A Different Kind of Gone

by Catherine Ryan Hyde

This is the problem with being an adult, Norma thought. You’re always having to make a decision that someone will like and someone else will hate. You’re always having to betray someone. Decide one thing, betray one party. Turn around and decide the other thing, and get ready to be told you just burned the people on the other side. Because people’s needs are always in conflict. There’s no such thing as everybody happy all at once.

“Feelings don’t really respond to facts.”

“Because they want their anger. They don’t want to let it go. It makes them feel powerful. It makes them feel safe.”

She stayed in bed as though she were sleeping, eyes closed. Willing herself to sleep. Knowing she had to work the next day, which increased the stress of the insomnia, which created more insomnia.

your hate likely didn’t set him back much when he was alive. I guarantee you it’s not going to hurt his feelings now that he’s dead. But it’ll do plenty of damage to you.”

I’m not suggesting you can turn it off. But don’t hold on to it too tightly either. If there’s ever a time in the future when you feel like it’s moving farther away . . . just let it move. Don’t get too attached to it. Don’t make it a nice little bed in the corner and put down a bowl of water. The less we feed something, the more likely it is to move along.”

in this life you can choose whatever you want. But take a look at the price tag first, because you’re going to have to pay for it.’

Never pick up some guilt that’s not yours. Bad enough we’ve got to deal with our own our whole lives.”

“People like to do that to the victim,” Norma said, “because it makes them feel safe. If they can wrap it up neatly as you doing something they would know better than to do, then they never have to feel like the world is a dangerous place where bad things can happen to them too.”

You can’t tell anybody anything. Everybody has to figure out everything on their own. It’s just the way the world is. That’s just people.”