I truly believed that everyone had the scrambled thoughts I did, as well as the occasional breaks from reality and the sense that some unseen force was compelling them to destructive behavior. The difference was, others were simply more adept than I at masking the craziness, and presenting a healthy, competent front to the world. What was “broken” about me, I thought, was my inability to control my thoughts and fantasies, or to keep from expressing them.
