Andy Borowitz > Andy's Quotes

“Over the past fifty years, what some of our most prominent politicians didn’t know could fill a book. This is that book.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“Who’s the most ignorant person the United States is willing to elect?”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“Given the alarming state of his knowledge, you might wonder what job he could get. Unfortunately, he’s not hypothetical, and the job he got, in 2016, was president of the United States.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“Being dumb’s just about the worst thing there is when it comes to holding high office. —HARRY S. TRUMAN The worst thing a man can do is go bald. —DONALD J. TRUMP”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“I want the president of the United States to be intellectually curious for a simple reason: I think the person running the country should be smarter than I am. We’ve just lived through the alternative, and it was only good for the liquor industry.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“Quayle was George Bush 2.0, sharing not just the original model’s privileged upbringing but also his hapless steel-cage match with the English language”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“What happens when you combine ignorance with performing talent? A president who tells the country to inject bleach.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

“An elementary school student in South Carolina stumped him with a gotcha question even more challenging than Hiller’s about the president of Chechnya: What was his favorite book as a child? “I can’t remember any specific books,” he said. Later, responding to a similar query in a written questionnaire, he summoned an answer: The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Though that book might have been his favorite, it was published a year after he graduated from Yale.”
― Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber