Colin (Unexpected, #6)

by Cora Rose

Fuck. This is my life now. Slowly killing my dates with boredom. This was not premeditated, Sheriff. Just plain old manslaughter. Death by small talk.

I need to get a life…maybe go on a violent crime spree and collect body parts. Maybe then I could keep my dates awake and interested long enough to get laid.

There is nothing better than reading about double penetration and rimming to keep my mind off the fact that I’m going to die alone.

Willing and able to bend. Just call me Mr. Pretzel.

I know I’m being a bit of a whiner, but listen, what I want is simple. I just want to be thrown around a room every once in a while, or find a bottom who really likes to take control in the bedroom. I want a toppy-bottom or a toppy-top. I want to be fucked and wake up the next day sore and bruised and aching. I want to walk crooked for days. Is that too much to ask?

All I really want to do is to meet someone who will be good to Daniel. And maybe even love me too.

Stupid skin. I wish I could peel it off. Like a banana.

I sniff and shrug. “No need to be condescending,” I reply and then meet his light blue eyes. “And I’d rather let you fuck me sideways than pull that weed.” What? Where did that come from?

I smile as I move inside the house, internally congratulating myself because listen, if there’s one thing Americans know, it’s how to beat the fucking British.

There is no fucking way. This is as good as it gets.

I cannot just go around flashing my dildo collection to any random man standing in his window.

This is for the weed outside. And for all of America, really. I won’t back down.

As much as I’d like to think that I showed him, I don’t think I showed him much besides the fact that I am a total slut for big dicks.

He’s stubborn, talks back, and honestly, probably deserves a good spanking.

Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker.

“I love smoothies,” Joel says, stepping up beside me and clapping me on the shoulder. “And so does Ethan. The really gross green ones that sound healthy but really just make you shit yourself.”

I think Sem would carry Magnus around everywhere if he could. They should make a onesie with a kangaroo pouch so Magnus can just sit inside while Sem lumbers about.

I want to live in someone’s arms.

I just want someone to hold me while I fall asleep.

Ethan stands up and helps pull my chair out. Like Mr. Darcy.

Honestly, what was that? What was that? I almost touched him. I almost committed some kind of assault. Sexual assault most likely, but still.

He’s so quiet. How does he move without making a sound? Did he train in the art of guerilla warfare in the rainforests somewhere? Are there even rainforests in Britain?

Oh, shit. Oh, this is bad. I have gone and done a terrible thing.

He’s not even touching me and already I feel like I’m coming.

He’s not natural. He’s a vampire, I’m sure of it.

And let me tell you, my ass must want to impress him because that big blue dildo slides right up inside. There isn’t even any resistance. Just full-on surrender.

“Good boy,” he mutters,

I manage a very weak eye roll. But still, I preen because I can tell he’s impressed with my skills.

“You like what you see?” I try and tease, but I peg my prostate as those words leave my mouth and I end up whining. “Yes,” he groans. “You desperate little slut.” God, that word. I despise it. It’s degrading. “Say it again.”

Touch me more. Again. Again. Make it good for me.

Oh, hell. What did we just do? We crossed a line—just obliterated that shit and strode right on through.

Lies, all lies. Oh fuck, I want to do it again. Just one more time.

You whined like an animal in heat.”

I’m embarrassed and flattered. Kurt never took care of me afterward, always in a rush to move on to the next thing. Aftercare wasn’t a thing in our relationship.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

What the hell is going on? Is it because he was in my room last night? He did touch my knee when he came. Maybe he thinks we’re married now.

“So contrived,” he huffs. “I wouldn’t bother with poison. If I murdered you, I’d want to watch as the life is snuffed from your eyes.”

“You British are sick fucks,” I say.

He is disgustingly gorgeous. Honestly, he should be illegal.

My eager little caterpillar.

the corners of his lips twitch up, looking smug. I want to kiss it right off of his face.

“You have an uncanny resemblance.” He snorts. “Yeah, no, we don’t. She looks like an unkempt punk rockstar and I look…well…boring.”

“You’re going to take it all, like the good boy you are.”

He’s too damn perfect.

“Good boy,” I say, stroking my hands gently through his hair, and he almost purrs.

I’d hated it and loved it, and I want to do it again.

Desperate, cockslut Colin.

He’s a secretive little mouse, it seems, hoarding secrets in shadows and corners.

I am going to remember that while I am rejected quite often, I am worth it. I will be worth it to someone. One day.

An obedient little slut.