Fee > Fee's Quotes

“What happened?”  He directed the question her way. Hadleigh shrugged, it seemed obvious to her. “I think I broke the pretty one.”
― Jane Cousins, To Woo a Warrior

“Goddess damn it, being a Siren quite literally sucked… she was a fricking straw for a ravenous rock.
Charisse grit her teeth in determination, unconsciously pulling up first one drooping sock, then the other… we’ll just see about that bitch.”
― Jane Cousins, To Seduce A Siren

“You bought a prostitute on our date!”
― Jane Cousins, To Shackle A Shrew

“Props?”  She was almost afraid to ask.
“Just the usual.  Stethoscope, tongue depressor... scalpel, bone saw, rib spreaders… just the normal stuff.”
“Maybe in future you should ditch the props, be less Nurse Ratched and more soft porn first day on the job candy striper.”
Darcy look genuinely puzzled for a brief moment. “Where would the fun be in that for me?”
― Jane Cousins, To Thrill A Thief

“She’d been seconds away from kissing the man… no, throttling him, for his sheer audacity.  “You expect me to bat my eyes and thrust my tits into some hairy creature’s face and then run away like a giggling simpleton?”
“They only have the one eye under all that hair, and their eyesight is notoriously bad, so you can probably just keep your… tits where they are. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Vex A Valkyrie

“Is there something going on between you and Matias?”
“No!”
“Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I’m seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and setting your pants on fire.”
― Jane Cousins, To Surprise A Seer

“Nothing drives home a win more absolutely for the Sanctuary than a severed head delivered in a Hello Kitty box, topped with a big gingham bow.”
― Jane Cousins, To Handle A Hellcat

“No, she wasn’t dreaming, she was definitely pregnant. The question remained though… how? Or should that be, who?
You’d think she’d recall an alien probing. No, she was ninety-eight percent certain aliens didn’t exist. Which only left one option open - magic. And if that were the case, if magic could appear a baby… then magic was going to damn well disappear the thing. She was so not ready to be a single mother.”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“And you’re overthinking things, Charming.  Do the math.  Naked, interested man, check.  Wet, willing woman, double check.  Now insert part A into slot B and we can move on to the engineering portion of our quiz today.”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Honestly, men.  Always trying to exert their dominance.  What these two didn’t understand was that in this Library, Patricia was Ming the Merciless, Mistress of all she surveyed.  And she did not have time in her busy schedule for this shit.”
― Jane Cousins, To Kiss A Kringle

“Ben wasn’t sure when it had all started to go so wrong but it had definitely been the Lemon Puff’s fault. What a screw up. First she brains him in the head with a drawer, then she almost suffocates him, then she pins him to the floor, proving exactly what he knew already, this girl was no lightweight. Being dragged face down across the bank floor by his ankles was no picnic either.”
― Jane Cousins, Three For The Bank Job

“Didn't we talk about this?"
"HAIL!"
"That isn't an answer." I planted my hands on my hips. "Was there a reason for shoving the gummy bears off the counter? Did they tell you they were suicidal? On second thought," I raised a hand, palm out, "don't answer that. If the candy is talking, I don't want to know.”
― Seanan McGuire, Discount Armageddon

“Do you not listen to our daily meetings about the state of your lands?”
“Of course I don’t. They’re dead boring.”
“Not everything can involve bloodshed, Annwyl.”
“Can’t you come get me when there is bloodshed? Otherwise just leave me alone to read.”
― G.A. Aiken, Dragon Actually

“...she was faced with an annoying, irritating Demon. One she wasn’t allowed to kill. Unless she made it look like an accident. But she had a feeling that even the lazy heifers in the Legal Department would get suspicious if she wrote under cause of death; fell on my hatchets seventeen times.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Yeah, because you know what happened to Goldilocks, right?  The big…” He leaned in closer.  “Bad….”  Closer still.  “Bear ate her all up.”  His face once more had that neutral assessing expression he habitually wore, except for his eyes that roiled with heated intent.
“I think.”  Nell swallowed.  “You’re getting your fairy tales mixed up.  I believe it was Goldilocks who ate porridge.”
“Nah, Goldilocks got too sassy.  There was eating… but it definitely wasn’t porridge.”
― Jane Cousins, To Trap A Temptress

“If he just wanted sex from her, everyone knew the fastest approach to that end was just to enquire bluntly if she was interested. She was either willing to kill some time, or she was too busy killing. ”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Hey.”  Erik was now eye level with Cara’s breasts and thoroughly enjoying the view.  Maybe he should try and strike up a conversation.  “Come here often?”
“Are you talking to my breasts again?”  Cara huffed in exasperation.
“Oh… do that again, the huffing thing.”
Cara grabbed a fistful of the hair on his clearly undamaged head and yanked so Erik was forced to sit up and make actual eye contact with her.  “I can’t tell if you’re brain damaged or if you’ve always been like this. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster

“Stephanie wasn’t one for getting chatty after sex, or before, for that matter. Silent, disposable partners were kind of her sweet spot. But she’d often found the male of the species did not get the value of quiet time. They were all - that was amazing. You are amazing. That thing you did with your leg? above your head? amazing. When can I see you again? Let me give you my digits. Hey, why are you just walking away?”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Stephanie had never had to put any real effort into seducing a man before, but she had faith in her innate abilities. She was a highly trained Valkyrie; they didn’t know how to fail. No doubt when faced with even a small fraction of her effort, Galen would fold immediately. Just like a Jokaltist Demon when you punctured their throat sac.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Killing the Demon right now? What would she do with a decomposing Demon corpse stinking up the place, his blood ruining the carpets? Sure, she could use the fridge to store the corpse, but what about all the food? 
Until she found a way out of this hell hole, the Demon would have to remain breathing. Damn it.
“I’m Galen by the way. Galen Darvyn.”
And now she knew what name to carve on his tombstone, handy.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Valkyrie? Well, well, aren’t you full of surprises? Not just another blonde bimbo. You’re like a collector’s edition Barbie, with your gold accessories and rather snazzy boots.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“...delayed gratification? “Is that where I tie you to the bed, go out and kill a platoon of ogres before returning to have my wicked way with you?”
“Sounds like we have our first anniversary plans already locked and loaded.”
― Jane Cousins, What's Up, Buttercup?

“Wildlife mojo?” Copper queried with dry amusement, taking another sip of the excellent champagne.
“Oh, excuse me, Feral Forest Queen, do you have a special name for what you do? Does it have mud anywhere in the title?”
― Jane Cousins, To Goad A Goddess

“..sometimes it can get a little… rough. Will you stop bouncing up and down like that.”
“You can’t blame a Demon for getting excited. Hurry up and finish the safety briefing so we can get to the fun stuff.”
― Jane Cousins, A Demon Is Forever

“She was a Valkyrie. She could do this. No mountain too high. No neck too thick to hack through.”
― Jane Cousins, A Demon Is Forever

“That scar you flaunt is beyond hideous. I suggest you wear a scarf or a large necklace at the very least, to provide a distraction from such a glaring flaw.”
“Ah, now your rumoured exceedingly large collection of scarves and enormous necklaces makes sense.”
― Jane Cousins, The Beast Of Gloomenthrall: A snarky, hot and fun romantasy.

“I don’t like to be one to say I told you so.” Perri nudged her sister, as Alia stifled yet another yawn. “But the two of us would have made dreadful nuns.”
― Jane Cousins, The Beast Of Gloomenthrall: A snarky, hot and fun romantasy.

“I’m related to one. Can you believe that? It was bad enough thinking I was paranoid, going crazy or maybe just cursed, but to find out Gods are real and that I’m related to one… life sucks lemons and I’ve run out of tequila and salt.”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster