“Me: What color are you painting your nails? Stevie Girl: Go hang out with your best friend. Me: What color? Stevie Girl: Why does it matter? Me: Because I’m going to be seeing them wrapped around my dick later. I feel like I should have a say. Stevie Girl: You’re ridiculous. I shoot Stevie a hundred dollars via Venmo with the caption “Red, please,” but she denies it, sending it right back. Stevie Girl: You’re not paying to pick my nail color. I send the Venmo payment again. Stevie Girl: How much do you think it costs to get your nails painted? Me: I don’t know. $100? Red, please. Stevie Girl: Fine, this will cover Ella’s too. Me: Make sure she knows her favorite uncle paid.”
―
Liz Tomforde,
Mile High