Lee DeBourg > Lee's Quotes

“You would not be the man I think you are if you were willing to leave the one you truly love for another woman.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“...a guy who probably thinks of me as his prospective son-in-law."
"Probably thinks? When is the last time you saw this guy?"
"Last summer."
"I didn't know you were engaged last summer."
"I wasn't."
Sue Ellen thought for a second. "THAT is shameful and disgraceful.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Old business, my fanny. Or is that what you call her, Old Business? Yeah. She probably is older than you.
You keep the smile on her face. She keeps you in walking around money. Does that sound about right?”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“I'm not your guardian angel."
"Understood."
"I have to draw a line in the sand."
"I comprehend."
"And I'm never sleeping with you again, either."
"Amen.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Sue Ellen looked at me with utter disgust."I wanted to see what all the excitement was about. What a dud. I'm never sleeping with you again. Phooey on that.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“I've heard alimony isn't so bad. They say after the first few checks it doesn't even feel like real money flying out the window each week.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“You compliment my derriere, but won't fly me away to Paradise for Spring Break. Some boyfriend you are.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“The woman laughed heartily as she threw back her head. "This old broad can show you tricks you haven't had time to dream of.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“What is a big city girl like you doing out in the middle of nowhere with a country boy like me on a Tuesday night in October?"
"Enjoying life...”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Cindi didn't care for the Snow Girls, and they pretty much couldn't stand her, either. Ergo, her chances of being included for the Wednesday night soiree in Resort City were just about zero.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“My manager sighed with resignation. "Why is it that every time I see a manure pile, you're standing in the middle of it smelling like a rosebush?”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“How did your conversation with Cindi go?"
"I'm not sure. She called me queer, then stomped off. I think I made my point.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“I've got a big problem. My parents have decided to come up for New Year's Eve, and they're bringing him with them!"
"One would assume 'him' references your fiance."
"Yeah, that's who him is.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Sue Ellen scowled. "Resort brunch is for employees only, not for someone's girlfriend to snorful up to the trough.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Michelle is intrigued by you."
"Why is that?"
"That's what I've been trying to find out, but you have been damned uncooperative.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“I've fed you. I've made love to you. I've offered to pay for your final year of college. Against my better judgment I'm letting you go back to Snow Mountain, where rich witches from the City go husband hunting in Winter. Right off the top of your head can you think of anything else I can possibly do for you this morning, Mister Lawson?”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“We wanna see the bartender," the female customer slurred.
"Yeah, the good looking one," her friend agreed.
"What do you want from him?"
"We wanna play Chinese checkers, you dumb bunny."
"Shhh," the second one admonished. "Don't scare this one away.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“You will find I am a highly reasonable girlfriend. I have but two requirements.
Number One: When I say jump, you will query how high."
"Oh, I can't wait to sign on for that program.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Can you speak Espanol?"
"Si."
"I think you're lying."
"What difference does it make? All I want is warm sunshine and sand between my toes.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Dad told me he had been young once, and it is okay to have my fun.He said when I'm ready to settle down, I need to select a guy who will be good for the family business."
"Have you had your fun?"
"What has that witch Michelle told you?”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Based upon my early experience at Snow Mountain, I had not viewed it as necessarily advantageous to broadcast the fact that I had a serious ladyfriend elsewhere.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Oh for Christ sake What's the name of this soap opera, The Bored and The Addlebrained? At least half you Snow Girls have a serious boyfriend.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“There's too much psychology in the world.
People should live by the Golden Rule. And dance the Tango. Passion is good.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Maybe I enjoy being pestered. Occasionally."
Sue Ellen rolled her eyes. " I can talk dirty to you, Hank. That takes no skill.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Hank."
"Mmmm."
"I can't get back to sleep."
"You're welcome.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“What are you talking about now?"
"A fascinating discourse on cherry agronomy and micro-climate zones."
"Hank."
"You know I have a head full of useless information.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“We'll leave around six."
"Is that...morning, six-ish?"
"The early bird gets the worm. Not a bad deal, if you enjoy high-quality worm meat.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“You have to believe in something. I always believe I will have another cookie.”
― Lee DeBourg

“And treat her like a lady, because that's what she is," our manager said, leaving the breakroom.
I glanced at Wendy, seated beside me."Bob didn't need to tell me that.I already had it figured out.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once

“Have you spoken with any of these girls?" Sue Ellen asked incredulously."Please do so before suggesting anything requiring thought from their part.”
― Lee DeBourg, Young, Only Once