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Your mother insisted it was the sea that delivered you, and so you were named.” Morgan is my name, and its origin true at least—“sea-born” by way of the Welsh tongue.
It wasn’t as if I knew when my fury was coming; I couldn’t catch it in my hands, or even bury it deep, because it already lived there, slumbering in my core like a dragon waiting to be woken.
“Survival,” he said. “At any given moment she can fly away, knowing she can live. She doesn’t need me, the falconer, or the shelter of the mews. That is the greatest power of all.”
“Don’t fret, good woman. It wasn’t adultery. Your husband was already dead at his fortress. Merlin will confirm everything. It was his clever sorcery that cleared my passage to your bed.” My breath caught in my throat, but the awfulness in her whisper told all. “That was you? With his face, his body? How did…How could you?” “You rejected my admiration and spurned my advances,” said the King. “What choice did you give me, truly?”
Uther Pendragon—liar, King and murderer—smiled, a joyless thing made only of victory; the same sneer I had seen once before, on the face of a dark, hulking figure, in the corridor of my mother’s chamber, trailing mist and wearing the skin of my father.
My capacity for hatred has always been great, but unlike my temper it was never innate;
Learning about the world seemed the first step towards greater understanding.
“If you are unholy then I am damned along with you.”
“Morgan,” he said in his particular way, though it was deeper now, steeped in tenderness, rich with our secrets.
Protect the chevalier, it had said.
Knowledge cannot be bad, only misused.
Every word and long, aching note spoke to where we had been and where we were now, and just then, locked within our mutual gaze, it was as if there had been no absence.
“That makes two of us,” he said softly. “Revived by you.”
“All I know is how it feels to be together again. Like I am whole.”
“In truth, Morgan, I can no longer remember when I haven’t thought of you. It’s as if you’ve been my whole life.”
I would do anything to be all that you need.
“For you, Morgan. The thought I might see you, just one more time. La folie, I know, madness. But I could not make myself leave.” “And here I am, once more, offering my own truth. Accolon, I have never wanted or needed any more than you. You’ve always been enough.”
“If I am not for you, then I am for no one,”
“Bring me a priest if you don’t believe me,” I said. “I will swear before God Himself that I have done nothing I regret.”
“Tell Accolon I love him. And that I am only ever his, come what may.”
“Love,” she continued, “is potent and powerful—it gives pleasure, meaning. But it also dominates, weakens, is a beast greedy and selfish, requiring constant sacrifice. To love is to cede our own power, an act of surrender we cannot guarantee will be returned.
“It isn’t weakness,” I protested. “Love clarifies, not destroys. It brings strength, fulfilment to our hopes and wants. My love for Accolon, I chose it. He is my fate—one I decided upon.”
Nevertheless, my lady, you have me bewitched.”
How could I stop looking for someone I had never ceased seeking since I had first laid eyes on him?
light bouncing off an endless rainbow of windows and the cathedral’s vaulting spires.
A man might be told to say a few more Hail Marys, or spend some weeks exiled from a bed or two. But only women burn.”
“There isn’t a law yet made that cannot be broken, given the correct skills, and enough courage.”
“My name is Morgan,” I said. “And there aren’t enough words for all that I am.”
They were men, after all, and I was still at the mercy of what they chose to believe.