know exactly what you mean. Even when I asked the question I realized it was wrong, what I was asking. When I said ‘What did you say to set him off?’ I realized that’s what they do to you. That’s what an abuser does, and it’s what people do after the fact when they’re victim-blaming and not wanting to understand. They put it off on you. They make it about what you said right before they strangled you and not about the fact that they strangled you. Not that I was trying to do that, I didn’t mean it that way, but even just the question felt wrong.”
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