Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

by Amir Levine

They have chosen to let go of the dream of being truly intimate with their partners and have found a way to live with limited togetherness. They compromise. But make no mistake: The compromise is in no way mutual; it is in fact wholly one-sided. Instead of engaging in endless conflict that results in nothing but frustration and disappointment, they have decided to change their expectations and reduce conflict to tolerable proportions.

Her attachment system remained chronically activated, at least during the first few years—before she became indifferent to him.