Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams

by Barbara Sher

“I can never stick to anything.”

“I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?”

“I keep going off on another tangent.”

“I keep changing my mind about what I want to do and end up doing nothing.”

“I pull away from what I’m doing because I’m afraid I’ll miss something better.”

“I’m too busy, but when I do find time I can’t remember what I wanted to do.”

“I’ll never be an expert in anything. I feel like I’m always ...

Well, specialists aren’t Scanners, obviously. If you’re someone who is happy being completely absorbed by one field, I’ve labeled you a Diver.

Sometimes they even make fun of themselves for it, like the racing bicyclist Tim Krabbé described in The Rider, who glances up from his gear to look at people walking and says, “Nonracers. The emptiness of those lives shocks me.”

I spent years frustrating myself and everyone around me with my constant jumping from one thing to another. What I learned about myself eventually is that I knew deep down what I should be doing all along, but was simply too scared to commit myself to it. The constant stream of alternative ideas was simply an advanced avoidance technique.

I think I’ve always avoided what I really want to do because I was afraid I’d be mediocre, or fail completely, so I’d keep changing my mind before I produced anything that could be judged.

Depressed people often make the mistake of believing they’re Scanners.

Intense curiosity about numerous unrelated subjects is one of the most basic characteristics of a Scanner. Scanners are endlessly inquisitive.

But the very act of considering your explorations worth keeping track of begins to change everything you ever thought about yourself.

Few things are more demoralizing than believing you’re running your life the wrong way and feeling helpless to change it.