Colin (Unexpected, #6)

by Cora Rose

Fuck. This is my life now. Slowly killing my dates with boredom. This was not premeditated, Sheriff. Just plain old manslaughter. Death by small talk.

I need to get a life…maybe go on a violent crime spree and collect body parts. Maybe then I could keep my dates awake and interested long enough to get laid.

There is nothing better than reading about double penetration and rimming to keep my mind off the fact that I’m going to die alone.

“When I first moved in. He was peering over the fence, spying. Much like his father, to be honest. And so I fed him. Seems he keeps coming back for more. Apparently, the rule ‘do not feed the wild animals’ has merit…”

“Nope.” I reach in and hold out the seed to the hamster who sniffs his way over to it. “How did he die?” Well, he bit me, clinging on with those pointy teeth of his and I accidentally flung him into the fireplace. While it was on. He burned to a crisp. “Um, natural causes. Just old age,” I lie as

Oh, this fuckstain has gone and done something. I know that look. “Brian,”

Not that marrying him would be anything other than delightful. I can even imagine waiting for him to walk down the aisle, which is something I told myself I’d never do again. It doesn’t make my heart do anything other than flutter in my chest.

But doesn’t he realize? I’m not upset. I’m excited. And that’s even worse. Because the last time I was this far gone for a bloke, he chose my best friend over me. I was left at the altar. Literally. It took two days to come to the realization that he was never going to pick me. That I had been used and discarded. It took years to pick up the pieces.

“Boyfriends and occasionally fiancés?” “And occasionally fiancés,” I agree,

“Ethan Fox,” I say, my voice stern, my hands on my hips. “What on earth did you do?” “I did a wretched thing,” he says, looking glum and a little bit pouty. I arch an eyebrow at him. “Did you even get a hamster?” “I did,” he says and holds up a small travel carrier. “But I also got a dog.”