Gordon > Gordon's Quotes

“Writing what you know" is about as much fun as having an affair with your spouse.”
― Gordon Highland

“If you save your best song for the encore, you won't get one.”
― Gordon Highland

“He who laughs last should not go out to movie theaters.”
― Gordon Highland

“Borrowed time and stolen moments are those of which we take the most ownership.”
― Gordon Highland

“You can't copyright a title, but if anyone tries to steal "Rabbi Sanjeev and the Periwinkle Valise of Intrigue," I'll sue the motherfucking Burberry off their back faster than you can say "Neo-Hassidic espionage.”
― Gordon Highland

“The definition of success constantly evolves for the truly ambitious.”
― Gordon Highland

“Reading without suspicion is more dangerous than blogging without authority.”
― Gordon Highland

“Celebrations, for me, have always been where celibacy meets masturbation.”
― Gordon Highland, Major Inversions

“Heavenly Father, I promise never again (or for three business days, whichever comes first) to take your blessings for granted if your boundless wisdom can manifest to smite this motherfucker. I don’t know, rain down some sulphur, whisper divine suggestion into his ear, even the old salt pillar trick would suffice. But ... I will take up thy sword and act as the county’s mortal archangel once again if I must. I swear to your oft-alleged earthly son that if this thug doesn’t put the toddler down and stop swinging that oversized plastic bat at us, he’ll spend his weekend removing my well-shined size eleven Florsheim from his PCP-smoking ass at the Ballard Institute for Deadbeat Dad Castration.”
― Gordon Highland, Major Inversions