Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping

by Robert M. Sapolsky

There is little evidence that any of these childhood experiences leave indelible biological scars, in contrast to the results of horrific childhood trauma. But whatever style of child-rearing is practiced, it will have its consequences. Small makes a profound point. You begin by reading her book assuming it is going to be an assortment box of prescriptions, that at the end, you’ll emerge with a perfect combo for your kids, a mixture of the Kwakiutl Baby Diet, the Trobriand Sleeping Program, and the Ituri Pygmy Infant Aerobics Plan. But, Small emphasizes, there is no perfect, “natural” program. Societies raise their children so that they grow into adults who behave in a way valued by that society. As Harry Chapin sang in “Cat’s in the Cradle,” that ode to baby boomer remorse, “My boy was just like me.”