The Wisdom of a Broken Heart: An Uncommon Guide to Healing, Insight, and Love

by Susan Piver

Not only is your heart broken, your sense of self is destroyed. For whatever reason, you feel, because this one person doesn’t want you, as if your entire worth as a human being is destroyed and the only way to get it back would be to get him back or to convince yourself that he’s the loser, not you.

The day before the breakup you probably had normal, everyday problems and concerns. The day after, all that was destroyed. No matter how many signs there were (or weren’t) that this was coming, losing your love is like having your house and all your possessions destroyed by a tornado.

He is gone and yet he exists. It is a very strange sensation. It messes with your mind, and the only response that makes sense is to cry.

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

I got all sorts of advice from friends. “Drown yourself in work,” but I couldn’t concentrate. “Don’t worry, you’ll meet someone else,” but I wanted only him. “Take care of yourself—make sure to eat and sleep,” but food was like garbage and nights were one continuous nightmare.

I didn’t want to go back in that house where every room was a room he wasn’t in. My mind was in utter chaos, spinning out thought after thought: I would never love again.

“I realized that in depression, nothing matters,” she said. “And in sadness, everything matters.”

Surprisingly, every single cliché that you have ever heard about lost love turns out to be true. You can’t believe life around you goes on as before. You feel that you can’t exist without this person. Life has lost its meaning. You’ve been sucked into a giant black hole from which you feel you can never escape. You are certain you will never love again. Songs, movies, and stories you may have branded as childish and sentimental now capture your feelings perfectly.