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January 2 - January 26, 2024
And I’d begun noticing a unique signature of the behaviors that hurt us most. We can quickly repeat them. The worst habits are things we can do over and over and over in rapid succession—eventually to our detriment.
Once we know something is pleasurable or rewarding, dopamine is primarily released when we’re pursuing and anticipating receiving that pleasurable thing, not when we’re actually receiving the pleasurable thing.
want a reward infinitely more if we aren’t sure we’ll get it.
They believe the loop is central to all sorts of damaging human behaviors and conditions ranging from overspending and obesity to addiction and burnout.
“In almost every act of our daily lives…we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons…who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses….We are governed, our minds molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by [people] we have never heard of….It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”
when we give in to our boundless appetite for more, we end up devouring ourselves.
People use drugs for good reasons. Drugs are an easy way to escape, feel empowered, cope with life, and survive.
Addiction is chronically seeking a reward despite negative consequences.
“When you think of humans today, I think a lot of us get bored with how easy it is to get resources.
Addiction, in other words, is a learned behavior that once worked well but begins to backfire. Using a drug or drinking still relieves discomfort, provides stimulation, and solves problems in the short term. But it starts creating long-term problems. The more often we repeat it, the deeper we learn it, the harder it is to break. Meanwhile, the problems pile up.
“The problem isn’t the substance or behavior of choice,” Szalavitz told me. “The problem is why you need that drug, why those drugs appeal to you, and why you are trying to get out? What are you trying to escape? What do you need in your life to feel comfortable and safe and productive?”
Take courses to improve your skills. Learn to read and pour yourself into books. Actively go out and make friends or change your friend group. Make big changes.” Embrace short-term discomfort to find a long-term benefit.
So in life, we have to do this painful and awkward thing of trusting people and information and making decisions beyond our understanding.”
“Hubristic pride leads us to behave in ways where the goal is all about getting other people to appreciate us.” It’s driven people mad and into self-destruction.
There are now more self-storage facilities in the United States than McDonald’s, Burger Kings, Starbucks, and Walmarts—combined.
“I think that is translated in the modern world in which humans value things they had to work longer and harder to get,”
Some scholars estimate that in one day we are now exposed to more information than a person in the fifteenth century encountered in their entire lifetime.
“Sneering at religion is juvenile, symptomatic of a stunted imagination.”
“we realize we should ask for help. So we pray. And it helps. Prayer helps. It’s easy, it costs nothing, and it takes thirty seconds. Prayer is lifting your heart and mind to something larger than yourself. There’s mental prayer, vocal prayer, meditation.”
Another friend, Yohance Boulden, a soldier who did five tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, echoed the same. “I don’t think I’ll get over my time there,” he said. “In war, things we take for granted become exciting and you appreciate them. You get stoked for mail, hot food, hot showers. You feel most alive and focused when decisions feel like they have the ultimate consequence.”
Boulden told me, “What I struggle with most today is people complaining about trivial things or wasting their time. People wasting their time really bothers me. People label it as me just being an irritable vet. But I think it’s a case of seeing each moment as precious and knowing that I’m watching lost time.”
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
