Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

by Amir Levine

CRACKING OTHERS’ ATTACHMENT STYLE CHEAT SHEET Avoidant Secure Anxious Sends mixed signals. Reliable and consistent. Wants a lot of closeness in the relationship. Values their independence greatly. Makes decisions with you. Expresses insecurities—worries about rejection. Devalues you (or previous partners). Flexible view of relationships. Unhappy when not in a relationship. Uses distancing strategies—emotional or physical. Communicates relationship issues well. Plays games to keep your attention/interest. Emphasizes boundaries in the relationship. Can reach compromise during arguments. Has difficulty explaining what’s bothering them. Expects you to guess. Has an unrealistically romantic view of how a relationship should be. Not afraid of commitment or dependency. Acts out.

Attachment style chart