So look underneath your anger. No matter whom you’re angry at—him, her, or yourself—it is very likely that what you will find is both harder to bear and easier to manage, because it is, finally, the truth: you will find sadness. Allowing sadness to break over you is so difficult and requires much more courage than ranting, raving, and issuing indictments. The antidote to rage is actually sadness. It’s allowing yourself to grieve what you have lost because the loss is real. When you are sad, you burn clean fuel. Rage is dirty fuel and simply leads to more and more pollution. So, please, have
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