Breanna > Breanna's Quotes

“This house is an embarrassment. This house is shameful. I hate this house. I hate how being inside it makes me feel tense and anxious.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“Why do we romanticize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms. They're the most romanticized of anyone.

Moms are saints, angels by merely existing. NO ONE could possibly understand what it's like to be a mom. Men will never understand. Women with no children will never understand. No one buts moms know the hardship of motherhood, and we non-moms must heap nothing but praise upon moms because we lowly, pitiful non-moms are mere peasants compared to the goddesses we call mothers.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I'm becoming an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel to pain underneath it.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“A pushover is a bad thing to be, but an opinionated pushover is a worse thing to be. A pushover is nice and goes along with it, whatever it is. An opinionated pushover acts nice and goes along with it, but while quietly brooding and resentful. I am an opinionated pushover.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I was conditioned to believe any boundary I wanted was a betrayal of her, so I stayed silent. Cooperative.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I always forget that trying to reason with the unreasonable is... unreasonable.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“And if my entire life and point of view and identity have been built on a false foundation, confronting that false foundation would mean destroying and rebuilding a new foundation from the ground up. I have no idea how to go about doing this.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I’m done being a good sport. I resent being a good sport. If I wasn’t such a good sport to begin with, I wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place. I wouldn’t be on this shitty show saying these shitty lines on this shitty set with this shitty hairstyle. Maybe my life would be entirely different right now. I fantasize about it being different.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I'm becoming an angry person with no tolerance for anyone. I'm aware of this shift, and yet have no desire to change it. If anything, I want it. It's armor. It's easier to be angry than to feel the pain underneath it.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“Maybe I feel this way now because I viewed my mom that way for so long. I had her up on a pedestal, and I know how detrimental that pedestal was to my well-being and life. That pedestal kept me stuck, emotionally stunted, living in fear, dependent, in a near constant state of emotional pain and without the tools to even identify that pain let alone deal with it. My mom didn't deserve her pedestal. She was a narcissist. She refused to admit she had any problems, despite how destructive those problems were to our entire family.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I'm so unimpressed by people. Even irritated by them. At times even disgusted by them.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“So much of my life felt so out of control for so long. And I’m done with that being my reality.
I want my life to be in my hands. Not an eating disorder’s or a casting director’s or an agent’s or my mom’s. Mine.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“She took care of me and my brothers, I’m sure that was really hard for her.’

‘That was her job.’

I feel interrogated, like I can’t say the right thing. I speed up, trying to explain myself.

‘Well, but I mean this was different from most parents.’ Shit. I hated how that came out.

‘How so?’

I pause to compose myself. Laura won’t rattle me. I speak in an even, measured tone.

‘She sacrificed everything for me. She constantly went without so she could take care of me. She put me first, ahead of herself.’

‘Hmm. And do you think that’s healthy?’

What kind of fresh hell is this? What is this impossible-to-ace quiz? I have no idea how I’m supposed to be answering to make Mom look good.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“Through writing, I feel power for maybe the first time in my life. I don’t have to say somebody else’s words. I can write my own. I can be myself for once. I like the privacy of it. Nobody’s watching. Nobody’s judging. Nobody’s weighing in. No casting directors or agents or managers or directors or Mom. Just me and the page. Writing is the opposite of performing to me. Performing feels inherently fake. Writing feels inherently real.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“That guilt and frustration can be helpful in moving us forward, but shame… shame keeps us stuck. It’s a paralyzing emotion.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I’m done being a good sport. I resent being a good sport. If I wasn’t such a good sport to begin with, I wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“My anxiety causes me to be a people pleaser. My anxiety causes me to take the picture and sign my autograph and say it’s a good one. But underneath that anxiety is a deep, unearthed combination of feelings that I fear to face. I fear that I’m bitter. I’m too young to be bitter. Especially as a result of a life that people supposedly envy. And I fear that I resent my mother. The person I have lived for. My idol. My role model. My one true love.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I'm trying every day to face myself. The results vary, but the attempts are consistent.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“What is my identity, even? What the fuck is that? How would I know? I’ve pretended to be other people my whole life, my whole childhood and adolescence and young adulthood. The years that you’re supposed to spend finding yourself, I was spending pretending to be other people. The years that you’re supposed to spend building character, I was spending building characters.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“A little girl shouldn’t have to worry about her entire family,’ Grandpa says to me one afternoon….

‘What?’ I ask, not because I didn’t hear what he said, but because I’m confused. Of course a little girl should worry about her entire family. That’s what little girls do.

‘I just…’ He steps closer to me. ‘I just think…you deserve to be a kid.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I tried desperately to understand and know my mother—what made her sad, what made her happy, and on and on and on—at the expense of ever really knowing myself. Without Mom around, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. I don’t know who I am. And I certainly don’t know what to wish for.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“And if my entire life and point of view and identity have been built on a false foundation, confronting that false foundation would mean destroying it and rebuilding a new foundation from the ground up.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“She always fucking does that. If she knows something hits me in a deep way, if she knows it hurts, she shoves the knife in deeper and twists it around. How can a grandmother want to cause her grandchild pain? I know she’s had a hard life, I know she’s sad and desperate for attention, and I know she’s hurt by my coldness toward her, but still. I do not think there are any excuses for her behavior.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“And if my entire life and point of view and identity have been built on a false foundation, confronting that false foundation would mean destroying it and rebuilding a new foundation from the ground up. I have no idea how to go about doing this. I have no idea how to go about life without doing it in the shadow of my mother, without my every move being dictated by her wants, her needs, her approval.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“What I want and what I need deserves to be listened to.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“Regardless, I’m discovering just how powerful of a tool it is to not love someone. Loving someone is vulnerable. It’s sensitive. It’s tender. And I get lost in them. If I love someone, I start to disappear.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I’m realizing for the first time how exhausting it is to constantly curate my natural tendencies, responses, thoughts, and actions into whatever version Mom would like most. Without her around, I don’t have to. I miss her deeply, and my heart aches over what she’s going through, and I certainly feel a lot of guilt about the ease I feel these days, but that ease is undeniable.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“The years that you're supposed to spend finding yourself, I was spending pretending to be other people. The years that you're supposed to spend building character, I was spending building characters.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“but now our bedrooms are so filled with stuff that you can’t even determine where the beds are let alone sleep in them; we don’t sleep in the bedrooms anymore. Trifold mats were purchased from Costco for us to sleep on in the living room.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“It feels like desperation. I want order. I want peace. I want my three-hour reprieve from this place.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died