else who reviewed this books negatively in advance of release. he should take a good, long look at himself. a lot of authors in this genre need to do that tbh.

It's possible that I won't like the book or the way the MCs are portrayed. Maybe I'll love it. But this "witch hunt" that is initiated even before the book is released pisses me of.
And additionally I think that they all forget that we are talking about ficitional characters who are not "politically correct", who don't have to be "politically correct". This can start discussions but what's going on here is cyber bullying of the worst and actually the reason I'm very seldom on GR these days. Oh...please feel free to berate me that I dare to comment on Julio's review :) This would just prove my point.

Sunne wrote: "It's possible that I won't like the book or the way the MCs are portrayed. Maybe I'll love it. But this "witch hunt" that is initiated even before the book is released pisses me of.
And additionall..."

I'm not going to berate you. I'm just going to explain to you why I won't read this book. And I'll do that by quoting one of my friends who read the book.

"I didn't like that Aaron kept insisting he was straight the entire time and had to tell Vinnie not to get mad if he wanted to cheat with a woman. That, to me, is not romantic.

At the end of the book, he says: "I want to be with you, even if it means people think I'm gay. I don't mind. I'd do that for you"

Um, thanks? Like Vinnie should be grateful.

"But I don't know how strong the attraction to a woman will be if I start getting itchy feet."

In other words, it may get to a point I'll have to fuck a woman just to get it out of my system.

There is this deep-seated implication there that if you are attracted to men (or one man at least) and women, you're more likely to be unfaithful, and I just don't believe that's true."

This author has made it clear in several of her posts that she thinks there is no such thing as a romance including a bi person. That a bi person will always want to be with a man AND a woman as opposed to a man OR a woman. I find that insulting, therefore I will not read a book that promotes that kind of viewpoint.

Sunne wrote: "And additionally I think that they all forget that we are talking about ficitional characters who are not "politically correct", who don't have to be "politically correct"."

In general I agree with you.
However there is a difference when a character is "politically incorrect" and when a writer is expressing her personal ugly beliefs through her writing. And that seems to be the case here.
I followed the discussions that resulted in several authors calling Julio a bully because he dared speak up about what's hurting him and the lgbtq+ community. I was disappointed with so many writers (I worshiped Amy Lane like a goddess, but after this? no thank you). I have read the post where Renae Kaje expressed her feelings about bisexuality. From my perspective as a person who's aware of all this, I can not comfortably read her book. It is fluffy and sweet on the surface to the causal reader, but there is the underlying ugliness that I have become aware of and that I cannot and will not ignore.

Bottom line is, what Julio writes on his own profile in his own reviews is none of your concern. His friends and followers here and elsewhere enjoy reading HIS opinions, otherwise they would unfriend/unfollow him. Who are YOU to police him or anyone else for expressing their opinions on their own piece of internet space?

I admit, this cyber bullying that's going on on GR is one of the reasons I only lock in like every second week or so but at the moment I'm still online so I'm going to answer.

First - it is okay if you are not reading the book. What is not okay in my opinion is to start a big tirade about how bigotted and wrong the book is. We are talking about fictional characters! They can be wrong. They do stuff we don't like. They portray life choices we don't agree. And seriously, do we really want to read about people who are all the same? Correct? Always right? Always perfect? If we don't like the blurb or the reviews show us we won't like it - don't read it. But is it really neccessary to start a rant and calling names (I'm talking about Julio here, sorry, Julio)?

Well, maybe it's me not being on GR often enough but I've actually never seen Renea Kaye saying that there is no such thing as a romance including a bi person. And I follow her on FB....well....seems like this slipped through.

If I'm going to like the book or not is open until I've read it but readers really shouldn't forget that we are talking about fictional characters with faults.

Okay - and now it's log out time for me anyway, I have a RL.

every time an author inappropriately enters review space defending books that hurt queers an angel loses its wings and amy lane knits another ridiculous scarf.

the author is literally someone who said bisexuality doesn't exist. worse than that, she made a whole post about it and now a freaking book about it, but we are the ones doing the witch hunt? lol okay

Sunne wrote: "I admit, this cyber bullying that's going on on GR is one of the reasons I only lock in like every second week or so but at the moment I'm still online so I'm going to answer.

First - it is okay i..."

Thanks for this. I honestly missed the lecture about my role as a reader this week.

Maybe you need some clarification on your role as an author.

I'm happy to provide it, though I can only aspire to the heights of back handed condescension you managed in your comments:

You write.
We read.
Some of us review.

We don't tell you what to write, but we can disagree with it, and we can even decide not to use our indoor voices to express our discontent.

It's not a witch-hunt bc it makes you uncomfortable when queer readers wonder why authors are so determined to use fictional characters to reinforce and even celebrate damaging real life stereotypes.

Sunne wrote: "Okay - and now it's log out time for me anyway, I have a RL...."

Apparently your RL is not pressing enough for you, because you still took the time to comment on a reader's personal review space. Twice, at that.

Here's the thing: you might want to look into why Julio's reviews are only person's reviews you guys feel you need to comment on when they disagree with your world views. If you scroll down you'll see other reviews and bookshelf names saying pretty much the same thing he's said, just in other words. I don't see you taking time out of your extra busy RL to make comments on those reviews. Why are you so pressed and bothered about what Julio has to say? Why not take time instead to read up on your fave's blog posts that illustrates exactly why people are up in arms over this book?

Erika wrote: "Sunne wrote: "Okay - and now it's log out time for me anyway, I have a RL...."

Apparently your RL is not pressing enough for you, because you still took the time to comment on a reader's personal ..."

lmao any response you get from the tone police will probably look something like this

Excuse me, but I think I'll talk about what I want, where I want, as a writer and as a reader.Im over the age of 18. Amazon owns goodreads, you dont.

What you are doing is really wrong. It's really mean and you should stop. Ganging up on someone because you can doesn't make you powerful. Even if you are 100 percent right. Because being self righteous feels good as long as peeing your pants feels warm.
Your just bullies. That's it.
If you were really interested in change you would open up a forum for conversation and debate - where everyone could.come to the table. But that would take a willingness to listen to all sides and thats not what you're intersted in. You just want to hurt the latest victim for self aggrandizement and its tired. YOU. ARE. HURTING. SOMEONE.

And Julio - I have friends too all throughout the queer spectrum of all walks of life and ideologies. You are not THEIR voice. You are A voice. Just one. And not everyone agrees with you.

holy christ, you're thick.

this reminds me of marco

marco sucks-up to the worst authors because he runs a review blog that depends on getting their ARCs, and i'm an easy target.

feeley's just a lowkey bigot with a grudge and no sense.

Nanny Ogg wrote: "this reminds me of marco"

LMAO!

julio wrote: "holy christ, you're thick."

I think he wants a cookie for defending an author who loves to make money off the same people she hates. Too bad I ran out of fucks to give. *Hands*

julio wrote: "marco sucks-up to the worst authors because he runs a review blog that depends on getting their ARCs, and i'm an easy target.

feeley's just a lowkey bigot with a grudge and no sense."

My blog depends on getting ARCs? Please enlighten me how so, since my blog is 100% personal and I've only reviewed about 5 ARCs out of my 400+ reviews?

I don't know how I even got dragged into this debate since I didn't commented on this review or even this book at all to begin with.

you're saying you attack people who speak up against those who oppress queer folk every day—for fun?

your gaslighting fuckery is even more deplorable than i thought.

Look, I don't want to argue and I don't want to fight. I don't really care enough about this book to get into any argument. But what I really want to know is why you and Nanny Ogg are just randomly hating on me and bad-mouthing me when I never voiced any opinion whatsoever about this book. Classical bully behavior much?

you presided over multiple facebook threads encouraging clueless/racist/biphobic/transphobic MM readers to alienate, erase, and abuse queer people.

if you think for one second any of us has forgotten that—you're incorrect.

sneering at an apt comparison between a couple of fuckwit white gay men who historically deny the right of any other type of queer person to exist—

that's not bullying.

that's just logical progression.

and if you don't like it, you can shuffle your ass right the fuck right out of my thread before i finally get annoyed enough to dig up the screenshots.

what do you mean you don't know how you got DRAGGED into this debate? somebody MENTIONED you, and you JUMPED through the front door.

get real.

and no, mentioning you is not an invitation to participate in the conversation.

jfc if i jumped in every time somebody talked shit i would be pretty occupied most of the day.

if you don't want to argue - don't. go play on your own profile.

Sara Beth wrote: "what do you mean you don't know how you got DRAGGED into this debate? somebody MENTIONED you, and you JUMPED through the front door.

get real.

and no, mentioning you is not an invitation to par..."

So I am supposed to sit back and just watch people talk shit about me? God, you're an idiot if I ever saw one.

And just so a simple mind like you would understand: mentioning me is TOTALLY an invitation for me to participate in any conversation, you imbecile.

i swear, if you take the tone policing off what these people say you're left with nothing at all.
i only hear a big ugly "why aren't you all nicer???" and a tip: those who have been kicked in the mouth a thousand times have no obligation of being nice.

Joe wrote: "Sara Beth wrote: "what do you mean you don't know how you got DRAGGED into this debate? somebody MENTIONED you, and you JUMPED through the front door.

get real.

and no, mentioning you is not an..."
Lmao. Okay Marco. You do you- which apparently involves in this order: shitting ur diaper when ur name comes up in a non-positive context, shaking ur angry toddler hands at the big bad bullies, and than finally resorting to name calling when they explain the actual situation to you.

But this is odd- Huh. I don't remember stooping to ur level. But I I suppose when you have the low cunning of a bottom feeder, it's easier to sink as low as you can. Good luck with that lol

ren wrote: "i swear, if you take the tone policing off what these people say you're left with nothing at all.
i only hear a big ugly "why aren't you all nicer???" and a tip: those who have been kicked in the m..."

They very very very much want you to raise your hand and speak in your best voice.

Sara Beth wrote: "Joe wrote: "shaking ur angry toddler hands at the big bad bullies"

Oh, so we agree on the bullies thing? Fine with me.

Joe wrote: "Sara Beth wrote: "Joe wrote: "shaking ur angry toddler hands at the big bad bullies"

Oh, so we agree on the bullies thing? Fine with me."

We agree there is uninvited aggression on this thread. However, I firmly believe you're too simple to identify the actual culprit **spoiler: it's you**

**spoiler: fuck you**
I'm out of here.

he's a genius.

julio wrote: "he's a genius."

yes. very clever.

Honestly, from that blurb I can't tell if it's gonna be strictly GFY or allow a character to grow into and acknowledge being bi. (I know nothing about this particular author, but experience in general tells me probably not the latter, but I can't tell just from the blurb and I live in hope.) But the inferred treatment of women in that blurb and that it's just unimportant and ultimately acceptable (because you're obviously going to want to relate to the main character, right?) makes me itch all over. Even more that it's a woman writing it. One issue would be bad enough, but both...Nope, this is something I'm running away from.

I'm not a writer so I'm going to invade this review space for a moment. I respect all of your opinions and hear you. We all have a right to it and we all should share out concerns with this book if you have them. I only just started so I won't speculate based on a blurb. They are very deceiving at times. I think the only thing that bothers me in this thread of comments in the hatred on the writer as a person. Seeing things like, "She's such a shitty writer." I wonder why it is you read her if after maybe the second book of hers you read you clearly didn't like her style? My feeling on this is that this is another example of a group of people gathering and bullying one person. For me it makes the review invalid. It makes me not at all respect anyone who is out to solely hurt someone. I'm sure this will only open the gates to have you all gang up on me now but I can't sit back as a reviewer and see such cyberbullying. Shameful.

Wow, this was fun. Not. I saw who the author was and knew what would ensue. And deservedly so. Much love, julio,

Meredith wrote: "...I can't sit back as a reviewer and see such cyberbullying. Shameful."

your principled stand against marginalized people expressing frustration about their systemic oppression in the review thread for a book that embodies it has been noted.