The newspapers sometimes seem to be engaged in a bizarre ongoing ontological project, diligently sifting through all the inanimate objects of the universe in order to categorize them as a cause of—or cure for—cancer. At the core of this whole project are a small number of repeated canards, basic misunderstandings of evidence that recur with phenomenal frequency. These intellectual crimes are ferried to you by journalists, celebrities, and, of course, “nutritionists,” members of a newly invented profession who must create a commercial space to justify their own existence. In order to do this,
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