Jesse Eubanks > Jesse's Quotes

“To desire self-clarity is to risk seeing ourselves, not for who we want to be, but for who we really are. It’s easier to stay asleep to the truth. Self-clarity wakes us up.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“The Enneagram cannot save you. It has no magical powers and no relational interest in you. The Enneagram cannot love you into wholeness.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“One of the marvels of Christian faith is the belief that God understands and shares our pain. We worship the God who empathizes.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Each of us has a relational style—our one way we approach doing relationships—and we apply it to everyone, even God. This is why Scripture tells us we can’t love God if we don’t love others and that when we love others we also love God. It’s why we’re told in Mark 12 to “love your neighbor as yourself”. How we relate is how we relate.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“To feel loved, you must be known. To be known, you must share yourself. To share yourself, you must know yourself.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Every healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust. Without trust, the relationship begins to fracture. In the Garden of Eden, we committed the original sin—mistrust.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“We are guilty because of the sins we commit. We are wounded because of the sins committed against us. And sadly, we commit our greatest sins out of our deepest wounds.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“How will the world know we are Christians? By our approach to relationships.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Like the Location Services on our phones that show us our bearings, the Enneagram has the ability to help us understand where we are in our relationships with other people and ourselves. It shows us the way other people experience us.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“There are nine different personality types—each driven by a different desire. These desires are so powerful that they forge our personality and distinguish one personality type from another.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Focus on the motivations, not the behaviors. All types behave in universal ways at one time or another. It’s not about what you do but why you do it.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Don’t weaponize the Enneagram. Don’t use the Enneagram as an excuse for your bad behavior. Don’t use it to manipulate others or put them in a box.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“It’s not God and it’s not Scripture. It’s a tool for self-clarity. Self-clarity is for communion with God. God transforms us, not the Enneagram.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“If someone only empathizes with us, we find a listening ear but no proven path forward. If someone only models their authority, we find a solution but no love. When we believe someone understands our pain from firsthand experience and has demonstrated their authority about how to live life to the fullest, they will earn our trust and the right to guide us. (Empathy + Authority = Trust.)”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Redemption of our True Selves happens in two primary ways: God heals our wounds and calls us to change the way we live. If we receive healing without repentance, we end up using God for our own gain—like the nine lepers who were healed by Jesus, never to return to him. If we repent without being healed, we become legalistic. We have simply directed our wounds down a new path.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“We must also understand that God’s presence and delight are essential to our healing. A child who has been forgiven and yet still feels abandoned and insecure is hardly a child who has experienced good news.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Are you a sinner? Yes. However, many of you believe the deepest thing about you is that you are a sinner. That is not true. The deepest thing about you is that you are loved.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“God’s great desire is for you to love and be loved in relationships.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“The world desperately needs people who are good at relationships. Why? Because the purpose of life is relationships. The world will know we are Christians by how we relate.”
― Jesse Eubanks, How We Relate: Understanding God, Yourself, and Others through the Enneagram

“Understanding your personal Enneagram profile is only possible to the extent you understand your life story. We must understand the events we've experienced, the emotions we felt as we experienced those events, and the themes that developed as a result of our life story.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“The problem is that many of us don't really know our story. We naively live as if we are somehow above, past, or outside of our story. We look at our life and don?t even see that there is a plot and consequences for the events that happened.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“If you only know your Enneagram Type, you only have half of the equation.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“Your story drives you. What you've experienced in life has nurtured specific desires, longings, perceptions and beliefs. You are not random. You are a character who has developed through plot twists and inciting incidents. These life turns shaped you.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“What we find in the end is that the Enneagram asks existential questions it cannot answer.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“The story of your childhood began to form a plot that continued to unfold as you grew, and it continues to shape who you are now.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“What makes my Deadly Sin so deadly is that it doesn't feel like sin. Unlike the other sins that I can clearly see for the damage they do, my Deadly Sin feels needed, necessary and even good. It feels more like a friend than an enemy.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints

“Jesus perceives the idols of the human heart with incredible clarity, and he strikes back at them. He refuses to share his throne with our lesser gods. He will give us life and nothing less.”
― Jesse Eubanks, Mapping Your Enneagram Story: Tracing the Story of Your Life to Find God’s Fingerprints