Mark Stevens > Mark's Quotes

“The difference between a regular Catholic education and a Jesuit education is the difference between the army and the marines.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“Work/Loaf Ratio”...I have spent fourteen years perfecting... I won't bore you with a long-winded explanation of the “W/LR” save to say that it is an algebraic formula of such complex numeric subtlety that it can be understood only by mathematicians and hobos.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“I didn't offer to help him carry any of his stuff. That's the unwritten code between cabbies and movers.... It's his punishment for tricking the cab driver into playing Mayflower, because he knows he's not going to give you a tip, and so do you.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“I began to parse the sentence. This is what English majors do. It's what we're trained to do. We don't know how to do anything else, except drive cabs.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“One thing I had learned in college was that if you ever had a question about truth, reality, or the meaning of existence, read a novel by Albert Camus. Pretty soon you'll be so baffled you'll forget the question.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“I hate it when I get mad at myself because it's impossible to turn on my heel and walk away in a huff and refuse to speak to me again. I've tried it plenty of times, believe me.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“You must be compelled by an inner force to read books, listen to music, and view films which serve only to send you spiraling deeper into the bottomless pit of frustration.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“I don't like people to know I think things.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“They paid people to write books!!! Until that moment I had a vague idea that books were produced in factories, like tires, or else they grew on trees, like money.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“I guided my heap into the heart of Capitol Hill wondering for the first time in fourteen years what I could do to get money besides drive cabs or rob banks. Both occupations had their pros and cons. For instance, bank robbery isn't quite as dangerous as cab driving, but it pays better.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club

“For the past few weeks I have been laboring under the assumption that if people thought I was dead, they would stop annoying me and leave me alone.”

I didn't respond right away. I examined his statement from every angle, and while I admired the logic, the cockeyed optimism left me cold.”
― Gary Reilly, The Heart of Darkness Club