The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness

by Elyn R. Saks

easy on the eyes as well. His mother was foreign, so he didn’t look or act in a way I’d come to think of as classically British; he seemed more open and approachable than anyone I’d met in Oxford. He effortlessly made jokes; he spoke to me as though we were friends; he seemed to care about me. I looked forward to our appointments, no matter how difficult the conversations were. It was human contact, and I craved that. While he listened to my negative thoughts and feelings, Dr. Hamilton showed little interest in knowing what they were about; instead, he focused solely on how I might make them go away. Rather than delving into my past or my unconscious, he focused entirely on my present—what we could do to make things better “right now” and how I might begin digging out of my depression. He offered some simple, concrete suggestions, like making written lists and a schedule, to keep me on track and not overwhelmed by what I had to do (and things I kept forgetting to do, like washing my clothes).