Borderline anger may represent a cry for help, a testing of devotion, or a fear of intimacy—whatever the underlying factors, it pushes away those whom the borderline needs most. The spouse, friend, lover, or family member who sticks around despite these assaults may be very patient and understanding, or, sometimes, very disturbed himself. In the face of these eruptions, empathy is difficult and the relation must draw on every resource at hand in order to cope (see chapter 5).
