Samantha > Samantha's Quotes

Showing 1-12 of 12
sort by

  • #1
    Sylvia Plath
    “The one thing I was good at was winning scholarships and prizes, and that era was coming to an end.

    I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like a tombstone.”
    Sylvia Plath

  • #2
    Sylvia Plath
    “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
    Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

  • #3
    Tim Kreider
    “I don’t know why we take our worst moods so much more seriously than our best, crediting depression with more clarity than euphoria. We dismiss peak moments and passionate love affairs as an ephemeral chemical buzz, just endorphins or hormones, but accept those 3 A.M. bouts of despair as unsentimental insights into the truth about our lives.”
    Tim Kreider, We Learn Nothing

  • #4
    “Like most fedora wearers, he had a lot of inexplicable confidence.”
    Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance

  • #5
    David Sedaris
    “All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”
    David Sedaris, Holidays on Ice

  • #6
    Samantha Bee
    “I can agree in principle that it's the thought that counts when giving or getting gifts, but I would also like to point out that "if there's no thought...it doesn't count." I don't wish to be reminded that you didn't want to take the time to get to know me, or perhaps you have even known me my whole life and simply don't care about me. All I ask is that you not rub my face in it.”
    Samantha Bee, I Know I Am, But What Are You?

  • #7
    Jon Ronson
    “There is no evidence that we've been placed on this planet to be especially happy or especially normal. And in fact our unhappiness and our strangeness, our anxieties and compulsions, those least fashionable aspects of our personalities, are quite often what lead us to do rather interesting things.”
    Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry

  • #8
    Diana Rowland
    “I had a black belt in redneck pissed off bitch dirty fighting.”
    Diana Rowland, White Trash Zombie Gone Wild

  • #9
    David Sedaris
    “I can’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed silence in an American theater. It’s easy to believe that our audiences spend the day saying nothing, actually saving their voices for the moment the picture begins.”
    David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

  • #10
    “You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 10^18 joules of potential energy—enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point.”
    Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

  • #11
    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
    “The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.”
    Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

  • #12
    Pierce Brown
    “I know it may be impossible to believe now, when everything is dark and broken, but you will survive this pain, little one. Pain is a memory. You will live and you will struggle and you will find joy. And you will remember your family from this breath to your dying days, because love does not fade. Love is the stars, and its light carries on long after death.”
    Pierce Brown, Iron Gold



Rss