Mark Hamilton > Mark's Quotes

“The woman is like a glow stick. I want to snap her and then shake the hell out of her until the light comes on.”
― M.Z. Andrews, That Old Witch!

“Push-ups, Loni. He was doing push-ups.” “In bed?!” “No, you moron, we were having sex!”
― M.Z. Andrews, That Crazy Witch!

“How natural am I supposed to act? There’s a dead man motorboating my girls.”
― M.Z. Andrews, That Crazy Witch!

“I groaned. Great. With no effort whatsoever, I found myself square in the crosshairs of the Great American Ignoramous Trashyblonderidium.”
― Tegan Maher, Murder to the Max

“He wasn't wrong, but what was I supposed to do? Move the guy to somebody else's barn like a baton in a relay?”
― Tegan Maher, Mayhem and Murder

“Did I mention that Addy's filter is more like a climbing net?”
― Tegan Maher, Mayhem and Murder

“I chanced a glance at Ida to see how she was handling it. I couldn’t tell if she was appalled or shocked into silence until her face lit up and she said, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” I closed my eyes, afraid of what was coming because in all my years, I’d never seen anything good follow those words. At least I didn’t have to worry about her accidentally killing herself, but then it occurred to me she probably wasn’t the one I should be worried about.”
― Tegan Maher, Murder of the Month Club

“She’s so clumsy she’d trip over a cordless phone,” Tammy said.”
― Rose Pressey, These Haunts are Made for Walking

“actually managed to hobble the ten minutes to my office and clocked the grey metal shutters, that I realised it was Good Friday and I didn’t need to be there. If Bad Luck was a man, and I chose to think so, he was leaning against the side of the building, pissing himself laughing. Bastard.”
― Sharon Karaa, The Last Challenge

“Good gracious,” Mom muttered, covering her mouth as she gasped. “Is there anything that woman won’t do for attention?” “Granny, I meant the gator,” Orion added with a giggle. “Well, good.” She lifted her chin. “You just keep your innocent eyes off of that tramp up there…bless her heart.”
― A. Gardner, Dead Velvet Cheesecake

“I can’t wait to use it! We can talk all the time, now!” I tried hard not to think about the horrors of a world where your wife can reach out and call you as easily as if she were constantly standing next to you while I let her hug me in gratitude.”
― Terry Mancour, Magelord

“Of course I know the difference!” she cooed, indignantly. “But all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And that girl plainly loves you, bless her insane little heart.”
― Terry Mancour, Enchanter

“I got the hell out of there. I have five sisters. Moody teenage girls scare me.”
― Terry Mancour, Necromancer

“prisoner was attacked by 87 Rank A criminals at xx Hours. The conclusion of the fight saw 86 dead and 1 mentally scarred for life, now submitted to the mental institution ward of the prison. Prisoner John is perfectly fine. Footage shows he acted out of self-defence. He was confined to his cell while awaiting the results of the investigation. No trouble since. Recommended Action: Don’t piss him off.”
― Pegaz, The Idle System

“when English rolled around. 'Romeo and Juliette' this term. Allow me to summarise: Love, cock-up, bad communication, sad ending; waste of time that could have been spent reading 'The Hobbit'.”
― HDA Roberts, Shadowborn's Terror

“Hell, yes!” Darryl huffed. “But whenever John Grimes says, ‘Hey, y’all, watch this shit,’ that is code for 'get the fuck out of there!”
― Michael Anderle, Bitch's Night Out

“Okay, everyone. You’ve had your fun at my expense. I may not have served in the military or been shot at, but I’m willing to go with you and see what this is all about. I’ll give it my best. I will not be a liability, but I won’t be cannon fodder either. Don’t make me tell you all to fuck off. I don’t like saying ‘fuck off,’ much less actually meaning that you can fuck off, but if fuck off you must, then fuck off you will. I consider you all to be my friends, of which I don’t have very many. Don’t make me tell you to fuck off. It would hurt me more than you fuck-offs.”
― Craig Martelle, Slave Trade

“Have you seen the Magistrate’s quarters?” “What does that have to do with whether Tyler appreciates art or not?” Rivka demanded. “If he was artsy, he’d make you artsy, too.” “I’m artsy.” Lindy fired a full broadside across the bow. Red knew when the fight was lost. “I surrender because I’m not touching that one. I rescind my previous statements, withdraw my erroneous conclusion, and throw myself on the mercy of the court.” “You might as well throw yourself on the couch, because that’s where you’re sleeping,” Lindy noted,”
― Craig Martelle, The Art of Smuggling

“The bounty hunter held no illusions about his soul. Heaven wouldn’t take him, and Hell probably would be too scared to let him in.”
― Michael Anderle, Feared by Hell

“Just wait until you’re trying to keep a woman happy. That’s the single most complicated thing a man can do.”
― Michael Anderle, Rejected by Heaven

“Alison. This damn amulet I’ve got under my shirt isn’t bonded to me, and I doubt it’s female. Then again, I can’t understand what it’s thinking most of the time and it likes to tell me what to do, so maybe it is.”
― Michael Anderle, Alison Brownstone

“He’s a lawyer. That’s what they do. The Devil himself is probably afraid to talk to lawyers. Probably sends them straight to heaven just to be safe, and a court of law is no place to put your shoe up anyone’s ass to make a point.”
― Michael Anderle, Alison Brownstone

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
― Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

“Love all, trust a few,
Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy
Rather in power than use; and keep thy friend
Under thy own life's key: be check'd for silence,
But never tax'd for speech.”
― William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

“ The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever