A Touch Mortal (A Touch Trilogy, #1)

by Leah Clifford

It was almost too bad his pick-up lines weren’t as pretty as his eyes. Their color like cooled anger. Blue sea glass.

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” she demanded. “They turn yellow when I’m scared,” he said,

“I’m a fucking angel, Eden.”

“It’s not exactly something that goes in a personal ad, Eden. Enjoys long walks on the beach and sarcastic girls. Bird fetish a plus.

“If they go yellow when you’re scared, what’s green?” “Blue and yellow?” He tried out a smile. “Happy fear? Hope?”

When he looked at her, the sorrow in his eyes made her breath catch. “You’re going to regret me.”

Oh Az. #Heartbreaking #ATouchMortal #TheEndIsHere @leahclifford @epicreads

She wracked her brain, but there didn’t seem to be a protocol for waking up in a strange bedroom only to find fucking Versailles come to life downstairs.

“If I touch you, you’ll look like Kristen did?” “Not as rotty as she probably did. The more Touch you’re storing, the worse you tend to look, and Kristen is always testing the limits.

She twisted to the mirror, caught the fading dull cream of cheekbones under stripped flesh before her skin knitted over again. “Holy shit,” he whispered. “I’m not supposed to look like that, am I?” She tore her eyes from the mirror. “You said it wouldn’t be like that!” “How the hell?” He sounded out each word. “Has Kristen touched you?” She shook her head, her eyes wide. “Eden, you cannot let Kristen see you without your glamour. Do you understand?” “Why? Why did I look like that?” “No one builds up Touch that fast. No one can store that much.”

“A bit uneasy, maybe? Like you’ve had too much caffeine? That’s usually what it feels like when Touch isn’t spread, at least the first day.”

“It feeds off their feelings, strips away the ability to see right and wrong, to know when to stop. A mortal on Touch sees no consequences. I guess in that way it’s more like a drug than a virus. If they’re happy, satisfied, they come through with a few crazy stories.”

“Mortals forget us because we’re not part of their path. We don’t have one. Neither do angels.

“Oh,” she said quietly, the word drawn out. “Nothing really. Just listening.” “To what?” she dared. “Things under things under things.” Her eyelids dropped in long blinks. “‘Locations and times—what is it in me that meets them all, whenever and wherever, and makes me at home?’” Eden stared, not sure what to say. The train rounded a curve, the brakes shrieking. Kristen blinked hard, the fugue seeming to end as her smile evaporated. Her eyes focused on Eden. “What?” she snapped, breaking contact, smoothing out the folds of her dress. “It’s a poem, Eden. You don’t have to look at me like I escaped an asylum. Get some fucking culture.” Eden sighed, too tired to deal with Kristen’s attitude. “I would think if you were going to quote Whitman you’d go for something not taken from Leaves of Grass. Especially if you’re going to pull the fancy cultured bitch card.” Kristen stayed silent, watching her. “Touché,” she said finally

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “If there was another way, I would have taken it.” Her arms loosened, her voice muffled by his shoulder. “What do you mean ‘another way’?” “For you to turn into a Sider.”

“Where do I go? Once I get to Manhattan?” “Not my problem.” Kristen shook her head, smiling. “And not something you should want me to know.” She spun on her heel. “You’re nothing but a rumor now.”

“Just because I don’t know how to work a toy, doesn’t mean I don’t want it in my toy box. She’s shiny.” He took a few steps, putting some distance between them. “And I want her.”

“James?” she whispered, and looked up at Adam. His eyes squinted as if he could focus the picture until it made sense. Eden’s hair stirred, strands sliding against her cheek. The body burst into grains of ash; stinging eyes she slammed tight a second too late. When she opened them, James was gone.

“‘And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor…’” Kristen pulled a lighter from her boot, flicked it to life, and relit the candle. “Poe. How…melodramatic of you,” Eden said.

“You have nothing to fear, yet you’re here. There must be a reason. Ready to spill it, Eden? Or are we going to babble quips back and forth all night? Were your boys simply not satisfying your need for intelligent conversation?”

“Eden,” Kristen chided, sounding hurt. “Do you know how rare it is for me to find someone I consider an equal? In another life we might have been at the mall together, glaring at those bitches who take up all the tables in the food court and never fucking eat. As it is, you seem to have enough on your plate.”

I seriously <3 Kristen too much for words! #TouchMortal #TheEndIsHere @LeahClifford @Epicreads

“‘And devils also came out of many, crying out—’” “Don’t have time for this, Kristen,” Eden interrupted, giving away her frustration. “Was it the Fallen or not?” Tapping a finger against her cheek, Kristen waited for Eden’s response over the wood she leaned her elbows on. “Who? Tennyson? Yeats? I have no clue.” Kristen twirled a lock of brown around her finger, her gems dancing in the candlelight. “Actually, it’s from the Bible.”

Gee, Gabe. Maybe that’s how I felt after finding out I was dead. You know? After you abandoned me at Goths R Us. Then again, I’m not really open to an apology.”

I had to know when you’d leave, have a plan to get him through without a Fall. I tried to check your path. We thought the Siders were pathless only after they died. If you hadn’t been with him, if he hadn’t fallen in love with you, we never would have known they were pathless as mortals.”

“Kristen sent a few of her Screamers your way. She gave me their names first. After they…had contact with you, I took a trip Upstairs.” She tilted her head, waiting for him to finish, her anger arrested. “They were there, Eden.” “What do you mean they were there? Upstairs?” She scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Gabe. They’re suicides. They can’t…” He glanced around, lowering his voice. “Eden, sins or not, Siders shouldn’t be there at all. Mortals follow a path for a reason. We thought Siders were immortal because there’s nowhere for them to go. You put them back on the grid, Eden.” He raised his head, staring at her for a long second. Her fingers stilled. A rebellious smile twitched at the corners of her lips. “So I give them a path?” “This isn’t a good thing.” Gabe sounded exasperated. He reached across the table to entwine his hands in hers, squeezing them tight before she pulled away. “You’re putting souls where they don’t belong. There’ll be consequences when Upstairs finds out.”

“‘Never again would birds’ song be the same. And to do that to birds was why she came.’” Kristen’s voice was full of wonder. “Frost,” Eden said.

“Oh, fuck me,” she said. “That happy to see me, huh?” Az tightened the arms already snug around her waist from behind. His hair against her neck, his head nestling onto her shoulder the way he had always done broke the spell. She ripped away, twisting to face him. Her first thought was that Kristen had been right about the Emo phase. His dark brown curls were gone, dyed black and practically ironed. The hair drifted over one of his blue eyes; the one she could see was lined in kohl. He was sinewy, the tight black thermal clinging to him, defined muscles strange on arms she remembered far less skinny than they were now. Her second thought was that Kristen had been wrong about him looking like shit. He looked incredible. “Seriously?” she asked, thrusting him away, ignoring the shiver that passed through her when her hands met his chest. For once, the feeling had nothing to do with Touch.

“Hey!” Eden called. He turned around just in time to catch the jacket she’d shrugged off and tossed to him. He slipped the leather coat on, covering his wings, and winked at her. When he was gone, Libby turned to her. “He’s a…” “Pain in the ass,” Eden said,

“I watched him sleep, once. The last night, before I…” She cut off, forced herself to go on. “I was so tired but I wouldn’t let my eyes close because I was afraid he wouldn’t be there when I woke up, that I just dreamed him. And then…and then everything changed,” she said. “I thought I would die without him.” “Why would you say that to me?” he asked quietly, his eyes full of heartache. Her fingers slipped under his palm. She spread them, but he didn’t take her hand. “Because I did die. Because a few months later, it hurts me to even look at him, and I don’t know what that means.” “Do you still want to be with him?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she said.

“I want you to close your eyes. I want you to fall asleep first.” “Why?” she asked, suddenly afraid he would slip out of the room as soon as she did. “Because I’ll be here in the morning.”

She took a deep breath. “You’re not forgiven yet. You know that, right?” she said, wishing she’d just kept quiet. It had been the eyes. And the fingers on her skin. And the…Shut up, she told herself. “How the hell do you think you’re going to fix things?”

“These lies that permeate my life, I saw you standing there.” He strummed a delicate melody, humming softly, shifting the song into a lullaby. “Words fall like pebbles to the floor, my mouth is filling up with stone. I fell the longest drop of all. Oh God, don’t you take her away.”

“They make it smell weird in here. Gives me a headache.” She nodded. “Like snow or something.”

He kissed her, a soft hesitant flutter asking permission. “I hate you,” she whispered. Her hand caught his neck, her fingers twisting into the curls there, and she almost believed she had the strength to pull away. “I hated you.” But then she tipped forward, just enough, and his mouth met hers hard, desperate and hungry. She kissed him back, her body remembering his, anticipating, moving into his arms as they came up to pull her closer. A thousand complications sprang to her mind. She pushed them back down. All that mattered was Az, there and in her arms and kissing her.

“This is just the start, Eden.” Gabe crouched next to her. “He’s constantly fighting the need to complete his Fall. Battling his darkest thoughts.” He closed his eyes, lowering his voice. “You know what Touch does.” Az’s eyes fluttered open. They weren’t blue anymore. Or the angry red they’d been minutes ago in the bedroom. She could see the vessels, the cord of his optic nerve, the muscles concaving around the back of the orb. He blinked and they flashed obsidian black.

Her brain skipped right over relief and splashed into denial. Libby stood in front of a boy no taller than her. She took his hands. A breeze whipped her hair into corn silk twists as she leaned into his lips. The boy shuddered. And fell.

“I’d already racked up quite a list of sins by last summer. Then I met Boyfriend and added a few more. I bet you thought you were the only one who could snag an angel, huh?” “Luke,” Eden said. Her

“Struggling to keep from Falling because of what you did?” Libby said gently. “That’s where he was when you left. But that was hours ago. It’s possible someone rushed into the apartment. Someone who told him he had to come right away. That you were in trouble.” Libby fell silent, waiting for Eden to make the connection. “You,” she whispered. Libby shook her head, dropping her voice. “There’s no way I had time. Try again.” Eden’s brain ricocheted through the list. Kristen. Jarrod. Adam. She snapped her eyes up to Libby. “Adam?” she said. Libby reached into the pocket of her white hoodie. “And what a twist that was! I didn’t think he’d answer my phone call. He was so furious when he left. But once I told him how angel eyes have a tendency to influence and explained Luke’s offer to him, he was all for it.” “Adam would never betray me,” Eden said, her tongue flicking across her lips. “He thinks he’s protecting you from Az. Blames everything on the eyes.”

“Are you sure you want to know?” “I need to.” She squeezed his hand, prodding him on. “His impulses will take over the first few weeks. He’ll live off anger, hate. It will be all he knows. He’ll cause pain just for the sake of watching another in agony. He’ll glory in it. The Az you know will be dead, Eden.”

“‘Darest thou now O soul,/Walk out with me toward the unknown region/Where neither ground is for the feet, nor any path to follow?’” “Whitman? Honestly, Bukowski says it so much better.”

“‘Beware of them; for one of their key words is “love” and beware those who only take instructions from their God.’”

“‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers—/That perches in the soul—/And sings the tune without the words—/And never stops—at all.”

“No, you’ve had your fun. Let her go,” Gabe whispered, looking sick. He snapped his hand back, hooking the back of his shirt and yanking it off in a single motion. Eden gasped. A rush of feathers surrounded him as his wings expanded.

But the desire burned too strong. Confess, it whispered. Fall. Be glorious. His voice came out strong, the truth behind it undeniable. “I murdered Eden.”

“Eden isn’t yours,” Az called after him. Luke looked back. “Gabe made her. Her Siders go Downstairs now.”

wouldn’t look at her, shrugged a shoulder under Jarrod’s arm to take on more of his weight. When Az spoke, his voice came out quiet and broken. “There is no Gabriel anymore.”