I am sorry, Mummy, that I didn’t understand that your back-and-forth was a reflection of how confusing it was to live with him. Without Yush and me at home as buffers, Papa was now your entire world. You felt responsible for his well-being, but you were also so angry at him for hurting you. I wonder if your decision to tell him some version of my thoughts was a way to share your own opinion passively, which was safer than directly saying that his behavior hurt you. We were all drowning, unintentionally dunking one another below the surface in an effort to lift ourselves up in a raging ocean.
:(((((
