Jennifer > Jennifer's Quotes

“Unless you’re a recovering alcoholic or Mormon or have liver problems, you should always have booze in the house. We were once invited to an acquaintance’s place for brunch and they offered us green tea and salad and it was a fucking nightmare.”
― Jennifer McCartney, The Joy of Leaving Your Sh*t All Over the Place: The Art of Being Messy

“If you ever go to any event ever, for any reason, they will give you a tote bag. Medical conference? Tote bag. Wedding? Tote bag. Syrian refugee arriving in Canada? Maple leaf tote bag. My orthodontist gave me a tote bag. And a t-shirt. Which I put in the tote bag.”
― Jennifer McCartney, The Joy of Leaving Your Sh*t All Over the Place: The Art of Being Messy

“Gluck asserted that the poor were not simple downtrodden innocents as the Santa Claus Association had for years presented them. They were time bombs, ready to detonate as soon as conditions worsened. He suggested to Tumulty that the United States create a surveillance system that would “keep tabs” on the poor, and poor Germans in particular, without their knowledge—and that he should oversee the whole thing.”
― Alex Palmer, The Santa Claus Man: The Rise and Fall of a Jazz Age Con Man and the Invention of Christmas in New York

“Spiders are reputed to taste like peanut butter.”
― Alex Palmer, Weird-o-pedia: The Ultimate Book of Surprising Strange and Incredibly Bizarre Facts About (Supposedly) Ordinary Things