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The back of my head is matted and sticking up like a broken-ass version of a bouffant.
Your head is sticking up and matted?
A guy leans out his car’s window and yells, “Ten bucks,” as he makes lewd gestures with his tongue.
As much as getting eaten out by a guy with no teeth sounds like the perfect Vegas adventure…I’m gonna pass on catching dry rot. Plus, a tenny seems steep for his sample skill set.”
“How long do you plan on making me watch the dudes on this party bus eye fuck you before you let me do it for real?”
I bet if we sat here like this long enough, she’d slowly get herself off, rubbing that desperate little clit over my cock while a whole bus full of people partied around us, and nobody’d be the wiser.
“I’d give you a boombox in the window if you came home with me. We can bring back 1989, sweet thang. Fuck him. I make all the touchdowns anyway.”
“Or are you full of shit?” I press. “Maybe you’re just one of those girls who’s all bark and no bite? Likes the chase but doesn’t wanna get caught.”
“Stop the bus. We’re getting married.”
“I’m pretty sure there’s still cum on my back from last night.”
He’s licking his fingers clean of whatever sauce is on his chicken wings. Eww, who eats wings at the crack of dawn? Eh, somehow, that seems on-brand for him.
“That how you got your five-star rating? By being a dick?” “No, it’s because of the blow jobs the cleaning crew gives,”
“I’m pretty sure there’s still cum on my back from last night. Actual fucking dried-up jizz. Check-in Charlie…I just need a Big Mac. Fries. A Coke…with light ice. And a goddamn shower. In that order. So, what do I have to do to make that happen? And don’t say you because I’ll vomit all over your shitty lobby.”
You look like sex. Like straight-up fucking, Eleanor. Exactly what happened last night with the football team after we parted ways?”
“Let’s just say I put a quarter into the slot machine of life and got a full house.”
Me: Hey, you want the D? Yeah, you do. I’ll swing by and pick you up in forty-five minutes for the courthouse.
I’ll kill Millie if I get fucking trafficked in Vegas by Ice Ice Baby.
I’d rather have third-degree burns than that dirty dick in my mouth.
I read once that the murder rate increases when the temperature hits above ninety-eight degrees. I believe that because I want to shank someone right now.
How do people who live here survive? This weather is like a live reenactment of The Purge.
I’m too delicate for this. I live in California. Anything above seventy-five degrees is torture. Las Vegas is basically waterboarding me. Jail for you, Sin City.
“Hey, wifey. Remember me?”
“Good. Now, give daddy a kiss and make it better.”
Me: …If his giant cock touches my holy grail then I will become the worst shoeless daughter in history. Samantha: Fingers count too. Mills: And his mouth.
Me: If any part of his body sexually touches my body, I lose. Samantha: Mills…friends too? Mills: Yep…his friends count. Me: Not the Tweedles. How could you? You fucking hate me.
Then you know what…I hate you dirty cockblockers too and I hope you both get syphilis.
“Dickkkk move,” I grind out, making a hundred weird crazy expressions, trying to fuck up the facial recognition. But it works faster than legs spread for tattooed guys.
“You really are a walking red flag. This is an invasion of my privacy, you asshat.”
Wives shouldn’t keep secrets from their husbands.” “I’ll make sure to tell the next guy everything.”
The chuckle he lets out makes me ravenous for murder, coupled with the horror that he’s going to see the damn bet. I’ll die. I’ll fucking jump straight out of this car onto the freeway, tuck-and-roll style, and wish for the best.
“If you don’t give my phone back right now, I will hold a pillow over your head tonight. You’ll sleep with the damn angels.”
Damn that laugh. It’s disarming and sexy as hell. It’s like hot fudge on vanilla ice cream. All melty and decadent, and it makes me want to lick him. But I won’t because he’s an asshole, and those aren’t keto-friendly…
“I’m convinced that whatever I saw in you last night only exists with tequila goggles.”
“Maybe you just need a reminder. Dirty things happen in the light of day too…but that means we’d have to break your little ‘is she or isn’t she a brotherfucker’ rule.”
“Shirtless, gray sweatpants, and quad rolls.”
“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” he whispers, staring down at my wet cunt. “You gonna come all over my cock? Are you gonna be my good girl and gush so much that it’s gonna drip down your ass so I fuck that too?”
“You like that, baby? You like it when I fuck your face like the little slut you are?” I nod before deep-throating him. “Oh fuck.” He groans, his breath catching this time. “Your mouth is so good.”
“Open your mouth like a good girl. Let me see my cum inside you.”
Because Crew tips my head back further as he leans over me and spits into my mouth. “Now you can fucking swallow.” I come. Hard.
He doesn’t need a bet to make me delete my roster. His dick just did it for him.
“Hey,” I whisper. “Can you call the lawyer tomorrow because I think we should share custody of your cock. At the very least, I get it on holidays.”
